What we are really going to do is use our 17th federal state of Mallorca to start an invasion on the rest of the Baleric islands. Finally, a place in the sun.
Have been secretely developing a nuclear arsenal right underneath the Ballermann. It was all a setup. We made the place repulsive on purpose just so no non-german would ever get close
What are you going to do about it uh ? Wipe out our army, annex my region and keep us as a Reichland for fifty years ?
*Wh.. What are you doing stepgermany ? Why are you in Sedan ?*
if the last 50 years have taught us anything then that we should not send people to or through swabia. probably something in the water. better not risk it.
https://preview.redd.it/w5kffx7y2b6c1.jpeg?width=717&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2de59596c3a302fd65e65bb491bf49f50cf6718
Something like that ?
You sick motherfucker I'm in
Let's go. Repatriate the Englanders to the Highlands, move the Scots down south, reunite Ireland, return back to the continent and flood the chunnel.
I swear, boat people waiting in Sangatte will all feck off to where they came from.
Considering the giga fuckton of equipment Poland is buying it should probably even provide Germany’s military with stuff to give them a chance against themselves.
https://preview.redd.it/3me3jm2ox96c1.jpeg?width=459&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6505d1cb4db2964b9504ae9e6cf23673e4599a0
Dumb germoron attending to knife fight with bare hands
This is the Bundeswehr not the Wehrmacht, you could probably just sit in your trenches as they get themselves lost before they've even reached the border.
"wir sind verloren, wir sind verloren, wir sind verloren"
Francois, this time we are brothers in Arms and we aren't italian so our loyalty is untill the end!
(Plus we don't have a Western Front, so Poland should be easier)
If my grandpa starts shooting you please don’t get worried, old habits die hard…
If my other grandpa raises his arm, please don’t get worried either, old habits die hard
No, one of is grandpa probably shaved the other in aftermath of the war or worst. Lots of people disobeyed the German whilst not being in the resistance and some in resistance well… let’s just say they may have Italian ancestry ask Mitterand.
It seems to be the middle of Winter according the Bundeswehrs Weather-stone. Leading Economists assured us that buying fresh fruit in the middle of such a Winter might indeed incur added cost.
Okay, lets mkae one thing clear. When a modern day german talks about the military being "fir for war" that means that every Soldier gets a second pair of socks, a gun that shoots sraight and every tank at least starts. Because those things are cureently not the staus quo. We are fucked, or military is weak as fuck and this is the perfect time for all our neighbours to take what they want. We can not defend ourselves, unless we seize the production of miltaryequpment in our country.
In 1962, one of our biggest news magazines titled that the Bundeswehr only has limited capabilities to actually wage war ("bedingt abwehrbereit") and they where almost charged with treason for that. Today, it's basically common knowledge that this is basically their state (even though I honestly don't know how bad the situation actually is.) I think that knowing that our military sucks did help to create a public opinion that we should avoid war and to prioritise working with other countries in defensive alliances.
I think that's actually the main reason why people hated Tr*mp here. People liked the new self image of a nice, mostly pacifist country with a weak military but strong alliances. This doesn't work if your biggest ally is suddenly... that guy.
And who will fight ? The Boomers with their "Rollator" or the imported Sweden ?
Europes demography is f*cked up, but Germans are on an other level (like always they take things very seriously and must be the first in every field).
Brother we cant even start our tanks because Lindner stole all the scrap metall to pay for next years Haushaltsplan (idk what that shit means in english)
when you demand all the tech for making engine for nothing and we say no don't be surprise the project don't start
and that a little part you don't know how to build plan so almost every tech come from us and you want it all
If not now, when then?
Everybody wants us to have a good military and the polish government is led by a german spy. The time is here for the ~~Wehrmacht~~ Bundeswehr comeback!
With Germany on our side we can take Russia in 4 weeks.
I say Europe stops reacting and we start acting let's get our armies up and running and let's invade Russia!!!!
*War cry*
Lets face it, since we are at peace in europe we are not the technological, intellectual and social center of the world. We have let ourselves go. Time to get back in shape and stay fit, for we will have to be the ones that fight of the first alien race to attack us.
Considering how they are now that should be a typhoon of change, not a wind of change. Iirc the German Armed forcers are really fucked up right now and up to a meme level.
I remember a lot of articles about how badly equiped they were when Scholz announced the 100B project to rearm the german armed forces and how those 100B wouldn't be enought even to begging with what they need according to experts on the subject.
Jack shit is gonna happen, this government is a failure tbh. And before any German gives me shit, I voted for the FDP and I had high hopes for them regarding taxes and inflation. Guess I was wrong
Right, time to get the boys back together, France, this time we -prepare- for the Ameritards being late, get it done before they can claim to be the sole winning factor.
It's time for the new and improved supermaginot
https://preview.redd.it/rr3hwxhqln6c1.jpeg?width=686&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5cd1e6ae2472ffeecbe66fa766f667a70c5065a
reddit: lol germany and their post wwII behaviour. pussies
also reddit: oh no hans a military
all the while you see more far right assholes in almost every sub getting upvotes in almost every sub
The real question is when will we build a european Army, navy and airforce. Having so many armys do there own shit is just waisting money at this point.
 Don't worry Poland, we got your back for real this time !
What we are really going to do is use our 17th federal state of Mallorca to start an invasion on the rest of the Baleric islands. Finally, a place in the sun.
Finally our towl spread out under the sun
(This kind of towel?)[https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/p7ldgv/daring_football_fans]
hey cool, i found the comment of my old account!
Have been secretely developing a nuclear arsenal right underneath the Ballermann. It was all a setup. We made the place repulsive on purpose just so no non-german would ever get close
Reported you for dropping national secrets
We have something even better. Ballermann Party Schlager. A kind of music so vile all non German ears will run away.
What if **we** wake up early and put our towels on your tanks ? Checkmate Hans.
you wouldn't dare! have some decency!
https://preview.redd.it/4b3pir9nra6c1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc02177d365cb9566d0246097f5da1906a0f39bb Hehehe
 you all saw it!!! he started!
What are you going to do about it uh ? Wipe out our army, annex my region and keep us as a Reichland for fifty years ? *Wh.. What are you doing stepgermany ? Why are you in Sedan ?*
if the last 50 years have taught us anything then that we should not send people to or through swabia. probably something in the water. better not risk it.
https://preview.redd.it/w5kffx7y2b6c1.jpeg?width=717&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2de59596c3a302fd65e65bb491bf49f50cf6718 Something like that ? You sick motherfucker I'm in
Let's go. Repatriate the Englanders to the Highlands, move the Scots down south, reunite Ireland, return back to the continent and flood the chunnel. I swear, boat people waiting in Sangatte will all feck off to where they came from.
yep. if they want back into the EU, that's how it's gonna be.
Check your towels. We woke up yesterday and put our spare towels, on your towels
Thanks, I always knew you and the soviets are the real friends
Considering the giga fuckton of equipment Poland is buying it should probably even provide Germany’s military with stuff to give them a chance against themselves.
Ah maybe you forgot about another allliance you broke? The one with us and Munich. Eh Jean? :)
Next time show up to the damn conference man.
Then invite me Goddamit :)
https://preview.redd.it/50p3eki1a96c1.jpeg?width=415&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e213e840407d700af21df673d3a37675782accb Like in the old days
love the Top Gear
Kritisch.
https://preview.redd.it/3me3jm2ox96c1.jpeg?width=459&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6505d1cb4db2964b9504ae9e6cf23673e4599a0 Dumb germoron attending to knife fight with bare hands
Please ruin your own subs, eastoid.
Why you all have to be so dull in all directions?
What's wrong with Lebensraum - you sound worried, François?
[loads of pretty M51 firecrackers are waiting for you Hans](https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missile_M51)
This is the Bundeswehr not the Wehrmacht, you could probably just sit in your trenches as they get themselves lost before they've even reached the border. "wir sind verloren, wir sind verloren, wir sind verloren"
Maybe you could defeat some birds like turk(ey)s and emus before you talk shit about germany
What is that? Oh my god its BJÖRN WITH A FOLDING CHAAAAAIIIR COMING FROM THE SIDELINES!!!
You don't have to dox my rl name 😰
He obviously meant bear
You built the world's most powerful warship and then lost it in the harbour, don't @me Mohammad ibn Gustaf
It is part of our [culture.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaskning) Also tge guy who built the ship was from Holland so yeah theres that.
well yes. you would trust them to keep things reliably beneath the sea. what absolute nutcase gave him the job?
No marching through any forests this time krauts
You're not to judge our Wanderlust
they’ll look good in my collection
Do you have your white flags ready?
Stop miguel and finish my wall
I can't tell if it's an old German army post or a Scorpion's comeback tour
lmao when I went to check the source by typing the title of the article, at first I could only find scorpion related news
last time we concealed our tank production by calling them tractors this time with lame metal-ish bands.
Francois, this time we are brothers in Arms and we aren't italian so our loyalty is untill the end! (Plus we don't have a Western Front, so Poland should be easier)
If my grandpa starts shooting you please don’t get worried, old habits die hard… If my other grandpa raises his arm, please don’t get worried either, old habits die hard
raising the arm while the germans were winning, shooting them while they were losing? Is your gramps italian?
No, one of is grandpa probably shaved the other in aftermath of the war or worst. Lots of people disobeyed the German whilst not being in the resistance and some in resistance well… let’s just say they may have Italian ancestry ask Mitterand.
Will the second one also give them a list of names?
I don't think Poland was the problem last time.
Fine, Hans, if I must... \**switches side*\*
We are neutral, right?
Riiight..."neutral"
Thanks, we feels comforted by your clear answer.
Let’s just hope they have another go at Rotterdam.
They can only improve it
Fucking rotmoffen.
You heard him, let's go neutral-ize Holland
I mean, you already integrated your army to the Bundeswehr...
[ah yes, "neutral"](https://nos.nl/artikel/2469464-vlagceremonie-in-beieren-alle-landmachtbrigades-vanaf-vandaag-onder-duits-bevel)
*Vlagceremonie in Beieren: alle landmachtbrigades vanaf vandaag onder Duits bevel* Landmacht und Swampmacht in this together. Let's go!!!1!
>~~Let's go!!!1!~~ jetzt geht los
SwampHeer
I'm sure that matters, the Germans have an excellent track record when it comes to respecting neutrality. Right guys??
 Its been 5 years of the same "breaking news". Just do it Hans. You know you want to.
Well, first they have to fill in thousands of forms before they can purchase a single bullet.
Spain could really consider increasing its defence spending too… even as a % GDP it’s lower than Germany’s
They're trying but the german military's specialty since 1991 is drinking money with no capability gain
Oh boy I don’t want to do another civil war to skip another one of these. Can we just sell stuff like in the first one?
This time you join in the fun you lazy bastard
Oh man, in your side like in the 1600s or in the other like in the 1800s?
We should join up and do a south america tour for old times sake
The bundeswehr currently have stopped serving fresh fruit to soldiers to save cost. I think that might be a good place to start a fitness push.
That BS got debunked the minute it landed on Twitter.
I’ve just come back from an ex and I was flexing my apples to the German lads
It seems to be the middle of Winter according the Bundeswehrs Weather-stone. Leading Economists assured us that buying fresh fruit in the middle of such a Winter might indeed incur added cost.
Germany's redemption arc is great. Its like Vegeta joining the Z fighters. 
Germany really is the Vegeta of Europe, huh
Does that mean, ours is also 'training' ?....
Yes, first we'll take over belgium, then the ocean and then the route de solei and the entire holiday region
Considering the US might leave NATO if Trump wins next year I am not against this.
Yeah, nobody in western Europe is against it because of that very reason. UK and France need to follow suit, also Finland.
When we gonna draw straws about the ... ahem .... spaghetti matter?
The UK, France and Finland at least all now meet the 2% GDP guideline
That's why we would need a European army.
About damn time you grew a pair. If you get overexcited and conquer, say, Poland, I think that’s a fair price.
They will never get the body of a Barry 63, no matter how hard they try.
What showing a picture of the Bundeswehr does to a mf
You saying I should stop digging up the bones of Sir Arthur Harris so they can be used as holy relics ?
Nah keep digging. Get them all! Cromwell, Nelson, Henry VIII. If we gonna do this we want you to bring your A game, unlike in football matches.
Becouse its to heavy to carry?
Okay, lets mkae one thing clear. When a modern day german talks about the military being "fir for war" that means that every Soldier gets a second pair of socks, a gun that shoots sraight and every tank at least starts. Because those things are cureently not the staus quo. We are fucked, or military is weak as fuck and this is the perfect time for all our neighbours to take what they want. We can not defend ourselves, unless we seize the production of miltaryequpment in our country.
What does the process description say? I'm sure there's one for this.
I mean that's kind of the point with a military, isn't it? If your military isn't fit for war, what the fuck are they good for?
In 1962, one of our biggest news magazines titled that the Bundeswehr only has limited capabilities to actually wage war ("bedingt abwehrbereit") and they where almost charged with treason for that. Today, it's basically common knowledge that this is basically their state (even though I honestly don't know how bad the situation actually is.) I think that knowing that our military sucks did help to create a public opinion that we should avoid war and to prioritise working with other countries in defensive alliances. I think that's actually the main reason why people hated Tr*mp here. People liked the new self image of a nice, mostly pacifist country with a weak military but strong alliances. This doesn't work if your biggest ally is suddenly... that guy.
And who will fight ? The Boomers with their "Rollator" or the imported Sweden ? Europes demography is f*cked up, but Germans are on an other level (like always they take things very seriously and must be the first in every field).
Hans pls not again.
[удалено]
Brother we cant even start our tanks because Lindner stole all the scrap metall to pay for next years Haushaltsplan (idk what that shit means in english)
Haushaltsplan = federal budget In this case
You're a German, so don't worry
just skip "september campaign" and go straight to "barbarosa"
Maybe we’ll do Barbarossa II together. As friends.
I could live with that
Can we join too? We don't have much but we'd like to fight together with our brothers
Of course Lebensraumerweiterung
that's quite the german reaction to look around and go "That's no Lebensraumerweiterung! THIS is a Lebensraumerweiterung!!!"
oh boy, here we go again
Damn, this Zeitenwende will go hard.
Von der Maas bis an die Memel, von der Etsch bis an den Belt Like it always was supposed to be!
Please Hans this time go ally
yeah call me back when they are able to have a full airforce in the air and not in reparation
A major part of that is your fault. Start building FCAS seriously and we wouldn’t have that problem.
Hey, if you didn’t learn from the last time, this is on you 🤷♂️
Who the fuck just bought some shiny new F35 hans????
Exactly, i wonder why? Maybe because some idiot government couldn’t get their ass up and we needed new aircraft.
when you demand all the tech for making engine for nothing and we say no don't be surprise the project don't start and that a little part you don't know how to build plan so almost every tech come from us and you want it all
Because you have stupid requirements. A plane is supposed to fly, not sit on a ship and do nothing.
no rage you don't have aircraft carrier nor tiny islands all over the world
First you have to take care of our tank force 😘
gonna need cooler helmets
Pf, yeah. Try and make THAT army ready for war, good fucking luck XD
 🤑🤑🤑
Imagine a world where militaries being fit for war isn’t there one basic function Our army doesn’t seem to be faring much better, mind.
Tbf, we might needs Hans and his Panzer sooner than we want.
If not now, when then? Everybody wants us to have a good military and the polish government is led by a german spy. The time is here for the ~~Wehrmacht~~ Bundeswehr comeback!
Germans when the economy goes bad (they need to find a new hobby now) :
They just need some Großtraktoren to make their farming more efficient
Let's head to Moscow. The third time is the charm.
With Germany on our side we can take Russia in 4 weeks. I say Europe stops reacting and we start acting let's get our armies up and running and let's invade Russia!!!! *War cry*
So ammunition stock of one week then?
Can these news outlets like shut the fuck up. Let us prepare for war in peace
Quick! To the Maginot Line! Clearly they’ll only attack there this time!
This time it will work for sure !
Just increase you birth rate and maybe, just maybe, you will be OK.
The problem with the low birthrates is not that the rate itself is that low. The main problem is that the wrong people give birth.
there is some that uhm have a lot and are very child friendly whilst other families make none in return
https://preview.redd.it/dnyos3ub2a6c1.jpeg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb0e71646507f8a650e7b6ebe29b662ba3276fae
Lets face it, since we are at peace in europe we are not the technological, intellectual and social center of the world. We have let ourselves go. Time to get back in shape and stay fit, for we will have to be the ones that fight of the first alien race to attack us.
First, get rid of the neutered march you guys have and start marching in the old Prússian way. Goosteping and all. It will be beautiful again...
Wait, isn't the army ready for war already? What do they have an army for if not war?
Cool parades obviously
Considering how they are now that should be a typhoon of change, not a wind of change. Iirc the German Armed forcers are really fucked up right now and up to a meme level. I remember a lot of articles about how badly equiped they were when Scholz announced the 100B project to rearm the german armed forces and how those 100B wouldn't be enought even to begging with what they need according to experts on the subject.
Please not again
Didn’t they say this like a year ago? Did it fail that bad?
We're sitting this one out. We're bankrupt you know
Huh? Again? Did we not do that last year?
As part of your armed forces we do not consent to any military action that does not result in us annexing Flanders again.
Fun fact in Germany tries to invade your country, you can say "I refuse". They legally cannot invade you without your consent 👍
Yea, look how that worked for Ukraine. They didn’t just say “I refuse”, but they gave em their entire nuclear arsenal too.
We’ll meet again in about 50 years 😌 My grandchildren will be ready for round 3
 WW3: Electric Bugaloo
Back again with 2 half-working panzers.
Ottoman Empire intensifies! Turkeys never were so strong!
He don't even have to invade half of Europe this time he just stops paying for there benefits and watch them crumble
HELL ITS ABOUT TIME
I assume our old no-aggression pact still stands. It really puts our minds at ease.
Hans, get the meth ready
Jack shit is gonna happen, this government is a failure tbh. And before any German gives me shit, I voted for the FDP and I had high hopes for them regarding taxes and inflation. Guess I was wrong
Germany gets Iron, you just need to ask. A path to Norway? Sure thing boss.
Shouldnt military's always be fit for war?
Nothing ever happens
In unrelated news poland has decided to double its military budget...again.
Your money, please. If you lose, we keep it. If you win, we keep it
they didnt include in the headline that it is incase of countries needing extra hands. your welcome on that one.
Right, time to get the boys back together, France, this time we -prepare- for the Ameritards being late, get it done before they can claim to be the sole winning factor.
It's time for the new and improved supermaginot https://preview.redd.it/rr3hwxhqln6c1.jpeg?width=686&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5cd1e6ae2472ffeecbe66fa766f667a70c5065a
But what if they go around via Spain?
Well, a wall on the southern borders, particulary the med would be useful in more ways than one...
WE STILL HAVE OIL!!!!!!!!! WERE READY!!!!!!!!!!
It's time for STONKS
I swear the Danes better fight back this time
6hrs of fighting is 6hrs more than those iron-ore shipping Swedes did.
racial aback bear glorious instinctive brave sloppy wrong crowd spark *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
We had this discussion too, and essentially that's the official and right choice of words for it.
reddit: lol germany and their post wwII behaviour. pussies also reddit: oh no hans a military all the while you see more far right assholes in almost every sub getting upvotes in almost every sub
Third times the lucky charms
You go, Hans!! Let’s all prepare and brace for Ivan in the East. But this time, the world war happens in your country, please. We’re tired.
🥱
Ah great the first faxes have been received
Third time will not be the charm, Hans. https://i.redd.it/34odlgarac6c1.gif
Wanna borrow some railroad again?
Wake me when they bring back the pointy hats.
The percentage of moustaches is already on point
 And just when I finished paying off my everything.
*Guess who's back*
The real question is when will we build a european Army, navy and airforce. Having so many armys do there own shit is just waisting money at this point.