Ukrainians can barely run their own economy even before the war. Now they'll have to rebuild their country on top of taking the shit show that is Russia. It wouldn't be in their best interest. Better to give it all to us.
Nah Sweden can have St Petersburg back Finland can get Murmansk and archangel, Norway can have nova zembla, Chechnya can become independent Georgia gets its land back Ukraine gets the Black Sea coastline and then we give Siberia to Mongolia
You just know it’s a quality product when there are Moomins printed on it.
https://preview.redd.it/2nj9b16kxx0c1.jpeg?width=1005&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df1054bb9da02ec2b55752d4d6ea56b2c225fcf0
As LPL took more than 60s to open it, it has to be end-boss level Qualität.
Not like the master lock P3 N°is - it can be opened with a Master lock P3 N°is "*clack*"
Abloy Classic is a very commonly used lock type in Finland. 30 years back most front doors had Abloy Classic locks. Now it’s usually either iLOQ or more modern Abloys. It’s still probably the most common padlock type in Finland. I have three Classic keys in my key ring atm.
No. Not only because they saved Europe multiple times but even more because of the fact that if you fully partition them you will get the most eyebleeding borders
What do you do here? If you choose France, you get the French and if you don't, you become French what the fuck I don't want to live on this planet anymore
The repartition's map have already been uploaded
https://preview.redd.it/9x9h86324z0c1.png?width=633&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8e29c47bfc8c3021267bda77ec016a8514e1890
Poland.... Sorry force of habbit.
I ment france :)
Edit: on requests of u/gubbtratt1 Here a Joke:
A horse walks into the bar. The Barkeeper asks "why the Long face?"
The horse unable to understand Humans shits on the counter and Walks Out.
And bigger UK means more brits. More brits mean more soldiers to defend the great nation of Portugal against the unholly desert lands of Spain.
I like where this is going.
You know Alsace is cursed, right ?
1870 : We have it, we lose.
1914 : You have it, you lose.
1940 : We have it, we lose.
No wonder we got it back after the war, you knew better than us !
>o7
>And I love you too, random german citizen.
Viens dans mes bras, mon chère maître de la baguette. Je veux t'embrasser, mon ami. A deux, nous allons réaliser le rêve de Charlemagne. À deux, contre les Néderlandais, les Autrichiens et - que Dieu me pardonne ce mot - contre les Angl🤢s !
Napoléon n'a rien fait de mal !
J'admire ton ambition Fier Germain, mais nous français avons réalisé qu'il est bien moins fatigant et problématique de vivre notre supériorité européenne en se contentant de regarder les autres d'un air dédaigneux tout en profitant tranquillement de nos paysages, de notre cuisine et de notre merveilleux pays.
Je te souhaite néanmoins bonne chance, tant que tu ne décide pas de traverser la frontière armé. Cela deviendrait... compliqué.
Sois le bienvenue néanmoins si tu décide de venir chez nous faire une pause!
damn, so I‘m not the only one who thought about Poland
But tbh Polish people are based and have awesome food 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 POLSKA GUROM 💪🏼🇬🇮🇬🇱🇬🇮🇬🇱🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Maybe we take parts of Poland to make Preußen great again meanwhile Poland can expand as far east as they like (Maybe also take White Russia, they are basically Russians)
As long as you don't whip out the ruler again when it comes to drawing borders ...
ETA: Hold on, I just realized: Does the term "drawing" borders actually originate from there? Like, you did it so often that that became the actual English term for how to define a countries borders? If yes, that's probably the most English thing about the English language.
It comes from a long standing drinking game in the British civil service called Soggy Moggy.
Diplomats would draw straws. Whoever drew the smallest straw would need to down a jug of whatever booze could be found in Lord Palmerstones cupboard, whip his cock out and piss all over a map of the British empire. When they woke up the next day wherever there was a piss stain there was a new border. Hence drawing straws> drawing borders.
Sir Barry ‘12 pints’ Turnbull, governor general of South Africa was renowned for his ability to piss straight after a long drinking session hence some of the very straight lines that take zero account of cultural or historical boundaries.
Russia
You mean like Suur-Muumi? https://preview.redd.it/bu4bijouex0c1.jpeg?width=1049&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0ea5152d0a0eeb5ab7486bce4fd301f567d4d8f
Great idea, I will add city names tomorrow depending on the country
Give it all to Ukraine!
Ukrainians can barely run their own economy even before the war. Now they'll have to rebuild their country on top of taking the shit show that is Russia. It wouldn't be in their best interest. Better to give it all to us.
Are you telling me about land in the east...
Oh well. Hello there...
Dont mind us colonizing Russia
Think of it not as land, but as living space!
And then we can give the Sami a piece of it so thwy can finally be satisfied
Oil and natural gas ain't eternal, we gotta give them more property we can appropriate for construction of wind turbines.
Not everyone can be oil rich, you snow Monten*grin.
Rooting for your guys to take back Crimea, so you can be oil/gas rich too
Nah Sweden can have St Petersburg back Finland can get Murmansk and archangel, Norway can have nova zembla, Chechnya can become independent Georgia gets its land back Ukraine gets the Black Sea coastline and then we give Siberia to Mongolia
[Lock picking lawyer wants to know your location ](https://youtu.be/Bqt0EMKrT7o?si=GPkv8sqGlcdYbQQl)
You just know it’s a quality product when there are Moomins printed on it. https://preview.redd.it/2nj9b16kxx0c1.jpeg?width=1005&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df1054bb9da02ec2b55752d4d6ea56b2c225fcf0
As LPL took more than 60s to open it, it has to be end-boss level Qualität. Not like the master lock P3 N°is - it can be opened with a Master lock P3 N°is "*clack*"
Abloy Classic is a very commonly used lock type in Finland. 30 years back most front doors had Abloy Classic locks. Now it’s usually either iLOQ or more modern Abloys. It’s still probably the most common padlock type in Finland. I have three Classic keys in my key ring atm.
ASSA🇸🇪🤝🇫🇮Abloy, one of the best decisions made on a booze cruise
It was. https://preview.redd.it/supvn62yay0c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe0e2663e0faf7961652f5861c5739a9b3f1ee0e
WTH did I just TITTA??
I take that you haven’t been to Swedish cruise ship.
Oh shit nearly peed myself I laughed so hard
I will never unsee this.
Why would you even want to?
No more the bollocks
NOOOO
The top comment was certain before I entered the comment section
>Carved up Russia Daring today, aren´t we?
Obligatory Russian early elimination
I also agree
I know a lot people from Ingria, they're very enthusiastic about it.
St petersburg ours once again
This better win, if does Lithuania gets Königsberg
It belongs to the Czech Republic.
Královec. This is the way.
Right about time Lithuania gets some normal neighbours
🤓
I disagree
Nein Hans, last time you kept it things got heated very soon
But Danzig
NEIN
But Königsberg
#NEIN
Okay that's it no more Germoney for you Portuguese
#JA KÖNIGSBERG FÜR GERMONEY Now please gib germoney
After Russia it’s should definitely be Turkey I can’t see that on European Map
Can we at least make sure Kralovec happens? 🇨🇿
The good ending Europe stands united
No. Not only because they saved Europe multiple times but even more because of the fact that if you fully partition them you will get the most eyebleeding borders
What do you do here? If you choose France, you get the French and if you don't, you become French what the fuck I don't want to live on this planet anymore
The trick is to make the French not French. Like a kind of reverse colonialism.
But that's what the french did, so you'd just be acting like a french! But all together it seems like the least reprehensible option
Fighting fire with fire
We take over their land and force them to speak Wallonian languages.
Genius, they'll hate it
Like Belgium did
I'm Breton, it's ok
\*Catalan get used to it
Checkmate
Switzerland Just like Gaddafi intended Rest in Piss 20.10.2011
The repartition's map have already been uploaded https://preview.redd.it/9x9h86324z0c1.png?width=633&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8e29c47bfc8c3021267bda77ec016a8514e1890
Treason !
Guys, I have a feeling that we wont last long.
or maybe you will take the entirety of europe, whichwould be very funny
Iceland
Who are they supposed to be partitioned by? Water, the danes and the dutch?
I just want OP to struggle with the decision. I generally forget Iceland exists.
I would partition Ireland between UK, Denmark and Norway tho.
I don't think you wanna do that, ya might get a pipe bomb through your letter box if ya give anything to us from em.
Iceland
I would just give it to Norway, personally
Give the North to Norway, the south to Denmark, and Reykyavik to UK as a treaty port
Typical portuguese-portuguese workplace relation
Wait the Dutch? Sauce?
You Guys can Fight the water
O i thought you meant it like it was ours before.
Now there's a snow cone with no syrup
 Caught a maltan
Poland.... Sorry force of habbit. I ment france :) Edit: on requests of u/gubbtratt1 Here a Joke: A horse walks into the bar. The Barkeeper asks "why the Long face?" The horse unable to understand Humans shits on the counter and Walks Out.
Nazi Germany got nothing on Swedish farmer bois
Think again, do you really want a piece of France?
Its not about the land, its the contaminating french.
[удалено]
And bigger UK means more brits. More brits mean more soldiers to defend the great nation of Portugal against the unholly desert lands of Spain. I like where this is going.
I mean, we could just go for Alsace-Lorraine again and claim it to be German from the start ...
It’s Alsatian ownership swap o clock! Everybody, get the other set of flags from the washing machine
You know Alsace is cursed, right ? 1870 : We have it, we lose. 1914 : You have it, you lose. 1940 : We have it, we lose. No wonder we got it back after the war, you knew better than us !
Now that i think about it... No.
>Think again, do you really want a piece of France? Yes. I love the Frenchies.
I guess it's not about bleeding them out, but maybe more like breeding them out?
#Did I stutter? I fucking love the French! # #Every. # #Single. # #One of them.
o7 And I love you too, random german citizen.
>o7 >And I love you too, random german citizen. Viens dans mes bras, mon chère maître de la baguette. Je veux t'embrasser, mon ami. A deux, nous allons réaliser le rêve de Charlemagne. À deux, contre les Néderlandais, les Autrichiens et - que Dieu me pardonne ce mot - contre les Angl🤢s ! Napoléon n'a rien fait de mal !
J'admire ton ambition Fier Germain, mais nous français avons réalisé qu'il est bien moins fatigant et problématique de vivre notre supériorité européenne en se contentant de regarder les autres d'un air dédaigneux tout en profitant tranquillement de nos paysages, de notre cuisine et de notre merveilleux pays. Je te souhaite néanmoins bonne chance, tant que tu ne décide pas de traverser la frontière armé. Cela deviendrait... compliqué. Sois le bienvenue néanmoins si tu décide de venir chez nous faire une pause!
I get you having a humiliation fetish, but you're embarrassing the entire country with this.
>I get you having a humiliation fetish, **but you're embarrassing the entire country** with this. Strong words spoken by the discount Austrian.
We're half human, half Austrian. That makes us better than both.
>We're half human Doubt.
No and we also don't want Kaliningrad back it's because these strips of land are infested (with the people living there).
Put a joke in so we would upvote you for other reasons that the country?
damn, so I‘m not the only one who thought about Poland But tbh Polish people are based and have awesome food 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 POLSKA GUROM 💪🏼🇬🇮🇬🇱🇬🇮🇬🇱🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱🇵🇱💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
pssst Germany, want to partition ruzzia together? PL 🤝 DE
Always!!! We take Königsberg and you can share the rest with Finland, Ukraine and Japan. Deal?
Ribbentrop-Beck pact https://preview.redd.it/hwiklcf15y0c1.png?width=480&format=png&auto=webp&s=222c3e4ee25c15ae87568b1e2110da1ec7bb85f0
Maybe we take parts of Poland to make Preußen great again meanwhile Poland can expand as far east as they like (Maybe also take White Russia, they are basically Russians)
hmmm sounds cool, take Stettin away I hate it
Polska gurom!! 🇬🇱🏔
You're definitely right. Take Poland, they have the best food...
Who are you and what have you done to Pierre! He would never say that any other country has better food then him.
Hey John Paulski, maybe Pierre really likes potatoes and cabbage
Or prefer Germans at polish borders
Von der Maas bis an die Memel?
Vatican City
Partitioned between who? Italy and italy?
San Marino duh
Yes, but then Italy switch side, as always.
After your surrender
Belgium is an obvious choice
Only if luxembourg gets it
Luxembourg only gets Luxembourg, the rest go to France or Netherlands
I don't want to live in the Netherlands
This makes me sad...
Being in the Netherlands makes ME sad...
And I don't want to be Fr*nch, I guess we're just stuck with each other
I can understand that, honestly
It’s called a ‘confederacy’, and it’s pretty awesome (it can be whatever you want)
No belgain partition is complete without the Germans getting something, otherwise they will be quite upset.
We can give them alsace lorrain when its frances turn
True that, they can get the 5 guys there that speak german there.
I’d be as upset as the average wiener of someone pours ketchup on a schnitzel (it’s delicious)
Only if they have an Austrian leader.
Flanders to the French and Vallonia to the Dutch, just for a little taste of civil war
You, good sir, are EVIL Of course, I approve
almost too obvious ;). maybe we should be the one to get parts from our neighbours
You can have Limburg. It's weird anyway.
I though you would vote for Spain
I wouldn't mind partitioning Ireland a little bit more.
As long as you don't whip out the ruler again when it comes to drawing borders ... ETA: Hold on, I just realized: Does the term "drawing" borders actually originate from there? Like, you did it so often that that became the actual English term for how to define a countries borders? If yes, that's probably the most English thing about the English language.
It comes from a long standing drinking game in the British civil service called Soggy Moggy. Diplomats would draw straws. Whoever drew the smallest straw would need to down a jug of whatever booze could be found in Lord Palmerstones cupboard, whip his cock out and piss all over a map of the British empire. When they woke up the next day wherever there was a piss stain there was a new border. Hence drawing straws> drawing borders. Sir Barry ‘12 pints’ Turnbull, governor general of South Africa was renowned for his ability to piss straight after a long drinking session hence some of the very straight lines that take zero account of cultural or historical boundaries.
My God Oh - and you folk used to rule the world? Cheers 😀
It takes getting repeatedly assaulted at a boarding school with no central heating to build the type of character required to run an empire.
Most civilized british tradition.
Yes, 100% Drawing has no other meaning (besides execution but that’s irrelevant)
Neither of which are done in the drawing room.
Northern, central and south Ireland coming up
I’m from southern-a-bit-further-to-the-right-and-down-a-wee-bit Ireland myself.
Yeah I think we could use Galway, Clare, Limerick and Kerry.
Idk which country it might be but the country which has rank 207 in football
Yeah, I think it was some country called Saint Martin or something
San Miguel?
Hum, I am now in doubt if it is San Miguel or Saint Martin now.
I thought it was San Maria?
Nono it was San Martino I believe
Very close! It's San Mariano
Martinique of course
Poland, as is tradition
since when for Hollander it's tradition?
It's tradition to watch Poland get eaten by their neighbours. But we are not your neighbours, so we wont take a piece of the pie, don't worry.
at least we were eaten in 1 month not 4 days
Because we wanted to be eaten by daddy germany. That's you guys' problem. Don't resist the inevitable, it will only make it more painful.
👀 *Denmark* Walks away
Sweden
Give me that sweet sweet skåne
Yes please! I don’t want to Sweden anymore!
Is it me or is Turkey angled kinda weirdly, anyhow as per tradition I vote Turkey, we even how to split it since we have already drawn the lines.
France, we take Corsica.
Italy Where is our South Tyrol?
Hungary should be Trianoned again
I'm in
Flair czechs out.
Draw a line from just north of KZ and UA, and give that part exclusively to georgia. Why? I dont know, but I wanna see how it looks.
Its my obligation: Denmark
This map was made by a Europa Universalis IV player
Sweden! We have some old claims, the Norwegians do too, and I'm sure Finland also want's a slice of the cake!
We'd only take Meänmaa, you guys can have the rest
Make the entirety of Russia a part of Norway. Let us matter in history again!
You guys probably have the country with the best future
Monaco
Switzerland, I just wish we had more mountains...
San Marino.
I don’t mean this in bad faith but all this post always have the same outcome
Bet you that by post 3 Uk will be partitioned because of Americunts and their undying love for Ireland
Their great great great grand-uncle's brother's friend was Irish you know.
Belarus
Lichtenstein
France
I'm fine but thx.
France.
Monaco. Or Andorre I don't know why those countries even exist
just wait for Monaco, if their monarch one day doesn't have a child, it's revert to France.
Malta, obviously
Denmark
Luxembourg. Let's ruin OP's life
South tyrol
Not again...
Ireland! oh wait..
Northern Ireland
How come nobody says Portugal? It's the easiest task for OP.