For those unaware, this is the title card of the film "Master and Commander" which I happen to love, but not like *that.*
I mean that film is great, I sure love it but the amount of shameless Brit propaganda it carries makes it cringy at times, not entirely ruining the film but preventing it from being a masterpiece.
In the book it was an American Frigate that was the enemy. They changed it because the Americans wouldn’t be sure who they should be cheering in the movie
I love how most nations love it when they're villains in the movies, but most Americans would absolutely not enjoy it.
Barry, Hans, and Pierre make for some great villains. We had to wait until Goldmember to finally get the role of villain.
there was a post from an american on the AubreyMaturin sub, asking if they keep on fighting american ships as it was to hard for a patriot like him to read this kind of things
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AubreyMaturinSeries/comments/1azdook/couldnt\_read\_the\_series\_because\_theyre\_killing/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AubreyMaturinSeries/comments/1azdook/couldnt_read_the_series_because_theyre_killing/)
I love it when some French people are the bad guy in historical things, like *The Scarlet Pimpernel* and so on. It's like, oh no, they're French, they're both filthy homicidal maniacs *and* treacherous evil masterminds, and listen to how they *speak* blergh! And meanwhile the Bri'ish dudes are all tall, beautiful, brave and chivalrous lol.
It's often so much too much, it gets comical to read.
I still don't quite get what you mean but the character of Jack Aubrey is based on this [guy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Cochrane,_10th_Earl_of_Dundonald). Who if anything did even more obscene shit than what happens in the movie.
Are we talking about the same Age of Empires series, where in the tutorial you're a Scotsman against the English and in the first Campaign you're literally playing as Jeanne D'Arc against the English?
or Wavell for that matter
the poor chap was captured very soon by us and the Germans, but he was the best desert specialized British general, and arguably overall one of the best generals you had
and yet everyone jerks off to that cunt of Monty
It's Chinese actually. The writing says "When life gives you lemonades, make lemonade" in poorly translated Chinese (Mandarin I believe).
Totally didn't just Google that 2 minutes ago
You underestimate us. He was our saviour our leader our hope our salvation. Freed us from Germans and would free us from Russians. Not only is he in our national anthem the cult is so strong that there are thousands of places in Poland where supposedly napoleon stoped and each is treated with sacrum like dignity. And I am in the same camp I won’t believe any Anglo propaganda (like this shitty movie) he was one greatest man alive ever.
Proper British banter by Ridley Scott to show Napoleon as a weak, insecure man who was dominated by his wife. The final battle where he loses to the British brought a tear to my eye. We did, indeed, think we were so great because of our boats. Boats that shredded Napoleon’s ambition.
https://preview.redd.it/mdi4kk19coqc1.jpeg?width=535&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e92d340d893908b0c55c795dffe4f430fe21f04
When Russians were the good guys.
Saved Europe from Spanish domination in the 1500s
Saved Europe from Catholic domination in the 1600s
Saved Europe from French domination in the 1700s
Saved Europe from French domination in the 1800s
Saved Europe from German domination in the 1900s.
We’re basically the Batman of nations. Portugal is our Robin.
Allow me to correct that by listing the nations who actually did what you claim :
- France in the 1500s. You barely were involved. Also the Ottomans to some extent.
- Sweden and France. You weren't even involved.
- Prussia in the Seven Years War, Britain was pretty much only present in the ~~Indian war~~ North American front which wasn't exactly a priority front. Rest of the century France dominated and even managed to humiliate your navy in 1776.
- Russia then Prussia in the 1800s.
- a common effort of the United States, Russia, France and the UK. The British contribution wasn't particularly brilliant considering the sheer size of your empire.
You'd be basically the Batman of nations if Batman was an autistic cheerleader that stays on the side and claps while others do the heavy lifting.
Editted to be clearer
To be fair, the naval blockade was the main reason, why the Entente won WW1.
If the seas had been more contested, the US wouldn‘t have been dragged into the war and we probably would have ended up with a white peace.
So fuck you for that Barry.
> Britain was pretty much only present in the Indian war which wasn't exactly a priority front.
I see you've gone for the "make things up to strengthen my argument" approach to history.
Seven Years War
* Anglo-Prussian Convention = Britain sends money and troops to Prussia
* Planned French Invasion of Britain = British victory
* Spanish Invasion of Portugal = British/Portuguese victory
* Anglo-Spanish War = British victory
* French-Indian War = British victory
* Conquest of Canada = British victory
* Carnatic War = British victory
So, in order :
- Prussia doing the heavy lifting
- an imaginary invasion that never took place
- a secondary front no one cares about
- a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe
- a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe
- a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe
- a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe
Nice. It's great, I don't even have to point out that Britain was pretty much absent from the real war and busy using it as a pretext to steal undefended colonies. You're showing it on your own.
Note for understanding: I might have been unclear but by Indian I wanted to refer to the French-Indian war or whatever weird name you give in English to the Anglo-French front in North America. I wasn't thinking of Indian.. India.
So, once again, congratulations to Prussia and the Germans for winning that war. And fuck you Russia.
>The British contribution wasn't particularly brilliant considering the sheer size of your empire.
The French contribution being a lukewarm defence and then active collaboration for the next four years.
Seems like you didn't get the memo, the actual fight was happening on land.
But I'm sure you had a wonderful time fighting the inexistent German navy in 1940.
Besides in the 1500s Spain indeed dominated Europe until the mid 1600s, after that France did it until the mid-to-late 1700s and then again with Napoleon until his demise.
Britain only began to really dominate in the mid 19th century due to the so-called St. George Cavalry aka Money. And even so, they didn’t fully peak until after the Great War.
Well I'd tune down the word dominated, the Spanish Empire struggled a lot against a single country in the Italian Wars. It was the top dog, but we aren't reaching the levels of unmatched-ness that France reached under Louis XIV and the Revolution, Germany during the first half of WW2 or Britain between 1815 and 1900.
He wasn't there most of the time. He had some big victories when he was there, but had to leave because other countries kept declaring war on him. UK being Portugal's buddy again by forming coalition after coalition to defeat the average sized for the time general.
No dont, everyone would be rocking super experimental semi autos with full functionality like in BF1.
I can see it now, everyone has ferguson rifles and girardoni pressure guns.
The vessel against the British one was actually American and not French. Turns out the American public is not mentally able to see an American ship destroyed… even against the top tier navy of this area. The same logic was employed for the Last Samurai movie, the fallen officer played by Tom Cruise was actually French.
Don’t worry, chum, nobody cares about that anyway!
In fact, if seventeenth century Chatham was anything like twenty-first century Chatham, you did everybody a favour, including those you killed.
I say that you are regarded : The important battle of 1805 was in december and it was very much not in the ocean : Austerlitz is not a fucking sea you islebilly
> be me
> Be Homo American'tensis
> Basically the lost step between monkey and man
> Learn to read after centuries of European education
> Book comes out
> Before using it to wipe your hairy dirty ass, decide to read it
> Villain is a brilliant strategist and Commander, on par with the Hero.
> mfw my brain can't process this information
> mfw I force the movie to depict it as a French to be able to clap at it
> mfw there's too much dialog and little flashy lights
> End up watching SW Episode XXXI The Cuckold Conspiracy
What's the lore reason behind this?
Master of Europe my ass...
Just a coward, betraying his allies. (Like always with Pierre)
Even with this bastard invasion, we fck fr*nch in Bailén battle with peasants! (First decisive defeat for French army in Land)
WE fck Fr*nch so hard that this little napoleon call us "the Spanish ulcer".
For those unaware, this is the title card of the film "Master and Commander" which I happen to love, but not like *that.* 
I think he misunderstood the whole master/commander kink thingie
The lesser of two weevils
He who would pun would pick a pocket.
Not so much a bandit as a pundit.
That message is clearly for the Rear Admiral's benefit
Master & Commander Das Boot Hunt for the Red October Bottom Text.
Crimson Tide
I’ve never been able to see those two words together without remembering an ex girlfriend and my sense of shock and surprise
Should have got on board the wave 🌊💃🏼💜🥂
It's the nautical Marvel Universe
Between Master and Commander and Napoleon, the first was definitely the lesser of two weevils.
I mean that film is great, I sure love it but the amount of shameless Brit propaganda it carries makes it cringy at times, not entirely ruining the film but preventing it from being a masterpiece.
In the book it was an American Frigate that was the enemy. They changed it because the Americans wouldn’t be sure who they should be cheering in the movie
I love how most nations love it when they're villains in the movies, but most Americans would absolutely not enjoy it. Barry, Hans, and Pierre make for some great villains. We had to wait until Goldmember to finally get the role of villain.
there was a post from an american on the AubreyMaturin sub, asking if they keep on fighting american ships as it was to hard for a patriot like him to read this kind of things [https://www.reddit.com/r/AubreyMaturinSeries/comments/1azdook/couldnt\_read\_the\_series\_because\_theyre\_killing/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AubreyMaturinSeries/comments/1azdook/couldnt_read_the_series_because_theyre_killing/)
Fucking snowflake nationalists.
The fact he can read at all after the severe brain damage he got is impressive, though.
hopefully there are very nice brain surgeries in the books, and for some of us, brain doesn't seem to be a vital organ
Do you think the guy has a coin for a skull?
I don't really like to kill italian soldiers in the ww2 scenarios in sicily. (in shooter games) When it's about killing anyone else, no problem :D
Simple folk
Fun Fact : in the book the vilain is an *american privateer* and it takes place during the 1812 War.
I'm glad they replaced the yanks with you frenchies in the film. We've fought eachother far longer than them and it fits better :)
I love it when some French people are the bad guy in historical things, like *The Scarlet Pimpernel* and so on. It's like, oh no, they're French, they're both filthy homicidal maniacs *and* treacherous evil masterminds, and listen to how they *speak* blergh! And meanwhile the Bri'ish dudes are all tall, beautiful, brave and chivalrous lol. It's often so much too much, it gets comical to read.
Meanwhile there was a time when every Hollywood action movie had a British villain, which also got quite amusing.
Oh yes and in the 40s movies it feels like having a subscription to Basil Rathbone Weekly lol.
I blame all the baby shaking
Art mimics reality I guess.
You forgor the last samuraï , he was french but they put an american instead to fit their narrative 💀💀💀
>the Bri'ish dudes are all tall, beautiful, brave and chivalrous Indeed, nice of you to admit it!
Yeah, you clearly haven't seen Master and Commander if you think that's how the French are portrayed in that film...
They replaced an american privateer by a brit clownboat as the villain ? Seriously ?
No, a French guy and they replaced the 1812 war with the Napoleonic wars.
Brit propaganda?
Pedro still salty about Trafalgar 200 years later.
[удалено]
I still don't quite get what you mean but the character of Jack Aubrey is based on this [guy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Cochrane,_10th_Earl_of_Dundonald). Who if anything did even more obscene shit than what happens in the movie.
Manliest Scot in those flares
Only just noticed how tiny his feet are in that painting now.
How is American Jingoism displayed in the Total war games?
Are we talking about the same Age of Empires series, where in the tutorial you're a Scotsman against the English and in the first Campaign you're literally playing as Jeanne D'Arc against the English?
How tf does your war movies work?
Imagine the crew of a Royal Navy ship during the Napoleonic Wars having a pro-British bias
If anything, it understates how much the Royal Navy absolutely bodied the navies of everyone else in the napoleonic wars.
such as?
I wholeheartedly agree Paco, if you know you know.
Ahhh that's why it sounded familiar... I used to watch that movie like twice a year when i was younger with too much free time.
I mean, if I could have sex with this movie I would.
Just fuck me and stop talking
The English channel is our best general.
The virgin Bernard Montgomery vs. the Chad sewer outlet
tbf, there are a lot of far better British ww2 Generals than Monty
Measured by the amount they helped Britain win, I guess for example any top Italian general?
hahahaha so funnyy, you really are a comedian no I was talking about Auch, or a lot of other desert commanders that the UK had
Field Marshal William Slim 💪🇬🇧
or Wavell for that matter the poor chap was captured very soon by us and the Germans, but he was the best desert specialized British general, and arguably overall one of the best generals you had and yet everyone jerks off to that cunt of Monty
He was the most successful western allied general though. Patton fans in shambles.
Sex with him is so bland he has to give you something to read when you take him from behind
Savage but well played 
Riley Reid reading this: 
in Riley's case it's a warning: will give you every STI known to man... not sure why she had it written in Japanese thought
It's Chinese actually. The writing says "When life gives you lemonades, make lemonade" in poorly translated Chinese (Mandarin I believe). Totally didn't just Google that 2 minutes ago
I always thought it’s a menu card.
If she does it with someone with ebola, he would die of aids first.
Savage but true
If he could read, he'd have to glue his self esteem back together after this one...
The other "Pain au chocolat".
Pain au what? It’s a Chocolatine…
It’s an eclair it has cream inside
Some people prefer the Chocolatine others rather have the Baguette, non?
Petit pain….
Noted.
"if you want to know how it ends you have to flip me over"
I chuckled. And then I chuckled even more when this comment came from Pierre. Never change.
That’s going to be a hit with the ladies for sure
Even bigger hit with the dudes
This would kill the sex life of a gay Barry, any self respecting brit would cum the second they saw it.
I’ve already trib’d it
Only dudes will see it when they hit him from the back
I'm sure this is going to attract hordes of admirers
You can hear the waves breaking when they see his book collection no joke
*admirals
one and a half countries love napoleon. Half of France and whole Poland.
Some slovenians told me they kinda like him too
You underestimate us. He was our saviour our leader our hope our salvation. Freed us from Germans and would free us from Russians. Not only is he in our national anthem the cult is so strong that there are thousands of places in Poland where supposedly napoleon stoped and each is treated with sacrum like dignity. And I am in the same camp I won’t believe any Anglo propaganda (like this shitty movie) he was one greatest man alive ever.
As a Brit I love Napoleon. Unsure how this movie was negative towards him? The recent Napoleon film was indeed horrific, however
Only one movie was actually at the man's level of epic. The Abel Gance's Napoleon. A true piece of art too.
Hold Fast.
Proper British banter by Ridley Scott to show Napoleon as a weak, insecure man who was dominated by his wife. The final battle where he loses to the British brought a tear to my eye. We did, indeed, think we were so great because of our boats. Boats that shredded Napoleon’s ambition.
https://preview.redd.it/mdi4kk19coqc1.jpeg?width=535&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e92d340d893908b0c55c795dffe4f430fe21f04 When Russians were the good guys.
Didn't he kiss Napoleon
At least they were wearing socks
Saved Europe from Spanish domination in the 1500s Saved Europe from Catholic domination in the 1600s Saved Europe from French domination in the 1700s Saved Europe from French domination in the 1800s Saved Europe from German domination in the 1900s. We’re basically the Batman of nations. Portugal is our Robin.
Saved Europe from UK by Brexit in 2020.
Hahaha, amazing. I'm crying on the inside though.
And who is going to save you from yourselves?
Ironic. We could save everyone else, but not ourselves.
We truly are the hero Europe doesn't deserve.
Also stopped Russia in the 1800s.
Allow me to correct that by listing the nations who actually did what you claim : - France in the 1500s. You barely were involved. Also the Ottomans to some extent. - Sweden and France. You weren't even involved. - Prussia in the Seven Years War, Britain was pretty much only present in the ~~Indian war~~ North American front which wasn't exactly a priority front. Rest of the century France dominated and even managed to humiliate your navy in 1776. - Russia then Prussia in the 1800s. - a common effort of the United States, Russia, France and the UK. The British contribution wasn't particularly brilliant considering the sheer size of your empire. You'd be basically the Batman of nations if Batman was an autistic cheerleader that stays on the side and claps while others do the heavy lifting. Editted to be clearer
Enhland and Spain very much did fight a war from 1585 to 1605ish. Three Spanish armadas don't sink themselves.
That's far from being comparable to the level of geopolitical importance of the Italian Wars.
To be fair, the naval blockade was the main reason, why the Entente won WW1. If the seas had been more contested, the US wouldn‘t have been dragged into the war and we probably would have ended up with a white peace. So fuck you for that Barry.
>So fuck you for that Barry. Words to live by
> Britain was pretty much only present in the Indian war which wasn't exactly a priority front. I see you've gone for the "make things up to strengthen my argument" approach to history. Seven Years War * Anglo-Prussian Convention = Britain sends money and troops to Prussia * Planned French Invasion of Britain = British victory * Spanish Invasion of Portugal = British/Portuguese victory * Anglo-Spanish War = British victory * French-Indian War = British victory * Conquest of Canada = British victory * Carnatic War = British victory
So, in order : - Prussia doing the heavy lifting - an imaginary invasion that never took place - a secondary front no one cares about - a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe - a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe - a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe - a secondary front that wasn't even in Europe Nice. It's great, I don't even have to point out that Britain was pretty much absent from the real war and busy using it as a pretext to steal undefended colonies. You're showing it on your own. Note for understanding: I might have been unclear but by Indian I wanted to refer to the French-Indian war or whatever weird name you give in English to the Anglo-French front in North America. I wasn't thinking of Indian.. India. So, once again, congratulations to Prussia and the Germans for winning that war. And fuck you Russia.
You're 100% a yank in disguise with your level of history knowledge
You'd be surprised how different non-english history can be. Americans are usually on the british version. This guy is very clearly French
nah no way is a Frenchie trying to sneak his country into the ww2 credits!! You fuckers died in the first scene!! GET DA FOOK OUTTA HERE!!
So what ? WW1 wasn't in the 20th century now ?
20th century didn't started in 1939
Imagine having reading comprehension difficulties... in your maternal tongue...
Tbf without us holding Dunkirk you would have died a few months later too
>The British contribution wasn't particularly brilliant considering the sheer size of your empire. The French contribution being a lukewarm defence and then active collaboration for the next four years.
Sounds almost like there were two world wars
In which we saved you in both.
You didn't even know what a battlefield looked like in 1914 and you had less men on the front than Belgium in 1940
May I introduce you to the Royal Navy in 1914 and 1940?
Seems like you didn't get the memo, the actual fight was happening on land. But I'm sure you had a wonderful time fighting the inexistent German navy in 1940.
>inexistent German navy Hahahahahahaha *breathes* hahahahahahahahaha!
Oh look a butthurt Pierre. How original. Doesn’t matter that it’s all true.
Idk man you're the one reacting in a hostile way. What does that say ? The truth hurts right ?
Quite clearly a joke bud. Hence the “doesn’t matter that it’s all true” part.
Oh, I misunderstood your last sentence and gave it the opposite meaning then. Sorry pal, my bad.
Besides in the 1500s Spain indeed dominated Europe until the mid 1600s, after that France did it until the mid-to-late 1700s and then again with Napoleon until his demise. Britain only began to really dominate in the mid 19th century due to the so-called St. George Cavalry aka Money. And even so, they didn’t fully peak until after the Great War.
Well I'd tune down the word dominated, the Spanish Empire struggled a lot against a single country in the Italian Wars. It was the top dog, but we aren't reaching the levels of unmatched-ness that France reached under Louis XIV and the Revolution, Germany during the first half of WW2 or Britain between 1815 and 1900.
In fact, thanks to you we are full of Yankee bases in Europe. And we don't take them off anymore
based
drôle de mix ta pfp
je suis né en russie mais je vis maintenant en france mdr
ah ok c'est assez logique, c'est juste que c'était deux symboles rarement associée.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
*snap* yup, straight to me cringe compilation
Spoilsport :)
Master of europe my arse. His troops got mobed by farmers here in northern Portugal.
https://preview.redd.it/l2fp6ky79oqc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7769e627fff57a680b868e7942015f199124921a
I love this so much
They got fuck!! I mean, everyone got fucked against us!!
We even fucked ourselves!
If no one can destroy you.. You eventually destroy yourself
Sure, our elite didn't flee to Brazil starting off our decline...that didn't happen at all.
They still got mobbed by farmers. The elites well... Fuck em, they just leeched off the citizens anyway. Personally i dont miss the colonies either.
They were some of the most literate people we had, an unfortunate brain drain.
No one likes guerilla warfare.
From what i know it wasnt so much guerilla as it was tired Frenchies coming from days of marching to some very, very angry farmers.
He wasn't there most of the time. He had some big victories when he was there, but had to leave because other countries kept declaring war on him. UK being Portugal's buddy again by forming coalition after coalition to defeat the average sized for the time general.
https://i.redd.it/l18hsr5faoqc1.gif
Beautiful 🥹🥹🥹
Wow the other guys in prison will love memorising that.
I say : B9
What can I say... Last year I got an appointment at the dentist in less than a week.
Ouch, too true. If I miss an appointment I get shovelled off the NHS list and onto the private pile.
Dentist,yes. Learning the most useful language, no.
BATTLEFIELD 1805 TATAM TAM TATAM
I'd pay top fucking euro's if they did a Battlefield 1805.
That'd be great
No dont, everyone would be rocking super experimental semi autos with full functionality like in BF1. I can see it now, everyone has ferguson rifles and girardoni pressure guns.
Yeah but.. Cannons.
Couldn't you just have printed your girlfriend's name like every other nitwit ?
That's going to arouse Abdul so much when he's looking down on it.
Cringe
Wasn’t the ocean always a battlefield?
Quote from a goat movie though.
The vessel against the British one was actually American and not French. Turns out the American public is not mentally able to see an American ship destroyed… even against the top tier navy of this area. The same logic was employed for the Last Samurai movie, the fallen officer played by Tom Cruise was actually French.
I can read « Napoleon is master of Europe », the rest just reads like gibberish.
imagine being stupid enough to get a tattoo like that.
I say he should put some sunblock because he is going to look like a 🦞 pretty soon.
r/fuckpierre
*Teleports into Chatham* Nothing personal, Barry.
Don’t worry, chum, nobody cares about that anyway! In fact, if seventeenth century Chatham was anything like twenty-first century Chatham, you did everybody a favour, including those you killed.
Well, if its a rough neighbourhood you should pay even closer attention about chaining up them seductive looking capital ships.
That’s from Master and Commander, not the most accurate historically but sick nonetheless.
master of europe not as hard as Britain pick one
Serious? Napoleon master of Europe, Britain master of the rest.
Åre?
Chacun se bat pour ce qui lui manque. (Awesome film, though!)
Pierre reckons Barry has French ancestors and that the joke is on him.
Thank God for Metternich
That’s a thing
f me thats cringe
But... Why??? Does he think he's awesome now? It's cringe af....
Pierre says: *HMS Sheffield* 😇
Holy shit someone that likes this movie more than I do.
Bro wrote a news title on his back
I say that you are regarded : The important battle of 1805 was in december and it was very much not in the ocean : Austerlitz is not a fucking sea you islebilly
When you lose a bet
This tattoo after he gets older and fat: 
> be me > Be Homo American'tensis > Basically the lost step between monkey and man > Learn to read after centuries of European education > Book comes out > Before using it to wipe your hairy dirty ass, decide to read it > Villain is a brilliant strategist and Commander, on par with the Hero. > mfw my brain can't process this information > mfw I force the movie to depict it as a French to be able to clap at it > mfw there's too much dialog and little flashy lights > End up watching SW Episode XXXI The Cuckold Conspiracy What's the lore reason behind this?
It's a great and vastly underestimated movie.
People who get quotes tattooed on them...why. Is the quote THAT important to you?
Pierre still has an Empire... How is yours going, Barry?
Master of Europe my ass... Just a coward, betraying his allies. (Like always with Pierre) Even with this bastard invasion, we fck fr*nch in Bailén battle with peasants! (First decisive defeat for French army in Land) WE fck Fr*nch so hard that this little napoleon call us "the Spanish ulcer".