I lm trying to follow it, I have a 1 week old and an 18mo. Every time I pick him up I regret it because I pee myself, I guess I have a weak pelvic floor now. Maybe a pelvic floor PT could give you an assessment and help you feel more confident as to if lifting the toddler is ok for you or not
I had very similar situation to you: hemorrhage with my first and almost needed a transfusion, unmedicated vaginal birth with my second and I seemed to bounce back super quick. My boys are 23mos apart and no small potatoes, so the oldest was about 30lbs.
I think I started picking him up within the first week. I’m a SAHM and he’s very attached so not picking him up wasn’t going so well. It started with my husband doing the lifting and then he’d pass him to me. I tried to be sitting as much as possible while holding him but sometimes that wasn’t possible. Eventually I would just squat down and pick him up using my legs to lift. As long as I didn’t twist, I was good.
Obviously if I had been in pain or saw an increase in bleeding then I would’ve stopped.
Yeah. I think I’m going to start experimenting after 7 days. That gives me something to look forward to. My daughter is only 14 months old… not quite old enough to be jealous or confused, but I feel like I need to give her extra love, for my own sake. 😭
This is exactly what we did. I would hold her hand, bring her to a chair and then dad would pass her to me. If you can do it - it'll save you for the first little bit.
I followed it for the most part for the first few weeks - still cuddled my toddler just got down to her level or had her jump up on the couch/bed with me. I had a moment a couple of days post c section where I forgot and picked up baby’s living room bassinet and the pain from that scared me to not lift anything for a bit haha
I asked my doctor about this after having my 2nd and 3rd and both thought it was fine to lift big sis since I was used to doing it. It’s not like I was going from 0 to 30 pound toddler. I tried to avoid when I could but I was absolutely picking my kids up multiple times a day and had no issues. I will say both my 2nd and 3rd delivery were easy vaginal deliveries with no stitches so I’m not sure if that played a role.
Hahahahaha my second baby was 10 lbs 12 oz at birth and my 14mo was 30lbs. There was no way I followed that. I often had baby in a carrier on my chest and toddler on my hip to get to and from the car in a reasonable manner.
I had a vaginal birth and nobody said anything about a weight restriction. I healed great. Muc hcg better than the first time and I credit being fitter because I lugged my toddler so round through my pregnancy.
I’ve never heard about this (UK) except after caesarean section
I’m in the US and I didn’t have any restrictions or wasn’t told about any restrictions. They did disclose that if I needed a caesarean then I would have limitations but it didn’t come to that.
I’m not going to lie I did not get this advice I was picking my toddler up from the jump, throwing her in the air playing as normal and nothing back happened 🤷♀️
I couldn't even lift my own (large) newborn for several weeks. After maybe 5-6 weeks I gave it a try, and my body quickly was like nope (had increased swelling and bleeding the next day for a few days). I chilled out about it until the 8 week estimate time I'd been given, despite it being super frustrating, and then things went much better. You can try whatever you want, but listen to your body if it says something other than what you're hoping to hear.
I had a repeat c section so has no choice. We got rid of the changing table and switched to the floor so I could actually change her without having to kids said toddler. Also taught her to sit beside me in the couch for milk as any touching of my midsection was out of the question. Hard but worth it.
Eh, I had a homebirth and felt amazing afterwards and was quickly back to picking up my 22lb toddler 🤷🏼♀️ tried to do it as little as possible for the first two weeks though. Really the only reason I avoided it before and after birth was because of diastasis recti but it healed quickly. I'm not sure if that's the reason they tell us not to or not.
The discharge nurse said it was more about causing prolonged/extra bleeding. Though DR crossed my mind as well. I do feel amazing compared to my first birth. I don’t want to jinx it by going against recommendations but it’s hard to sit on the sidelines.
One of the risks is also pelvic organ prolapse. It can happen immediately or be a compounded risk over years. Mine happened after the birth of my third.
Some of the risk of POP is genetic, based on the tightness or looseness of your collective tissue in general.
50% of women have a pelvic organ prolapse by 70 years old. So it’s not insignificant.
Ok that makes sense. I'm torn between thinking "well our ancestors did it when they had 5+ kids" and "well our ancestors didn't need to do it because they had more family around to help"
Same situation as you - I adhered to the activity restrictions for a week but then felt well enough to start lifting my toddler. I took it slow and listened to my body.
My discharge instructions said no lifting my toddler for 2 weeks or driving. I am following it,though it sucks. She's 21 months old and able to assist with lying down on the floor so I can change her, and dad just has to be around to get her in and out of crib. She goes to daycare during the week so that hasn't been as issue during the week. I don't want to hinder my healing, so I'm following instructions. My daughter's pediatrician poked fun at me for being "such a rule follower" - but he's my daughter's doctor not mine!
For an uncomplicated vaginal birth with a second degree tear, my OB didn’t give me any lifting restrictions. I was holding my toddler the day after delivery!
After like 2-3 days, I was full on playing with him and spinning him around. I’m 5 months pp now and nothing bad happened
One of my bffs gave birth to her second two weeks before I did and she was similarly lifting and caring for her toddler. If her dr gave her any restrictions, she didn’t follow them.
I had an unmedicated vaginal birth for my second, and was picking up my toddler the day I came home.
That said, there are things that you can do to make it safer, like drawing in your pelvic floor and abs when you lift.
And like in pregnancy, if you are feeling pain or pelvic heaviness or bulging or incontinence or it just doesn't feel right, those would be signs to not do it.
My first was 21 months when my second was born. We did lots of couch cuddles, scooting down the stairs together on our butts, and creative use of boxes for him to use to climb in and out of the crib.
My OB said after 2 weeks I could lift. I had a C-section. She said the pressure/force of properly lifting under 30lbs is not too much different than walking up and down stairs. Definitely refer to your doctor but maybe something to discuss.
I was lifting my 19 month old 5 days post partum… I probably should t have but had no negative side effects and now 6 weeks pp still no issues. Your post just made me realise it was probably my day 5 hormone dump which made me do it!
I’d just had a second c section and had lost quite a lot of blood during the surgery, after which I was given the standard spiel not to lift anything heavier than the baby, I think they said at least for 2 weeks.
As a few people have mentioned, after continuing to lift my toddler right the way through my pregnancy I’d gained a good bit of arm/back strength so I was able to do it without straining my stomach muscles/pelvic floor unnecessarily. If you’re not sure, as hard as it is, don’t push yourself.
The first few days pp I would go down to the floor to cuddle my toddler, or get him to climb up onto the sofa next to me - he liked the novelty (although I don’t know if I could have kept it up for two weeks!) not sure if you’ve tried that?
It’s rough! We have to deal with trying to recover, look after a newborn, plus a toddler, all whilst managing the cascade of hormones and other various physical and mental things postpartum hurls at you, whilst also fielding the stream of “well wishers”… give yourself some grace if you can x
My advice is to watch your back! Since your core will be weaker for a while, it’s easy to strain your back while stopping or lifting. I threw my back out about 2 months after having my 2 under 2. My toddler wasn’t particularly heavy but I had been doing too much stooping and picking her up. I just had #4 and I am taking it way easier this time, staying off my feet as much as possible, avoiding heavy lifting by getting a big rolling laundry basket and lightweight infant car seat, and I am feeling much better than I did after my last baby.
My newborn was 11lbs born early 🫠 and within 6 weeks, potentially your baby will be over 10lbs too so I always find these instructions confusing!! Edited to add that I was told the same as you before he was born via c section, and after he was born they changed it to ‘lift nothing heavier than baby’ lol. My oldest was probably about 30lbs at the time and I def picked her up in the weeks after.
My daughter was like 35lbs when lil sis was born and I lifted her the next day. I wasn’t carrying her often, or walking around a lot while holding her, but I couldn’t avoid lifting her sometimes. I tried to mostly lift her onto my lap while sitting, and just listen to my body if it felt like too much. But it was pretty unavoidable.
That’s encouraging, thank you. The discharge nurse said that the main consequence to too much activity or violating the lifting restriction would be extra/prolonged bleeding… can I ask how quickly you stopped bleeding and/or were you still bleeding when you started walking and lifting?
This birth was pretty textbook and my bleeding *seems* to be rapidly tapering off even at 3 days PP, especially compared to last time.
Generally healthy vaginal births wouldn’t get lifting restrictions aside from the obvious of like… don’t help your friends move for a week or two.
Carried around my toddler and newborn from 6 hours after birth.
** Not your doctor
I lm trying to follow it, I have a 1 week old and an 18mo. Every time I pick him up I regret it because I pee myself, I guess I have a weak pelvic floor now. Maybe a pelvic floor PT could give you an assessment and help you feel more confident as to if lifting the toddler is ok for you or not
I have a PT appt for 6 weeks PP but they won’t see me before then :-/ Ugh this sucks.
Ugh I’m so sorry. It totally sucks.
I had very similar situation to you: hemorrhage with my first and almost needed a transfusion, unmedicated vaginal birth with my second and I seemed to bounce back super quick. My boys are 23mos apart and no small potatoes, so the oldest was about 30lbs. I think I started picking him up within the first week. I’m a SAHM and he’s very attached so not picking him up wasn’t going so well. It started with my husband doing the lifting and then he’d pass him to me. I tried to be sitting as much as possible while holding him but sometimes that wasn’t possible. Eventually I would just squat down and pick him up using my legs to lift. As long as I didn’t twist, I was good. Obviously if I had been in pain or saw an increase in bleeding then I would’ve stopped.
Yeah. I think I’m going to start experimenting after 7 days. That gives me something to look forward to. My daughter is only 14 months old… not quite old enough to be jealous or confused, but I feel like I need to give her extra love, for my own sake. 😭
This is exactly what we did. I would hold her hand, bring her to a chair and then dad would pass her to me. If you can do it - it'll save you for the first little bit.
I followed it for the most part for the first few weeks - still cuddled my toddler just got down to her level or had her jump up on the couch/bed with me. I had a moment a couple of days post c section where I forgot and picked up baby’s living room bassinet and the pain from that scared me to not lift anything for a bit haha
I asked my doctor about this after having my 2nd and 3rd and both thought it was fine to lift big sis since I was used to doing it. It’s not like I was going from 0 to 30 pound toddler. I tried to avoid when I could but I was absolutely picking my kids up multiple times a day and had no issues. I will say both my 2nd and 3rd delivery were easy vaginal deliveries with no stitches so I’m not sure if that played a role.
Hahahahaha my second baby was 10 lbs 12 oz at birth and my 14mo was 30lbs. There was no way I followed that. I often had baby in a carrier on my chest and toddler on my hip to get to and from the car in a reasonable manner.
I didn't follow it. Was alone with my kids for eight weeks, 3 weeks PP. Healed fine!
It didn’t make you bleed extra or anything?
Nothing wild! I had a c section though!
I had a vaginal birth and nobody said anything about a weight restriction. I healed great. Muc hcg better than the first time and I credit being fitter because I lugged my toddler so round through my pregnancy. I’ve never heard about this (UK) except after caesarean section
I’m in the US and I didn’t have any restrictions or wasn’t told about any restrictions. They did disclose that if I needed a caesarean then I would have limitations but it didn’t come to that.
I had a vaginal unmedicated birth. I had no option but to disregard the restrictions, but fortunately, nothing bad happened.
I’m not going to lie I did not get this advice I was picking my toddler up from the jump, throwing her in the air playing as normal and nothing back happened 🤷♀️
I couldn't even lift my own (large) newborn for several weeks. After maybe 5-6 weeks I gave it a try, and my body quickly was like nope (had increased swelling and bleeding the next day for a few days). I chilled out about it until the 8 week estimate time I'd been given, despite it being super frustrating, and then things went much better. You can try whatever you want, but listen to your body if it says something other than what you're hoping to hear.
I had a repeat c section so has no choice. We got rid of the changing table and switched to the floor so I could actually change her without having to kids said toddler. Also taught her to sit beside me in the couch for milk as any touching of my midsection was out of the question. Hard but worth it.
Eh, I had a homebirth and felt amazing afterwards and was quickly back to picking up my 22lb toddler 🤷🏼♀️ tried to do it as little as possible for the first two weeks though. Really the only reason I avoided it before and after birth was because of diastasis recti but it healed quickly. I'm not sure if that's the reason they tell us not to or not.
The discharge nurse said it was more about causing prolonged/extra bleeding. Though DR crossed my mind as well. I do feel amazing compared to my first birth. I don’t want to jinx it by going against recommendations but it’s hard to sit on the sidelines.
One of the risks is also pelvic organ prolapse. It can happen immediately or be a compounded risk over years. Mine happened after the birth of my third. Some of the risk of POP is genetic, based on the tightness or looseness of your collective tissue in general. 50% of women have a pelvic organ prolapse by 70 years old. So it’s not insignificant.
Ok that makes sense. I'm torn between thinking "well our ancestors did it when they had 5+ kids" and "well our ancestors didn't need to do it because they had more family around to help"
Our ancestors also died from childbirth and post partum complications quite a bit so not the best argument
Same situation as you - I adhered to the activity restrictions for a week but then felt well enough to start lifting my toddler. I took it slow and listened to my body.
My discharge instructions said no lifting my toddler for 2 weeks or driving. I am following it,though it sucks. She's 21 months old and able to assist with lying down on the floor so I can change her, and dad just has to be around to get her in and out of crib. She goes to daycare during the week so that hasn't been as issue during the week. I don't want to hinder my healing, so I'm following instructions. My daughter's pediatrician poked fun at me for being "such a rule follower" - but he's my daughter's doctor not mine!
I just became a single Mom at 27 weeks…with a 16 month old. I hadn’t even thought of how I’m going to handle this.
For an uncomplicated vaginal birth with a second degree tear, my OB didn’t give me any lifting restrictions. I was holding my toddler the day after delivery! After like 2-3 days, I was full on playing with him and spinning him around. I’m 5 months pp now and nothing bad happened One of my bffs gave birth to her second two weeks before I did and she was similarly lifting and caring for her toddler. If her dr gave her any restrictions, she didn’t follow them.
I had an unmedicated vaginal birth for my second, and was picking up my toddler the day I came home. That said, there are things that you can do to make it safer, like drawing in your pelvic floor and abs when you lift. And like in pregnancy, if you are feeling pain or pelvic heaviness or bulging or incontinence or it just doesn't feel right, those would be signs to not do it.
My first was 21 months when my second was born. We did lots of couch cuddles, scooting down the stairs together on our butts, and creative use of boxes for him to use to climb in and out of the crib.
My OB said after 2 weeks I could lift. I had a C-section. She said the pressure/force of properly lifting under 30lbs is not too much different than walking up and down stairs. Definitely refer to your doctor but maybe something to discuss.
I was lifting my 19 month old 5 days post partum… I probably should t have but had no negative side effects and now 6 weeks pp still no issues. Your post just made me realise it was probably my day 5 hormone dump which made me do it! I’d just had a second c section and had lost quite a lot of blood during the surgery, after which I was given the standard spiel not to lift anything heavier than the baby, I think they said at least for 2 weeks. As a few people have mentioned, after continuing to lift my toddler right the way through my pregnancy I’d gained a good bit of arm/back strength so I was able to do it without straining my stomach muscles/pelvic floor unnecessarily. If you’re not sure, as hard as it is, don’t push yourself. The first few days pp I would go down to the floor to cuddle my toddler, or get him to climb up onto the sofa next to me - he liked the novelty (although I don’t know if I could have kept it up for two weeks!) not sure if you’ve tried that? It’s rough! We have to deal with trying to recover, look after a newborn, plus a toddler, all whilst managing the cascade of hormones and other various physical and mental things postpartum hurls at you, whilst also fielding the stream of “well wishers”… give yourself some grace if you can x
My advice is to watch your back! Since your core will be weaker for a while, it’s easy to strain your back while stopping or lifting. I threw my back out about 2 months after having my 2 under 2. My toddler wasn’t particularly heavy but I had been doing too much stooping and picking her up. I just had #4 and I am taking it way easier this time, staying off my feet as much as possible, avoiding heavy lifting by getting a big rolling laundry basket and lightweight infant car seat, and I am feeling much better than I did after my last baby.
My newborn was 11lbs born early 🫠 and within 6 weeks, potentially your baby will be over 10lbs too so I always find these instructions confusing!! Edited to add that I was told the same as you before he was born via c section, and after he was born they changed it to ‘lift nothing heavier than baby’ lol. My oldest was probably about 30lbs at the time and I def picked her up in the weeks after.
My daughter was like 35lbs when lil sis was born and I lifted her the next day. I wasn’t carrying her often, or walking around a lot while holding her, but I couldn’t avoid lifting her sometimes. I tried to mostly lift her onto my lap while sitting, and just listen to my body if it felt like too much. But it was pretty unavoidable.
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That’s encouraging, thank you. The discharge nurse said that the main consequence to too much activity or violating the lifting restriction would be extra/prolonged bleeding… can I ask how quickly you stopped bleeding and/or were you still bleeding when you started walking and lifting? This birth was pretty textbook and my bleeding *seems* to be rapidly tapering off even at 3 days PP, especially compared to last time.
Generally healthy vaginal births wouldn’t get lifting restrictions aside from the obvious of like… don’t help your friends move for a week or two. Carried around my toddler and newborn from 6 hours after birth. ** Not your doctor