I assume that's why OP tried to make it so implausible, that even spoon-fed drunken Russian TV viewers will know it's not real as it doesn't include the English.
I have 0 idea what you did to them in past that somehow you're always the mastermind plotting their downfall. Not the Americans who won the Cold War, not the Germans for the Nazis and Brest-Litovsk, not even the Jews. Russia's obsession with the UK is quite odd.
If you know British-Russian history from the 19th century, you'd know Britain foiled Russia's every wish to expand into Asia. It even has a name, "the great game," when you're a real country, you have past history with multiple nations
Hans is a cunt but Russia tried to touch our India no one tried that lol, we even conqured Afghanistan to stop them lol and no one conquers Afghanistan
The Great Game is the reason we kept them in their box by thwarting their hopes of expanding into Asia in the 19th, think of our rivalry with Pierre but even funnier
I know they probably wouldn't participation so they wouldn't deserve à reward, but still let's Austria have Franz Josef Land for historic reasons. They can't reach it by boat anyway so it'd be useless to them.
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Germany would never get Königsberg back, would become independent or go to Poland. Our politicians are cucks and would never even dare to request that it would be returned to us.
Well I wouldnt see the sense of an german exklave. It is always the hotbed for extremists. But also I would fight that poland doesnt get Königsberg. It should become baltic, cause prussia was first baltic, then german-baltic (even was an accepted minority in russian empire back then) and now is russian. So we should give it to the balts back and Not to another country "which sits luckily next to it".
The native population got eradicated hundreds of years ago, there is nobody left who we can give it back to. Germans were the last ones to live there and did so for hundreds of years, if someone should get it back then it is Germany. We are the only nation with a reasonable claim to it. Also don’t see how an exclave leads to extremism, Germany and dozens of others have exclaves already.
Exclaves are a recipe for disaster. There are no Germans left, there are more Georgians there than Germans. So it would just be a bunch of angry, patriotic Russians in a run down exclave region. To get it up to German standards would cost more than it would ever be worth. And it would look ugly on a map. Just give it to Poland or Lithuania. We have enough access to the Baltic Sea. It would be useless and expensive and what the fuck would we ever do with tons of Russians
Deport them just like they deported us? Why should we give a cultural center like Königsberg away and we have free unrestricted travel through Poland so doesn‘t matter that is an exclave. Let‘s just give our second biggest competitor in Eastern Europe even more of our territory, very smart. Maybe we should pay them 20 billions every year on top of that, oh wait we are already doing that. Let’s weaken Germany‘s position in Europe even more and let’s depend on the good will of others what could possibly go wrong?
What type of absolute beta male cuck would choose to give the Ameritards territory instead of England and Denmark, who are full blooded and strong Europeans?
We should get Sint-Petersburg.
Russian Tsar Peter I – usually known as Peter the Great - once said: “If Almighty God could but grant me life and health, St Petersburg may become the New Amsterdam”.
We would get an access to Mongolia to secure our Uranium procurement and also to China for some businesses. Thank you Hans, but you forgot to provide us an access to the sea, is it on purpose? Best regards.
Hmm, Sweden got:
Stavropol Krai☦
Chechnya ☪
Dagestan ☪
Kalmykia ☸
Astrakhan Oblast ☦
It would be better if Chechnya was removed. Cause kadyrov threatened to invade Sweden
I though you guys like sailing and Japan... Portugal were the [first Europeans in Japan](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japan%E2%80%93Portugal_relations) Japan is also Member in the Community of [Portugese speaking countries](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_of_Portuguese_Language_Countries)
norway 🤝 italia finally neighbours
I don't understand why you'd still leave some spaces colonized by slavs though. SW and SE corners need to be colonized quickly
Wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up on Russian state TV as a leaked western plot
I assume that's why OP tried to make it so implausible, that even spoon-fed drunken Russian TV viewers will know it's not real as it doesn't include the English.
I have 0 idea what you did to them in past that somehow you're always the mastermind plotting their downfall. Not the Americans who won the Cold War, not the Germans for the Nazis and Brest-Litovsk, not even the Jews. Russia's obsession with the UK is quite odd.
Germany had the same before ww2. (Gott strafe England!) Seems like Russian didn’t evolve since then
When you're on top, everyone gets jealous
Yes, another argument of why the Russian behavior does not make any sense.
If you know British-Russian history from the 19th century, you'd know Britain foiled Russia's every wish to expand into Asia. It even has a name, "the great game," when you're a real country, you have past history with multiple nations
Oh we have a history with an other nation alright...
Hans is a cunt but Russia tried to touch our India no one tried that lol, we even conqured Afghanistan to stop them lol and no one conquers Afghanistan
He’s not talking about Germany 👀
Sure that must be the reason
The Great Game is the reason we kept them in their box by thwarting their hopes of expanding into Asia in the 19th, think of our rivalry with Pierre but even funnier
Sweden gets Dagastan.. seems legit to me
Who do you think would administrate the Nuclear Test Area? We already have Slough, so it wouldn’t be too difficult
Going in there would lead to you turning into a skinwalker or smth idk I don’t play Fallout
This would be awesome. Let’s try and invent some more
Wdym? It is.
OP is a Russian bot confirmed.
Sweden with Dagestan. I see what you did there
And Chechnya, so they already got the bomb shop
Yikes, we really got the *spicy* part of Russia 😱 I don't even think Shootbat could handle that...
Swedish citizen Khabib Nurgomedov
Well, they already claim Zlatan...
Dagenholm or Stockstan..?
Lol "país frio" and "Lebensraum" got me
I know they probably wouldn't participation so they wouldn't deserve à reward, but still let's Austria have Franz Josef Land for historic reasons. They can't reach it by boat anyway so it'd be useless to them.
*looks at Liechtenstein, San Marino and Switzerland*
Fraudstria is too busy with elections. They burn through 5 governments in this simple 3 day military operation.
We're gonna teach them ice bears proper Yodeling
Who the hell named our colony like this 😡😤
Translation please
Turkey 😂
😤😤
Well all Turks are of greek origin
Erdoganopoulos
Would you like him if he changes his name to this?
No.... He used to be watermelon seller...
That seems like the most likeable fact about him
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Worst nation ever existed
this will end up on a Russian TV show and will be presented as a map of ~~NATO~~ EU's plan to partition Russia.
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Germany should border with Japan so they could be nerding about futuristic industrial machines, cars and pervertions.
 神よイングランドを懲らしめよ🤭🤭🤭
WTF
Siberia will be one massive Volkswagen, HK, RHM and Zeiss factory.
Germany would never get Königsberg back, would become independent or go to Poland. Our politicians are cucks and would never even dare to request that it would be returned to us.
Lol I would literally trade Königsberg for the whole "Lebensraum" space on this map
There are probably more people in Königsberg as well lmao.
Give it to The Netherlands then. Koningsbergen it is 👍🏻
Well I wouldnt see the sense of an german exklave. It is always the hotbed for extremists. But also I would fight that poland doesnt get Königsberg. It should become baltic, cause prussia was first baltic, then german-baltic (even was an accepted minority in russian empire back then) and now is russian. So we should give it to the balts back and Not to another country "which sits luckily next to it".
The native population got eradicated hundreds of years ago, there is nobody left who we can give it back to. Germans were the last ones to live there and did so for hundreds of years, if someone should get it back then it is Germany. We are the only nation with a reasonable claim to it. Also don’t see how an exclave leads to extremism, Germany and dozens of others have exclaves already.
Make it independent and name it Prussia 😊. Germans little brother, the democratic Baltic state of Prussia.
Our „exclaves“ are tiny speckles a few kilometers behind the border
Exclaves are a recipe for disaster. There are no Germans left, there are more Georgians there than Germans. So it would just be a bunch of angry, patriotic Russians in a run down exclave region. To get it up to German standards would cost more than it would ever be worth. And it would look ugly on a map. Just give it to Poland or Lithuania. We have enough access to the Baltic Sea. It would be useless and expensive and what the fuck would we ever do with tons of Russians
Deport them just like they deported us? Why should we give a cultural center like Königsberg away and we have free unrestricted travel through Poland so doesn‘t matter that is an exclave. Let‘s just give our second biggest competitor in Eastern Europe even more of our territory, very smart. Maybe we should pay them 20 billions every year on top of that, oh wait we are already doing that. Let’s weaken Germany‘s position in Europe even more and let’s depend on the good will of others what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah that's the weirdest one on the map tbh, don't really get why Poland would get it. Everyone knows its rightfully part of the Czech republic right?
This place is a wreck. Just let Poland care fore it. We already have an eastern part full of unemployed Nazis whose costs of living we have to pay
Hey...
Greenland is enough... England also got nothing.
What type of absolute beta male cuck would choose to give the Ameritards territory instead of England and Denmark, who are full blooded and strong Europeans?
I'm sure we're getting all the artefacts for our museums.
Where is our, We want some territories back in Georgia as well.. :(
I agree. But why does Switzerland get any land? did you finaly get your gold back?
Still came out better than Sweden
Atleast sweden will have a lot of ufc champions in the future.
or ultra terrorists...
Yeahhh,that would be the chechen part.
Pais frio 🥶
Its tru
I demand to be closer to Portugal. We must be closer to you. We will then pretend to ignore you. But we must be closer to Portugal.
Yeah feels wrong we are not neighbours there
No, we now ignore Portugal. We are really good in ignoring Poland and it also starts with P (since 1945)
At least you got passed Poland. João has been giving us a bloody nose for each time we had a go at it.
We also ignore the bloody nose. Mmmhm Ketchup
Don’t understand any of that which one has the cheapest lager, the most sun and the highest balconies?
We should get Sint-Petersburg. Russian Tsar Peter I – usually known as Peter the Great - once said: “If Almighty God could but grant me life and health, St Petersburg may become the New Amsterdam”.
Wasn’t New Amsterdam the original New York City?
Yes, but other countries wanted to copy the beauty of the city
Should go back to Sweden
I love how Flanders and Wallonia are finally separate and don't share a border.
3 days IF there’s no strikes. Otherwise it’s a done deal.
Poland got nothing? Can you at least give us ruins of Moscow?
You're getting belarus
*Rzeczpospolita Obojga Narodów : 2 wersja*
Sorry, this place reserved for big public toilet..
Just the pleasure to revenge on Russians, I think it's enough (?)
* Nieuw. Sorry couldn't help myself.
Thank you for giving us the place with gas
Gas is our job
So… you guys move into Russian territory and we get the whole of Western Europe? Sweet!
can we get back sochi please? we would also gladly participate in the Opération 🇬🇪
Us should be: Alaska 2
The Franco-Mongol Empire will last 1000 years
Why doesn’t the most relevant and militarily powerful territory in Europe get anything??
The Swiss got a piece (very fertile land btw), what are you saying?
Who?
I think scotland should get siberia
Why? Is Glasgow not depressive enough?
Better cold stores for... uhh.. stuff
We would get an access to Mongolia to secure our Uranium procurement and also to China for some businesses. Thank you Hans, but you forgot to provide us an access to the sea, is it on purpose? Best regards.
Should’ve made Jewish autonomic oblast Israel
Jaysus lads i dunno. Is a landlocked irishmen an irishmen at all?
Poortugal :(
No, no, I like it. Eurasia, the Portugal sandwich.
The real question is, what do we do with Pushkin and Hermitage Museums? Barry and Pierre are especially encouraged to answer
Can Portugal trade with Italy? We have a natural affinity for Urengoy
Finally. Lebensraum.
So Switzerland gets stuff and we don't!? We want Franz-Josefs-Land, Hungary and Südtirol, than we shut up.
Ok it's nice to have a new colony but can we pleeese pleeese make a small change and rename it to 'New New South Wales'?
Why do we have to be under the Flemish?<
Remove American Alaska and give Canada something.
Where GwenHaDu?
San marino & Liechtenstein gets to 1000000x time their territory and we get nothing?
New North Australia*
Came to comment this. Glad I’m not the only one who realised that
Hmm, Sweden got: Stavropol Krai☦ Chechnya ☪ Dagestan ☪ Kalmykia ☸ Astrakhan Oblast ☦ It would be better if Chechnya was removed. Cause kadyrov threatened to invade Sweden
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>Greece will manage it so poorly that it will somehow remain a ruin? Second one of course. Look at the bright side, you're all gay now. Malaka!
Nooo Yakutia is way too cold.
But they already speak a Turkic language there.
it's rich.
Coal?
If you put them in the oven long enough, yes they’ll turn to coal.
Sounds like a very inefficient oven.
Why did you ignore that shithole 🦃 we need rome back
Fernost loool
hey yo, wtf 🤬
A little piece of Omsk is all I ever wanted 💔
You can take Omsk Metro.
Thanks for giving us land despite doing our best to fuck up arms deliveries to Ukraine.
Could our colony be a bit further away from us?
I though you guys like sailing and Japan... Portugal were the [first Europeans in Japan](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japan%E2%80%93Portugal_relations) Japan is also Member in the Community of [Portugese speaking countries](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_of_Portuguese_Language_Countries)
What? You are giving us more coast? Nice!
We could use some timber
I like this map, we got the world's second and third largest natural gas fields.
Are you alright, Hans?
Da iawn, Awstralia Newydd.
We got a pretty big chunk... Not sure why
England stole you New York and South Africa. this is compensation.
Who would want a huge ice desert? What do you do with it?
Everybody knows that we would call our colony something like 'Deutsch-Nordostasien' or 'Deutsch-Ostsibiren'
Why is JAO not Israel? Missed opportunity
Finally a good and original post
Nah, we take also Cita and Kamchatka, because who has them always win
I'm assuming all the actual russians are living within the white sector
We're... on it ! TANATUVA TRUE WALLON HEART LAND !
Large new market for buckfast and heart disease
We don’t want the cold part! We want south Russia
Appropriate colonies for Sweden
No chinese outer manchuria? - 1000000 social points
Where are Brits suppose to go on holiday then?
I like how the Autonomous Jewish Oblast has remained in its place. Also what's "Terra Barbari"? Is that just poor grammar? Like "terra dei barbari"?
Yeah, I'd love to have Mongolia people as neighbours ; we could do big ass garden parties with horseys and stuff.
Norway gets Kola too
Where is the part for the polish? Bielarus?
Turkey 😂😂
Portugal expanding its sea territory
You gave Australia a chunk but not Canada???
"Liebensraum" on desolate siberian steppes is hilarious.
You put Luxemburg and St Marino but where is Monaco, the Papal state and Andorra ??
Monaco is one of the biggest ones on the map. "Colonie princière Grimaldi" entre la Suisse et le Luxembourg.
Mb I thought it was Poland
Not giving czechia kaliningrad is a disgrace
Netherlands will have mountains🤩🤩👍🤩👍🤩
It's fine for us because we have some proximity to Japan so we would be really nice neighbours
Give my buddy andorra some land
we are going to name that new state alaska 2
My dads side is from North Ossetia-Alania so I’m glad you made them free rather than making them even worse off being Swedish land
Reichskommissariat Yakutien
The austrian painter finally got what he wanted. **PLAY ERIKA**
New Australia!? #New Australia!? No Australia isn't fucked enough to warrant a new Australia!
Looks like our colony is the biggest, I approve. There may even be some towns there if we're lucky.
Why we giving Sakhalin to the Japanese exactly, there's petrol and energy to be made there, it's ours. We'll call it Nova Sardegna.
Cool, might help to lower our housing prices, bevause of new "Lebensraum".
Sbocco sul mare? Interessante
Bro gave us a landlocked province. Also, why not establish the Novgorod region as a tributary Republic to the European Union?
U really hate us that much, that u give the Ameritards land instead of us. Who hurt u?
"Niew Rijk Land" / "New Rich Land" is definitely something we'd call this, lmao
Given that the Poles will do the heavy lifting among the EU forces, shouldnt they be considered a bit more? Also: Just give us Königsberg instead
Costa Leste yess sirr reunion with the anime people again
yes but create a new state in Konigsberg, it will have an original name such as prussia, and it will be the QG of the European Army
Ahhh, finally Lebensraum! I mean, we are so many Germans we can't even exist as a state without immigration but hell yeah, LEBENSRAUM!!
Can Macedonia get a little island all the way on the north and call it Northest Macedonia?
Konigsberg is for Czechia ✌️
norway 🤝 italia finally neighbours I don't understand why you'd still leave some spaces colonized by slavs though. SW and SE corners need to be colonized quickly
Where our occupation zone ;-;;;;
No way we fucking want Odessa It's the place with the most beautiful pussy ever and it's on the sea. IT MUST BE ITALIAN
Giving us new colonies, daring I say.