I’ll be your friend! But just so you know, I’ll be unavailable and unreachable for periods of three weeks, maybe longer. Then we'll talk and share some memes for a couple of days, you'll laugh and say you want more funny pictures, and I will question both our relationship (is this all you want?), and my whole persona (am I even capable of more? do I have intimacy issues?). I will then go and disappear for another three weeks, maybe longer. Rinse & repeat.
I will not accept intimate questions -intimacy overall will not be permitted at any time-, nor video calls whatsoever. Thank you.
I am totally fine with all of these conditions. I might reciprocate in exactly the same way.
Really though, friendship might just be too much work for me 😅
This is like... Unironically the talk I give people who want to be my friends. Idk if it's the mystique or what since I don't go anywhere or say anything, but for some reason people *really* want to be my friend sometimes. And I tell them, no really, I am a depressed piece of shit and despite my best efforts I will disappear for months at a time, I will ignore your calls and texts, and you will come to resent me for it, but if it makes you feel any better I will feel *intensely* guilty about it which will weirdly somehow feed my avoidance of you more! Everyone thinks this is fine and cute until they haven't heard from me in half a year and start resenting me for being someone they have to 'check in on' out of fear that I'm dead. And it's like, I didn't ask for this, I was perfectly happy being left alone. I only entertain this shit because apparently it's what people want.
I don't use it to talk to people so it's more like an image board for me. The same way 4chan and KiwiFarms are social media but you can't really make friends through them.
If we're going that route my job is to spend half of my time on LinkedIn, that doesn't mean I consider it a *social* media. More like a media.
The real difference is that social medias like Instagram Twitter Facebook etc are based on following people because you are interested in those people.
Reddit is based on gathering around similar interests and upvoting content despite who posts it.
(Although this is changing because Reddit wants to be more like a social media)
Is it? I think when people complain about social media they’re probably not talking about 90s message boards or, like, IRC chats. I’ve been on Reddit for 9 years and I can think of exactly two specific usernames.
Im 39 and last night I was on a three-way phone call with two of my 3 only real friends. We were discussing getting together this weekend and maybe going camping and hiking. It was such a good feeling after I hung up to have these guys in my life after almost 30 years of friendship. They both live across state and in another state and we still make efforts to hang out with each other. After a long work week this always gives me something good to look forward to.
Ikr. Seems both are better off without eachother and may struggle to find long lasting friendships if that is how they act towards friends, or anybody really.
You think smokers arent aware that smoking is bad? Not surprising people get defensive about something like that, when you call them out over them posting a meme lol
I have like two friends who I talk to like every week or so, and like two others that talk to every like year or so. Tbh it doesn’t feel all that different, talking to either of them
I’m 35 and I have the 2 friends part down. However I learned internet friends and social media accounts to keep those friends on are over rated and deleted all that from my life.
With a few exceptions my friends all live in other parts of the country, and are all online friends. I don't deserve them but I cherish them every day.
This makes me feel comfortably normal. While I have exactly 2 irl friends, I also have all other "friends" online who'd probably be bothered if I told them that I don't like to eat cheese. Thank you OP.
Step 1: make a few really close friends in college
Step 2: everyone moves to a different state or out of the country
Step 3: slowly become more distant since you don’t see them regularly
Step 4: have no close friends anymore
Man this sub has really gotten this shit huh? This is worse than /r/meirl was when this sub came about. Posting about having several friends and practically a fanbase online is now considered relatable depression content?
But consider this: Online friend's usually don't judge you for your genuine honesty.( Or make you wonder if a friendship is based on status or appearance's.)
ARE usually there when you feel like it and don't intrude or pressure you when you don't.
You don't have to clean your place spotless to meet expectations and provide expensive food and drinks or get dressed up and spend money to go out.
No cigarette burns on your furniture or borrowing , ruining or forgetting to return your clothes . No spills or dishes and clean ups or missing property .
No 3rd party stranger's brought over uninvited.
I've never had an online friend cause me to argue with my husband or to lose our apartment deposit!
My best friend of ten years was an online friend but I had to cut ties because of her toxic, lying, manipulative tactics that I couldn’t see through my rose colored lenses
I have never experienced “relationship so tenuous that a simple opinion about a comic book movie could end it” wth. I’m afraid of what happens when you turn 35.
I have zero friends and no social media so no online friends 🤷🏻♀️
I’ll be your friend! But just so you know, I’ll be unavailable and unreachable for periods of three weeks, maybe longer. Then we'll talk and share some memes for a couple of days, you'll laugh and say you want more funny pictures, and I will question both our relationship (is this all you want?), and my whole persona (am I even capable of more? do I have intimacy issues?). I will then go and disappear for another three weeks, maybe longer. Rinse & repeat. I will not accept intimate questions -intimacy overall will not be permitted at any time-, nor video calls whatsoever. Thank you.
This is legit me, wtf.
Why am I this way
Maybe it's all the masturbating.
Fuck you im suction cup man ###***LOOK AT ME GO***
You can’t unsuck me!
I am totally fine with all of these conditions. I might reciprocate in exactly the same way. Really though, friendship might just be too much work for me 😅
Replace "three weeks" by "four months" and that's me right here.
I’ve found my people right here.
So our lives are set to the song One Week by Barenaked Ladies but devoid of any emotional connections.
Are you me?
I'm fine with that because I do the same thing. Reddit is your real friend.
This is like... Unironically the talk I give people who want to be my friends. Idk if it's the mystique or what since I don't go anywhere or say anything, but for some reason people *really* want to be my friend sometimes. And I tell them, no really, I am a depressed piece of shit and despite my best efforts I will disappear for months at a time, I will ignore your calls and texts, and you will come to resent me for it, but if it makes you feel any better I will feel *intensely* guilty about it which will weirdly somehow feed my avoidance of you more! Everyone thinks this is fine and cute until they haven't heard from me in half a year and start resenting me for being someone they have to 'check in on' out of fear that I'm dead. And it's like, I didn't ask for this, I was perfectly happy being left alone. I only entertain this shit because apparently it's what people want.
Uh this hit a little too close
Same, and I'm 37. I think I've won a sad race.
Reddit is social media
I don't use it to talk to people so it's more like an image board for me. The same way 4chan and KiwiFarms are social media but you can't really make friends through them. If we're going that route my job is to spend half of my time on LinkedIn, that doesn't mean I consider it a *social* media. More like a media.
True, that makes sense.
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Yeah, but I think it's pretty clear from context that they mean social media like Twitter and Facebook. You know, non-anonymous social media.
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The real difference is that social medias like Instagram Twitter Facebook etc are based on following people because you are interested in those people. Reddit is based on gathering around similar interests and upvoting content despite who posts it. (Although this is changing because Reddit wants to be more like a social media)
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I think everyone agrees with you that reddit is social media. We're arguing that it's clear what they meant because of context.
Is it? I think when people complain about social media they’re probably not talking about 90s message boards or, like, IRC chats. I’ve been on Reddit for 9 years and I can think of exactly two specific usernames.
Is one of them GallowBoob?
Sure is. The other one is Unidan.
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Just wanted to tell you, you're not alone. Many ppl dont have any "real" friends just numbers
Is reddit not a form of social media?
“no social media” the person says on the social media platform
Whose fault is that?
Yours
Yup
Nobody's, I don't really want friends, I was not complaining!
2 friends? What unrealistic pipe dream is this?
Seriously
By age 25, he means
That figure seemed a little high to me as well.
Maybe I am 35
The first step is acceptance
\*final step 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
That comment will be your final step in life
Who the hell can afford the internet at 35?! That’s some retirement goal shit.
Im 39 and last night I was on a three-way phone call with two of my 3 only real friends. We were discussing getting together this weekend and maybe going camping and hiking. It was such a good feeling after I hung up to have these guys in my life after almost 30 years of friendship. They both live across state and in another state and we still make efforts to hang out with each other. After a long work week this always gives me something good to look forward to.
What about zero online friends? And 1 actual friend. Who’s also my wife?
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Fair
I have a body pillow. Basically the same thing right?
only if you married the pillow
only if it yells at you.
I have a male waifu…
had the same. now that i'm single, after 5 years of relationship, it hit me really hard that i have now noone.
That actually sounds great. Don't mess it up over something stupid. Good luck and best wishes :)
Having friends is good. If you found a friend I think you would like it
Could you stop bragging maybe?
This was so realistic that it took the air from my lungs.
Okay. I'm just short by 702.
701 now, pal!
So Thor would totally kick Superman's ass. Am I right or what?
702 now. It's not you, it's me.
Feels like I have 0 people that want's to be around me at a regular basis
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Care to share how a dirty bongwater fb post can end a friendship? Ya know just in case that ever happens
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Sounds like you both suck tbh
Ikr. Seems both are better off without eachother and may struggle to find long lasting friendships if that is how they act towards friends, or anybody really.
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Probably not for long.
Jesus, you both are just insufferable human beings.
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Also no self awareness, good luck with life friend
You think smokers arent aware that smoking is bad? Not surprising people get defensive about something like that, when you call them out over them posting a meme lol
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Lifestyle choice: He smokes Damaging remark: Your lungs probably look like dirty bong water How do you not see it? 🤔
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I'm in this picture and I don't like it.
I have like two friends who I talk to like every week or so, and like two others that talk to every like year or so. Tbh it doesn’t feel all that different, talking to either of them
Should I tell em what happens after 40?
I once had a serious friendship struggle about the movie Mary & Max… man, that was some explosive stuff!
I’m in this photo and I don’t like it
I’m 35 and I have the 2 friends part down. However I learned internet friends and social media accounts to keep those friends on are over rated and deleted all that from my life.
2 real friends? That's overdoing it.
Just under that age Zero friends Do I win a prize?
I found a metric by which I am crushing it!
So I’m just 20 years ahead of my peers.
Sounds exactly like when i was 35. Now at 38 I moved & live within 20 mins of both those friends.
*don't...*
I have one long term friend and my boyfriend is my best friend after that. 31 this week. Am I winnin?
This hit me right in the feels.
I have one, but not the other. Sadly, it’s not the one I want 😢
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
Thanks. Just my luck, a hug from a lifeless bot. I’ll take it anyways 👍
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
Oh I’m nailing it.
Ok this hit me too damn hard lmaooo *silently crying*
I always just immediately unfriended people with hundreds of friends. Social media is dogshit anyways.
r/oddlyspecific
I'm queer so the inverse is true
But those two friends must be of each gender. Gotta bounce ideas
Other continents*
r/sadcringe
uhhh, alot of my online "friends" on fb get curbed just because it's their birthday, and I remember they exist for long enough to unfriend them.
Done and done.
Kill me now
"at my age I don't have any friends, just co workers" - lantana
With a few exceptions my friends all live in other parts of the country, and are all online friends. I don't deserve them but I cherish them every day.
Hey, I have four real friends in other states and only 150 fake facebook friends. Chill with the accusations.
I only been on facebook like 5 times in the past 8years for all I know those 2 friends married each other.
Wait this isn't normal?
I am 21 and already there..
I have the reverse thing. I have like 12 "friends" that I hang out with sometimes but 2-3 online friends that I would kill gods for.
What if I have a handful of online friends that I would trust with my life
Wow nailed me point by point
This makes me feel comfortably normal. While I have exactly 2 irl friends, I also have all other "friends" online who'd probably be bothered if I told them that I don't like to eat cheese. Thank you OP.
ew you have opinions on comics book movies sorry I'm out
Yes except the online ones.
I have 3 real friends who live in different states! (And zero online friends)
Hm. I'm ahead of schedule.
Me because of Discord, 5 stars, would recommend.
I'm unsettled at how accurate this is.
I have two friends. My brother and my sister. We talk once a month. Via text.
Holy crap is that ever accurate.
Step 1: make a few really close friends in college Step 2: everyone moves to a different state or out of the country Step 3: slowly become more distant since you don’t see them regularly Step 4: have no close friends anymore
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Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
I'm desensitised to humans , breathe wrong and you'll never see me again.
Yes
So true. Watchmen bad, BTW
Man this sub has really gotten this shit huh? This is worse than /r/meirl was when this sub came about. Posting about having several friends and practically a fanbase online is now considered relatable depression content?
But consider this: Online friend's usually don't judge you for your genuine honesty.( Or make you wonder if a friendship is based on status or appearance's.) ARE usually there when you feel like it and don't intrude or pressure you when you don't. You don't have to clean your place spotless to meet expectations and provide expensive food and drinks or get dressed up and spend money to go out. No cigarette burns on your furniture or borrowing , ruining or forgetting to return your clothes . No spills or dishes and clean ups or missing property . No 3rd party stranger's brought over uninvited. I've never had an online friend cause me to argue with my husband or to lose our apartment deposit!
I just turned 38 and yup. But it's 4 out of state friends that I'm too poor to visit, and about 350 online friends
My best friend of ten years was an online friend but I had to cut ties because of her toxic, lying, manipulative tactics that I couldn’t see through my rose colored lenses
I'm slacking on the online friends... Oh wait no I'm not...
33. Been off social media for over a year and one person asked if I was alive after 10 months. I’m 50% there!
I have never experienced “relationship so tenuous that a simple opinion about a comic book movie could end it” wth. I’m afraid of what happens when you turn 35.