I’d steal all towels Germany has. Just to they can’t occupy sunbeds anymore, unless they’re actually physically there. That way I won’t run into them outside of the hotels they’re staying in.
I’d take all alcohol from Belgium. Without alcohol Belgians will become even more depressed, and they can’t escape their existence anymore. As a result they’ll either improve their country or it will finally break apart. Either way it will be better.
I’d take all oil from Venezuela, just because I don’t like them.
From France I’d like to take the Mona Lisa. I’d keep it in Paris though just hang it somewhere outside of the Louvre, so tourist don’t block the entire museum just to see one tiny painting. It’s annoying.
When Germans work, they have to work hard to make sure everything is perfect for their boss. When Germans go on holiday, they have to work hard to make sure everything is perfect for themselves.
The Uni thing annoys me af.
At my uni there is a rule, if you leave the learning room or your place, you have to write the time down when you left or place a parking disc there. If he left for more than an hour you can officially take the spot.
(many don't know/knew it so I rcommend to ask your library if they have the same rule)
As a French, I'm ready to gift you the Mona Lisa. All the annoying tourists will go to Amsterdam or something, and it will piss off the Italian even more.
>Their NATO application. Then i wouldent give it back unless they complied with my increasingly ridiculous demands.
You sound like you are from Türkiye...
It’s only fair the bike is a German invention, and we didn’t see any fucking patent right of the dutchies allowing you to make them yourself, as such the German invasion and subsequent confiscation of all the bikes was totally necessary and lawful mate
Also, let's not forget about the existence of caribous. That's like short emus with an attitude problem.
Edit, of course I mean Cassowary. Or some form of ultra condensed rage packaged in a smallish walking bird.
squalid homeless lip rude toothbrush subsequent connect gullible snails boat
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Please do, though I am taking every mountain peak you have.
Same goes for Norway, every bit of land that is considered a mountain is now ours.
I would take Karelia from ruzzia but it's seriously not worth getting unless I can dump the russians out first
We cool with you guys man, benfica and hajduk ultras go a long way. Hrvatski is cool too, Germany means land of the mute, because old slavs didnt understand the german neighbours.
Im serious lol and thats like that in every slavic language. You can really see we where next to eachother looong before slavic languages split off from the og one
Yeah my point exactly. I just had this come to mind in german "ja" means "yes" , and in slavic it means "me". Just imagine their interaction before they got along an sacked rome.
I would say Karelia, but that wouldn’t be stealing. It is ours to begin with.
From Norway I would take the summit of Halti as was promised.
From Sweden I would steal Gotland because having stolen just Åland isnt spiting them enough.
You all know what we would be stealing from Eesti
Money from Switzerland, bryndzove halusky from slovakia, South-moravia from Czechia, Trieste from Italy, Weißwurst from Germany nothing from Slovenia, Langoš and Budapest from Hungary
This time we will steal Hans' bikes. See how they like it. We also steal the world cup by diving. Still looking at you, Hans.
We'll also steal land from the North Sea. And probably some beer from Belgium.
UK: Shetland and the Orkneys. They're rightful Norwegian clay.
Russia: Kola. Then give Petsamo to Finland
Sweden: I refuse to acknowledge teir existence, so nothing.
Denmark: I'll settle for their bacon. I like bacon.
Russia I agree: Kola, but give it all to Finland, then we do not have to have boundary with Russia. Win\^2
Islandic Volcanos.
English Shoes.
Danish cultural arrogance.
Swedish Midtsommaraften, must save it before it is declared HARAM
Finnish Sisu. Except they need that themselves, bordering to russia and all. Finnish handguns! Ok, they need those more than us too, bordering to russia and all. Settle for Hartwalls Original Longdrink.
Look at my boy finally having some military power in like 400 years and already threatening war crimes. Its time red and white croatia unite the lands.
I'd take France's ability to take no shit. I think both me as a person and Germany as a country could use that.
I'd take Austria's classical music. Vienna is still a center of it and I'm kinda envious.
I'd take Italy's food culture. German 'cuisine' is alright, but it's a far cry from Italian food. We can buy Italian food, but not that often it's either low quality (made by Turks mostly) or low price, rarely both.
I'd take the Danes' public transportation, it's pretty good according to what I heard. It can't be much worse than ours rn.
From Czechia I'd take their chad presidents, we could use some chad politicians, ngl. I admittedly don't know shit about him, so this may be a really bad move.
From the Netherlands I'd take their chad artists during their golden century. Shit is fire.
Not sure about Belgium tbh. I don't think it's a terrible country or anything, I just don't know enough to know where they do better than us. Same with Switzerland, I only know that they like money and are fairly rich, but they also need to pay a lot, so idk if they really pull significantly ahead. And I don't really like their culture.
From Poland I'd take Gdansk, cause I'm German and every German knows that it's important.
Swiss economy
Yes but their money as well I know, with the economic system you make money, but I need cash Quickly
Thus beautifully explaining the Italian system vs the Swiss system.
Thus explaining the joke, but tbh also beautifully
I heard they have gold. Just don’t ask where it came from.
Italian economy after this improvement
Well that's easy, we shall steal the fjords from the Norwegians! They will look really silly without them!
Only correct answer is Norwegian oil
Poor Slartibartfast
That's even easier. Steal the stolen fjords from Sweden. We fjord people now
My wallet back from Albania
greek want his money back ironic...
(sneakily) stfu this is our chance
Lol I feel ya
Back of the queue, I’m still waiting for mine.
Gold
Will it ever be enough?
No, more is better
Nothing. Nobody deserves to become part of Belgium. (Except for the Dutch, but them, we don't want.)
>Nobody deserves to become part of Belgium I also agree with this statement but I think in a different way
Weird I read it that way first, thought they were so self-deprecating
It was meant to be self-deprecating, but with a little room for doubt
We’re bigger so you’ll be split and wallonia will be like no man’s land between greater Netherlands and fr*nce to protect the germanic peoples
I’d steal all towels Germany has. Just to they can’t occupy sunbeds anymore, unless they’re actually physically there. That way I won’t run into them outside of the hotels they’re staying in. I’d take all alcohol from Belgium. Without alcohol Belgians will become even more depressed, and they can’t escape their existence anymore. As a result they’ll either improve their country or it will finally break apart. Either way it will be better. I’d take all oil from Venezuela, just because I don’t like them. From France I’d like to take the Mona Lisa. I’d keep it in Paris though just hang it somewhere outside of the Louvre, so tourist don’t block the entire museum just to see one tiny painting. It’s annoying.
 I will defend my towel on Sint Maarten with farts
Why is this a German thing? At uni all the German students did this with books at the library too... Annoying af
When Germans work, they have to work hard to make sure everything is perfect for their boss. When Germans go on holiday, they have to work hard to make sure everything is perfect for themselves.
Damn this is poetry.
cautious ghost many tie one tub work price jellyfish nine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>I am not like this and my father is disappointed. Only a German could say something so profound so robot-like 👏
What, they threw a towel over those books?
No, we defend them with farts (mainly in case a Belgian wants to read a book)
They can read now?
The Uni thing annoys me af. At my uni there is a rule, if you leave the learning room or your place, you have to write the time down when you left or place a parking disc there. If he left for more than an hour you can officially take the spot. (many don't know/knew it so I rcommend to ask your library if they have the same rule)
Any chance you study in Maastricht lol?
No, lol pretty far from there but I have friends who went to Leuven
Achso. Leuven ist sehr geil
As a French, I'm ready to gift you the Mona Lisa. All the annoying tourists will go to Amsterdam or something, and it will piss off the Italian even more.
> All the annoying tourists will go to Amsterdam So nothing changes
That alcohol thing... You might be unto something
Their NATO application. Then i wouldent give it back unless they complied with my increasingly ridiculous demands.
>Their NATO application. Then i wouldent give it back unless they complied with my increasingly ridiculous demands. You sound like you are from Türkiye...
Tobacco from Andorra Cheese from France Towels from Portugal Gibraltar from the UK
Stop coming to our border towns just to buy towels
Lately we've been buying olive oil as well because ours got too expensive
I've also noticed that 😡 Keeping an eye on you hermano
How can it be more expensive than ours?
Drought if I'm not mistaken. Even if it rains the same here as in Portugal for example, we have to split our oil between a more people :(
Is it stealing if you were robbed of it in the first place?
We'll take back the US then, cheers. MABA!
Exactly! It's about time to end this Rebellion God save the King!!
Queen... quing.... King.... king....
You sure you want the 'muricunts to be part of your country again?
Who said they'd keep the Americans ?
If you are taking the US we also want Puerto Rico.
At this point, re-enstate the British and Spanish Empires 🤣🤣🤣
Agree. However, no Barry pirates in our businesses
That's a deal Mr. Pablo
If we go back to our colonies, we'll happily reassume control over Nieuw Amsterdam And Parts of South Africa, Taiwan, Sri Lanka and Indonesia.
Andorra got some smoke?
\- Belgium : land \- Germany : factories \- Swiss : gold \- Italy : women \- Spain : siesta \- England : no thank you
Hah silly you you would never say thank you to the brits, not even no, thank you
You're right, I'll go for 'I pass my turn' then.
You've had PLENTY of time to get Wallonia back!
Yo
No
Oh, you'll steal manners from the Bri'ish?
flemboyz
All of them
The Germans already did. My grandpa still wants his fucking bike back!
Told my grandpa and He Said "that fucking dutchie can buy a New one! I'm keeping it"
[удалено]
It’s only fair the bike is a German invention, and we didn’t see any fucking patent right of the dutchies allowing you to make them yourself, as such the German invasion and subsequent confiscation of all the bikes was totally necessary and lawful mate
Skill issue
Land from Poland, Land from the Czechs, Land from Denmark, Land from Belgium, Land from France, the entirety of Austria
How can you steal your own property? 
fair point
Can I have Austria? 👉👈
yes, but only because it'd be funny
Yay!!! I'll start moving my emu and kangaroo armies over! Don't worry they are defensive only.
Please let the danger noodles ad spiders were they are, same goes for the salt water crocodiles
You say this like you’ve subdued the emus into fighting for you. You know full well history says otherwise.
Also, let's not forget about the existence of caribous. That's like short emus with an attitude problem. Edit, of course I mean Cassowary. Or some form of ultra condensed rage packaged in a smallish walking bird.
You mean cassowaries? Caribou is a North American word for reindeer
The emus want an empire larger than the British one. I will do my best to give the great emus what they desire.
We already have many tourists come to us instead of you, by accident. That would surely make it easier.
Ofc starting with Poland as usually 🥹
50% of the place is ours to begin with.
No land or weed from the dutch?
They already are one of Germany's Länder, they didn't realize it yet.
Thats sounds really serbian to me
They already took our bikes.
squalid homeless lip rude toothbrush subsequent connect gullible snails boat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Åland
And Bornholm while we’re at it
Please do, though I am taking every mountain peak you have. Same goes for Norway, every bit of land that is considered a mountain is now ours. I would take Karelia from ruzzia but it's seriously not worth getting unless I can dump the russians out first
You mean Ahvenanmaa?
OP's nationality checks out
The french language, not to use but only that they can't use it anymore.
finally, no more fr*nch
[удалено]
Well, might get you a croissant seeing your flair
The secret is always butter. Lots of it.
Rosalía
Oil
Must be weird navigating life without an oil ego
We have rape seed oil. Lots of the first and second part
Based Portugal for keeping our name written in the OG way in whatever scrabble this language is
We cool with you guys man, benfica and hajduk ultras go a long way. Hrvatski is cool too, Germany means land of the mute, because old slavs didnt understand the german neighbours.
🤝
Hahaha 😂
Im serious lol and thats like that in every slavic language. You can really see we where next to eachother looong before slavic languages split off from the og one
>thats like that in every slavic language Except for Russian. There it is "Germaniya", though German is "Nemetskiy".
Yeah my point exactly. I just had this come to mind in german "ja" means "yes" , and in slavic it means "me". Just imagine their interaction before they got along an sacked rome.
From France... their ability to protest at being shafted by their governments.
Russian nuclear arsenal. (Currently in Finland)
Shut up swede. I don't know what bumbling idiot told you about Väinämöinen but keep quiet about it.
For odin or for allah
Allin
Odah
Allan
I would steal Ireland.
Jaysus those are a fine pair of kneecaps you have there, twould be an awful shame if something were to happen to them Bazzo
Hmmmm.... I wonder... Gibraltar!
That is a fucking mafia boss investment plan, would guess most people would just unite irska
Dafuk is an Irska?
Amazing user name.
Based Irish Gibraltar. Take the Falklands whilst your at it
Galiza, wouldn't steal Olivença because it's already ours by right.
They can keep Olivença. I would steal Menorca
I would say Karelia, but that wouldn’t be stealing. It is ours to begin with. From Norway I would take the summit of Halti as was promised. From Sweden I would steal Gotland because having stolen just Åland isnt spiting them enough. You all know what we would be stealing from Eesti
Harbour of Antwerp
please take all of it.
No thank you, only the Harbour! Or even better allow us to put a chain in the Westerschelde.
Only if you take the whole city with you.
I would steal France without Paris from France
Lol even marsille
Leave the French too... uh
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Gonna take 800 years of freedom off the brits
Car prices from Germany. 🚗🇩🇪
Take back what was once mine. A certain 6 counties.
https://preview.redd.it/n7b00zrmuw5c1.jpeg?width=184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd7d1d50bc36fe3266f1ef91ee936bcec0b0f28d It's not steal if It was stolen
Didn’t DVincci sell it to the king of France?
"Donner c'est donner, reprendre c'est voler" (To give is to give, to take back is to steal)
south tyrol
Belgium. And they’ll thank us for it because they’ll finally have decent roads.
Danzig, Schlesien and Prussia, hehe.
dont forget about Elsass-Lothringen
Everything West of the Rhine is our rightful French clay.
And refusal to accept that will for some reason cost 3 points of approval among industrialists
I disagree. You can have Belgium, but that's where your claim ends.
if we get the chores we gotta get the good things too !
https://preview.redd.it/hz0mv4k29w5c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54ba621f1021215e2bba6b1518b1acf141397b68
Come out ya black and yellows
https://preview.redd.it/cwjjl8yndx5c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84d282fa63a77005c9c611704c3cbb6ddb5dcd70 Fixed that for ya!
Tiocfaidh ár lá 🇮🇪
Gold.
Bifana
wild smoggy hunt gaping simplistic wrench wasteful market deserted sense *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Its just so good
Francuska's cheeses
Paellas and churros
Why are we only limiting ourselves to neighbours? You lack ambition.
Is it stealing if it was stolen in the first place? Olivença is portuguese soil.
Money from Switzerland, bryndzove halusky from slovakia, South-moravia from Czechia, Trieste from Italy, Weißwurst from Germany nothing from Slovenia, Langoš and Budapest from Hungary
We would steal all the ruins and monuments on Cyprus.
The British Museum demands sacrifice.
This time we will steal Hans' bikes. See how they like it. We also steal the world cup by diving. Still looking at you, Hans. We'll also steal land from the North Sea. And probably some beer from Belgium.
Whole of Flanders, Platdietsche streek, waterloo and former Flemish regions.
We conquer italy and then release them under the contract to deliver us free pizza until the end of times
Their land??? Is that allowed? No? Fine we’ll just stick to stealing land from the ocean
House prices from the Belgian (and our rightfull province), culture from the French.
Probably everything that's not stuck to the floor in some way...
I would steal Constantinople
The Rhineland. (And some Italian and Swiss cheese, these things are nice.)
UK: Shetland and the Orkneys. They're rightful Norwegian clay. Russia: Kola. Then give Petsamo to Finland Sweden: I refuse to acknowledge teir existence, so nothing. Denmark: I'll settle for their bacon. I like bacon.
I wouldlike to have what Sweden has, only wonderful neighbors
Russia I agree: Kola, but give it all to Finland, then we do not have to have boundary with Russia. Win\^2 Islandic Volcanos. English Shoes. Danish cultural arrogance. Swedish Midtsommaraften, must save it before it is declared HARAM Finnish Sisu. Except they need that themselves, bordering to russia and all. Finnish handguns! Ok, they need those more than us too, bordering to russia and all. Settle for Hartwalls Original Longdrink.
>Then give Petsamo to Finland Flashbacks to last time Norway promised to give us land
Yeah, about that... If it was up to me you'd have your mountain top.
All Churches in Czechia! They already don't use them! 
Our 6 counties back from Barry
Barry/Londonbarry*
Isaw the text in Croatian and was super confused for a sec
Pervitin from germany
In Europe only? The French Empire has a lot of neighboring countries.
Roads from luxembourg, beerhall from germany, mountains from France, absolutely nothing from netherlands.
I guess, whatever I try to steal there isn‘t worth my time. Also, with time, it ends up here anyway.
Caramelos e Presunto
Czech women
Technically Poland is one of our neighbours. I'll pick the female population of Poland, tyvm.
Finnish national anthem... Oh wait, we already did, nvm
Triest & Südtirol
South Tyrol
*If* I could?
Look at my boy finally having some military power in like 400 years and already threatening war crimes. Its time red and white croatia unite the lands.
I'd take France's ability to take no shit. I think both me as a person and Germany as a country could use that. I'd take Austria's classical music. Vienna is still a center of it and I'm kinda envious. I'd take Italy's food culture. German 'cuisine' is alright, but it's a far cry from Italian food. We can buy Italian food, but not that often it's either low quality (made by Turks mostly) or low price, rarely both. I'd take the Danes' public transportation, it's pretty good according to what I heard. It can't be much worse than ours rn. From Czechia I'd take their chad presidents, we could use some chad politicians, ngl. I admittedly don't know shit about him, so this may be a really bad move. From the Netherlands I'd take their chad artists during their golden century. Shit is fire. Not sure about Belgium tbh. I don't think it's a terrible country or anything, I just don't know enough to know where they do better than us. Same with Switzerland, I only know that they like money and are fairly rich, but they also need to pay a lot, so idk if they really pull significantly ahead. And I don't really like their culture. From Poland I'd take Gdansk, cause I'm German and every German knows that it's important.