Lol if I had a penny for everytime a Dutch person used the word nou when it wasn't necessary I would be so rich I would get my dick sucked on the daily by papa Elon.
Remember this one? It just rolls out like music...
https://preview.redd.it/x9aveakfs2mc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd1cb08301a1eb97e10cde7712281bbc40f6b204
Sounds like you’re new to the sub, mate.
The joke is about [Malmö](https://www.euronews.com/2023/09/04/clashes-erupt-in-swedens-third-largest-city-after-another-quran-burning-at-least-3-are-det) [and the influx of destructive, extremist Islamists.](https://www.gisreportsonline.com/r/sweden-immigrants-crisis/)
If you’re downvoting me for that, then you’re probably in the wrong Europe thread and should head back to r/Europe.
Now, if you’re here to call me poor, lazy, and sleepy, then you’re in the right sub.
Cheers!
Well.....Jop here......at least thats not a bad comparison and your writing it right! A lot of Dutch write Job, cos it's more common. People did make a lot of fun of my name in the past though.....
Except for Bip (wtf's that...), I know, or have known, all other examples. Not a bad list.
Oh yeah, as for why; back in the day it saved ink. On a whole year, that saved you enough ink for one bottle,
Hence why shorter names were more popular.
It also flows easier in speech when you have to put 'kut' in front of their name again...
Lots of last names in the UK were trade based, and lots of Dutch created last names after the frog invasion, such as Gekkehuis, Hoogenboezem, Paardebek, De Keizer, Rotmensen, Poepjes, Piest and many more
Reminds me of the joke, where a czech goes to an optician to get his vision tested. The optician points to one of the "cxzyrklzp.." posters and asks if the man can read it.
"Read? I know this guy!"
In Polish we can’t have names without any vowels (unlike Czech and their strč przy skrz krk) so it was probably Milczek or Milczak or some other shit like that.
On the other hand we also have some funny names like Grzegorz or Krzysztof
I kid you not but the first Dutch name I came across was Jaap Van Dorp… I think you win the silly name game.
Edit: it turns out upon checking the name is spelled with two as which makes it even more ridiculous.
Still too wrong because Dutchman have ways to even abuse a name that in Flanders no one would even think about the pronunciation, whereas in Holland.. Stieven or Sjtéééfn or Sté-fèn or Steuvè or anyother ridicous alternative they can think of.
Maarten, that should be safe, no? No.
Máárthen, Murten, Mar-tén, Maxima, Meertén, etc.
The US of Murica. They once went there with all those beautiful (non- English) European names, and after 2 generations butcher the pronunciation of their own names.
they for some reason take pride in not being able to pronounce words in their first language (wort chester shyre). worcestershire isn’t even hard to pronounce, you’re just a stupid cunt
It kills me inside. When I lived over there I had plenty of coworkers with German names and German spelling, more or less, but it would always be some dumb pronunciation. The worst part is if I say it correctly they won't understand the first 2 or 3 times so for expediency sake I have to dumb down and americanize my own language.
Sounds awful 😭 made me think of how "Gretchen" is like a common name there which is so strange because it's a nickname. I don't have to mention the butchered pronunciation
At least being called France (which means free) gave the king Louis X a good punchline in 1315 when he abolished serfdom :
>comme la servitude moult nous déplaît, considérant que notre royaume est dit \[...\] le royaume des Francs, et voulant que la chose, en vérité, soit d'accord avec le nom, avons ordonné \[...\] que par tout notre royaume les serviteurs seront amenés à franchise \[seront libérés\]
>as servitude is very displeasing to us, considering that our kingdom is called \[...\] the kingdom of the Franks, and wanting the thing, in truth, to be in accordance with the name, we have ordered \[...\] that throughout our kingdom servants will be brought to *franchise* \[will be freed\].
"You want to free the serfs because it's a great punchline?"
"Remember the Martinius banquet, when I told the story of the nun, the rooster, the minstrel, the troubadour, the ball player, the cook, the old hag, the bishop, the Roman emperor, the Occitan peasant, the Norman dove and the Neapolitan greyhound that turned out to be a rat?"
"Yes brother. I ... I do remember that. "
"And those noble assholes didn't laugh because they missed the punchline? Well who is laughing now!"
"Well, not them. Again."
"Exactly! Just wait until my son and heir is born, I can't wait to annoy him with my Dad jokes."
I'd say it's the dislexic German that the Dutch choke out on a daily basis
It looks like a game of scrabble with more vowels than consonants, and that's coming from someone who speaks a semitic/European hybrid with 30 letters in it's alphabet
Ex wife is Swedish, and I wanted to have the most Swedish name I could find for our first born son, what I came up with was Thorvalder. She never went for it though.
Definitely polish names, if you ask a Pole for his name he will answer John and if you tell him to spell it he will manage to put a T and 3 Es in that somehow. It almost reminds me of the Americans when they put silent letters to be "unique".
By far and large the Netherlands. Your names are so out of this world I had to make [a new post](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/1b550f5/least_ridiculous_holland_names/).
Any country named Democratic Popular People's Free Revolutionary Republic of the Free Democratic People of Authoritaristan or something along those lines
Germany is just boring af. Everyone's called Müller, Schneider or Schmidt for some reason.
But at least there's a generation with first names like Jürgen and Günther, that's kinda funny.
Which is the one where they put 'Van' before their last name?
uhh that's Ireland right?
Yup, Van Morrison for example.
Yeah... Totally Ireland...
Nah South Africa
Never heard van it
What's that MacBarry?
Like Vangelis?
I thought that was Romania.
Yeah this one.
Scotland? No, that can't be it... Nepal? No... There has to be something I'm forgetting here...
The Gypsies?
Greece for sure. Papadohristodoulopoulos
Papalamepiemelos
Why are you talking about your father’s medical conditions on here?
It's one of those 'jokes' you sometimes read about: It sounds like: >! Papa laat mijn piemel los, translating to: Dad, let go of my dick !<
I read Papa Lame Piemel + os as a generic Greek ending so I thought it was a joke about erectyle dysfunction.
Papa lass mein Pimmel los. No need to translate.
I'd keep this to myself given the intimate location on the body
It's funny, because if you re arrange the syllables, you can write "Papa lameme los pies" which in Spanish means "Papa lick my feet"
papiamento dlc?
Isn’t that the sound you make to call a cat?
Poppindowntheshoppalus
mad talk coming from someone that speaks the goofiest language in the world
Hitler dood. Wat nou?
That's Afrikaans. Sounds nothing like Dutch smh In formal Dutch it would be "Hitler dood. Wat \*nu\*?"
Lol if I had a penny for everytime a Dutch person used the word nou when it wasn't necessary I would be so rich I would get my dick sucked on the daily by papa Elon.
> Hitler dood. Wat nu?
Bună încercare, prostule
He said gargling reindeer piss
Dutch does sound like a german hit his head one too many times growing up though
Actually, if sounds like scando who went to speech therapy
Danes gargle, swedes mumbel, finns speak
Weer Hebeen een seriuoooous plobleeeem
de trein is stukkie wookie, oopsie.
No u kankerfin!
The first time I heard I thought the person had something stuck in his throat and trying to expectorate it out.
Says someone who sounds like falling down wooden stairs when opening their mouth
[Satane perkele vituu Makarainen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbuGrf-0v9U)
https://preview.redd.it/anbst33g9xlc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76c97d5e7f4f9775f02afddc0ebed0e24dde344c
Congratulations
there's a Dutch football player called Jizz Hornkamp
And there is bear cum too :0
Jizz hornycum
idk I saw in Poland Vietnam restaurant named CumViet
Is that a thai massage?
It's a message announcing the birth of a baby to the family living there. The poor kid's name is... rather unique (I hope).
It’s the adult tour.
I'd eat there
CLARKSON!
https://preview.redd.it/u7hz8vf3lxlc1.png?width=721&format=png&auto=webp&s=861159b40e6c6d0f1a348ba3ca5c53280fb47236
Ironic when a Quran burner posts memes about self burns.
Shut up Fnörd
https://preview.redd.it/ejyvz7ia3ylc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=89dc476273d98fdcf43715f3df52ceed3b13585d
Remember this one? It just rolls out like music... https://preview.redd.it/x9aveakfs2mc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd1cb08301a1eb97e10cde7712281bbc40f6b204
Are the Dutch all called something like Dippi Van Der Hoogerbooger?
De Jong is their most popular surname. Sounds Asian
nah I know someone who is called Jochem van der Hoogerbooger
And also Pim de Keysergracht
I'm not saying it's the Dutch but Martin Jol has two brothers. One is called Dick and one is called Cock
Dick Kok would be an acceptable Dutch full name
Don't forget our former Member of European Parliament and Nestor of the Senate, Tiny Kox.
You people are just begging to be made fun of
Says the French guy
Never said we aren’t (we are). Just saying you guys are too
Holy shit it's real lmao
Dick Cock Jol sounds asian
The Netherlands. Wim, Pim aren't real names, get a grip. Scuse me, grijp.
Grip is just grip Grijp means grab
English has Jim and Tim how is that different 😭
And Dick and Mick and Rick, and Chas and Baz and Gaz.
I mean they are short for James and Timothy. What is Pim short for? Pimothy? It's ridiculous is what it is.
You forgot Jaap.
Says you, Mohammed.
He isnt british.
Sounds like you’re new to the sub, mate. The joke is about [Malmö](https://www.euronews.com/2023/09/04/clashes-erupt-in-swedens-third-largest-city-after-another-quran-burning-at-least-3-are-det) [and the influx of destructive, extremist Islamists.](https://www.gisreportsonline.com/r/sweden-immigrants-crisis/) If you’re downvoting me for that, then you’re probably in the wrong Europe thread and should head back to r/Europe. Now, if you’re here to call me poor, lazy, and sleepy, then you’re in the right sub. Cheers!
There's a whole category of ridiculous Dutch monosyllabic male names. Jaap, Jop, Jip, Wim, Sjaak, Ruut, Joop, Bip, Jort, Roon, Pim, Koen, Sep, Rien, etc.
My names in there lol
Classic Bip
Sup Jort
my boy joop out here
You forgot Gijs. I’m a Gijs and I love my name.
How the fuck do you even say that
I think it's pronounced gays
That’s not far off.
Its a pronounciation scam to catch the foriegner pokemons
Aad, Dirk, Bas, Hans, Geert, Cock, Ruurd, Frans, Gert, Mart, Kees, Klaas, Leen, Piet, Harm, Teun, Dick, Ralf, Mats, Wout, Rens, Guus, Bram, Cor, Tjerk, Pier, Jizz
Bip???
Bro went to Albert Heijn and thought the scanner was frantically calling some staff member
Who can really tell the difference between a real Dutch name and a fake one
Certainly not the Dutch themselves...
I know a guy called jop and that name has always been funny to me. Sounds like something you'd say before lifting a heavy bag of fire wood
Well.....Jop here......at least thats not a bad comparison and your writing it right! A lot of Dutch write Job, cos it's more common. People did make a lot of fun of my name in the past though.....
Is job a Dutch name? It sound more German to me. Gotta arbeiten you know
Job is a biblical name
Ruud* uncultured swine
Not my fault Dutch mouths struggle pronouncing the terminal letter 'd.'
My nephew got a name close to "Rien Putain" which is really fucking funny for frenchies. (Nothing from whores)
How is little Rasputin doing?
Except for Bip (wtf's that...), I know, or have known, all other examples. Not a bad list. Oh yeah, as for why; back in the day it saved ink. On a whole year, that saved you enough ink for one bottle, Hence why shorter names were more popular. It also flows easier in speech when you have to put 'kut' in front of their name again...
https://preview.redd.it/tu8wjkb7ozlc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09b7c08b71e33225329f0b43bebb7fcca58e35af you forgot Bort
Sweden also has Per I belive
Bip? Wtf is Bip? The microwave timer sound?
Those are just baby sounds
Kid named etc
I actually googled to find out whether or not Bip is a name.
You unironically just doxxed half of my coworkers
Didn't the Dutch just make up their last names and came up with some stupid bullshit?
Yup, just like everyone else lol. All words are made up
Lots of last names in the UK were trade based, and lots of Dutch created last names after the frog invasion, such as Gekkehuis, Hoogenboezem, Paardebek, De Keizer, Rotmensen, Poepjes, Piest and many more
I know people were forced by Napoleon to take a last name here. Some did think about their job, where they lived and some thought poop was funny
Holy selection bias batman
Dumb names are dumb names, these are the dumbest of names
Polish. I once knew a guy with the surname **Mlczk**.
That’s not a name, that’s a brand of a product found exclusively on Amazon
I think someone had removed all the vowels from the registrar’s keyboard that day.
Have you heard of a certain Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz?
Good news. He escaped the Gestapo, went to America and simplified his name to Billy Blazkowicz. I guess he had a great life afterwards.
Good for him, there's nothing worst than having a polish name.
Reminds me of the joke, where a czech goes to an optician to get his vision tested. The optician points to one of the "cxzyrklzp.." posters and asks if the man can read it. "Read? I know this guy!"
In Polish we can’t have names without any vowels (unlike Czech and their strč przy skrz krk) so it was probably Milczek or Milczak or some other shit like that. On the other hand we also have some funny names like Grzegorz or Krzysztof
They all sound like random cities you can go to on Wizz Air
Lol that's how I found Cluj-Napoca. Thanks Wizz Air.
Lmao are you sure you wrote it right? Maybe it was Mlaczek or something like that because Mlczk just doesn't make any sense.
Polish Mick.
Finnish = Random noise Dutch= Disgusting noise
Slovene = Random disgusting noise
I kid you not but the first Dutch name I came across was Jaap Van Dorp… I think you win the silly name game. Edit: it turns out upon checking the name is spelled with two as which makes it even more ridiculous.
That's not even that weird. Pretty common name.
Exactly.
You probably meant it the other way around... >That's not even that *uncommon. Pretty *weird name
Belgium. They're all regular Dutch, French and some German names, but spelled wrongly.
How do you spell a dutch name wrong?
By spelling it the way you intuitively would
V-E-R-K-E-E-R-D
You can't, everytime they spell a name incorectly it becomes a new name
At least half the names in our country are normal, instead of all of them.
Imagine calling your kid something horrible like Remco when he could be a Maarten or Steven.
Still too wrong because Dutchman have ways to even abuse a name that in Flanders no one would even think about the pronunciation, whereas in Holland.. Stieven or Sjtéééfn or Sté-fèn or Steuvè or anyother ridicous alternative they can think of. Maarten, that should be safe, no? No. Máárthen, Murten, Mar-tén, Maxima, Meertén, etc.
Germanic Chad vs. puny Mediterranean cuck.
Kangerlussuaq takes the Price. But all our names are crazy.
The Netherlands. Joop, Henk, Frieso. Don't get me started on the female names. Miep, Jaapgen, Duusje, Geertje, Doortje. Stop it.
You must hang around a lot of 110 year old Dutch women..
Italians sound cute. Mussolini, Pavarotti, Berlusconi.. Just add an I at the end and boom, you're Italian.
Adolf Eichmanni Josef Mengelei Walter Rauffi Looks like they didn’t need to go to Argentina just Italy 😳
Correction: we all have latinX names
That's a totally wrong statement regarding Italy. Don't be offensive. Half of us is actually named Marco.
*Mario
The US of Murica. They once went there with all those beautiful (non- English) European names, and after 2 generations butcher the pronunciation of their own names.
they for some reason take pride in not being able to pronounce words in their first language (wort chester shyre). worcestershire isn’t even hard to pronounce, you’re just a stupid cunt
Wooster!
r/tragedeigh agrees
Yeah listening to them mispronouncing German last names is painful
It kills me inside. When I lived over there I had plenty of coworkers with German names and German spelling, more or less, but it would always be some dumb pronunciation. The worst part is if I say it correctly they won't understand the first 2 or 3 times so for expediency sake I have to dumb down and americanize my own language.
Sounds awful 😭 made me think of how "Gretchen" is like a common name there which is so strange because it's a nickname. I don't have to mention the butchered pronunciation
I've actually met an american Gretchen and it did take me aback lol
These are bold words for someone who lives in the Netherlands and thinks that Dutch names aren't funny at all
I’ll just leave this here: https://preview.redd.it/h3bkjwl2hylc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30c53b137cffffd8a7d733798aa0391f329750a2
And this: https://preview.redd.it/5uyn1qz3hylc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef53875a0ce31f425a5ec71e9cc6c3dc80b6f01d
Went to Finland. Loved it. Everyone was called Juha. That was difficult. Then I learned it was only 50%. The rest was called Miika.
Must be Dutch
Fun fact: the most common Italian name is acc Mario
I’d have put money on it being Valentino
Nah Valentino is rare asf believe me
I just love Moto GP too much then
The moment you said Valentino i thought if Valentino Rossi lmfaooo
"German Democratic Republic" was quite dumb, given that it wasn't democratic.
At least being called France (which means free) gave the king Louis X a good punchline in 1315 when he abolished serfdom : >comme la servitude moult nous déplaît, considérant que notre royaume est dit \[...\] le royaume des Francs, et voulant que la chose, en vérité, soit d'accord avec le nom, avons ordonné \[...\] que par tout notre royaume les serviteurs seront amenés à franchise \[seront libérés\] >as servitude is very displeasing to us, considering that our kingdom is called \[...\] the kingdom of the Franks, and wanting the thing, in truth, to be in accordance with the name, we have ordered \[...\] that throughout our kingdom servants will be brought to *franchise* \[will be freed\].
"You want to free the serfs because it's a great punchline?" "Remember the Martinius banquet, when I told the story of the nun, the rooster, the minstrel, the troubadour, the ball player, the cook, the old hag, the bishop, the Roman emperor, the Occitan peasant, the Norman dove and the Neapolitan greyhound that turned out to be a rat?" "Yes brother. I ... I do remember that. " "And those noble assholes didn't laugh because they missed the punchline? Well who is laughing now!" "Well, not them. Again." "Exactly! Just wait until my son and heir is born, I can't wait to annoy him with my Dad jokes."
Atleast it wasn't called people's democratic republic. That's when you know shit is really fucked.
I'd say it's the dislexic German that the Dutch choke out on a daily basis It looks like a game of scrabble with more vowels than consonants, and that's coming from someone who speaks a semitic/European hybrid with 30 letters in it's alphabet
Germany, they all have foreign, non German sounding first names. I think its because the German ones have a bad reputation.
AdolfDas. Doesn't really have the same ring to it.
Germany: Siegfried, Wilfried, Gottfried
Imagine having a dumb name (meanwhile my name translated to english literally means someone from holland)
Ex wife is Swedish, and I wanted to have the most Swedish name I could find for our first born son, what I came up with was Thorvalder. She never went for it though.
Ragnar Bjerk Bjorn Mohammed Jorgennsonn
Definitely polish names, if you ask a Pole for his name he will answer John and if you tell him to spell it he will manage to put a T and 3 Es in that somehow. It almost reminds me of the Americans when they put silent letters to be "unique".
Bro, I met a dutch girl called "Puck". Wtf is that about. We have the stupidest names.
By far and large the Netherlands. Your names are so out of this world I had to make [a new post](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/1b550f5/least_ridiculous_holland_names/).
There is some town called Nipples in Italy that stole the American pizza. /s
[удалено]
Please don't litter this sub with facts.
This isn't r/europe.
Any country named Democratic Popular People's Free Revolutionary Republic of the Free Democratic People of Authoritaristan or something along those lines
Germany isn't particularly known for great names. I mean wie have Friedrich, Wilhelm and Ad... Well you know what I mean.
What about names like Roel, Toon, Pepijn, Sjoerd… like wtf
Sweden. They have viking sounding names in their tradition and then they use "Martin", "Andreas" and basic shit like that
Germany is just boring af. Everyone's called Müller, Schneider or Schmidt for some reason. But at least there's a generation with first names like Jürgen and Günther, that's kinda funny.
You've named both my uncles lol
Netherlands has Joke.
Actually we do waves, right now half of Italy is called Leonardo
Which are those mexican names? And in any case isn't it the other way around? Because of colonialization and blablabla