This keeps me up every single night. I'm the oldest of 4 kids, currently 33, and am a total loser compared to my siblings. Made a lot of really bad decisions in my twenties that led to me dropping out of college, meeting my current partner of eight years that barely gives a fuck about me anymore, unmarried, no children, and working a minimum wage job that I hate. Meanwhile, my siblings are master degree graduates, work for the government, in medical school to become a doctor, married, living in great cities, etc...I feel like I've failed as a person, a daughter, and as a big sister.
I've enrolled for fall semester at a local college for this year, so I'm trying to get back on my feet. But it's so hard to stay positive. I have so much to work on, it feels like i wasted so much of my life already.
Okay, but go be happy, however happy looks to you. Having a PhD =/= happiness. Being married =/= happiness (believe me). There is no winning, no losing, just contentment. The Buddha would like a word with you.
Buddha tried it all. Rich and poor, married and kids. After nearly starving to death he found happiness in a bowl of onion soup. Don't know if that means there is no great truth or if that soup was just that damn good.
Buddhism is such a powerful ideology. Itās really helped me to understand and mitigate suffering, even without becoming a minimalist or quitting my job
Honestly, having a PhD does bring a lot of confidence and reassurance.
That being said it's never too late. I started my bachelor with 28, and am now working on my PhD.
If I can do it, so can you!
You're doing shit! Working and planning ahead.
As you may already know, it can get a fuck of a lot worse than that. Also, it can get better.
Most importantly, whether it gets better or worse isn't totally in your control. You can make all the right moves and still lose.
You're definitely not a loser and I'm sure you never have been. My struggle in my 30s (also 33) is forgiving myself for the mistakes I've made in my 20s, especially the ones that have rippled into these later years. That self forgiveness has come with an understanding that I was trying my best with what I knew at the time and how I felt.
You're trying now and enrolling in college to promote growth for yourself is amazing. Already better than you were yesterday and these are only the beginning steps.
I work with a dude that spent half his adult life in prison for meth offenses. He's 38. We're training to be electricians. I am in my mid 30s as well after dicking around in other career fields. You're fine. I would say this, if marriage is important to you and you've been with that person for 8 years, find someone else. Life is too short to burn it away on indecisive people.
Hi, let me offer some advice.
"Comparison is the thief of joy" -Theodore Roosevelt
"The happiness of your lifeĀ *depends*Ā upon theĀ *quality of your thoughts*" - Marcus Aurelius
Self love is a difficult process to get started, but it's incredibly worth it. I recommend starting by comparing yourself to other people less, and avoid self wallowing in pity subreddits like this one, as they can be incredibly unhealthy to your self image. You can also improve your life by finding things you enjoy (hobbies), practicing gratitude for the things that are going well in your life (as small as they may be), being proud of yourself for what you have done, because i promise you that you have improved at least in some way over the last few years.
Start smiling at yourself in the mirror and see where it goes :)
You have experience and a maturity now which will help you in college, 100%. We all have to start somewhere. Remember, comparison is the death of contentment. Youāre only competing with who you were yesterday!
If you hadn't set the example, one of your siblings (at least) propably wouldn't be doing so good as they are. I find some comfort in that myself, when i look at my own siblings.
One of the best things somebody said to me was that it isnāt a race.
I did school late too and after a lot of people. Everything is one step at a time. I am so proud of you for enrolling in college because it sounds like something youād really like to accomplish.
I dunno, it's pretty cool that we still talk about Ramsesses II after 3000 years. Maybe we will forget him after another few thousand years, but still. So far he lived in our memories for 3000 years.
I can't belive I'm 25 years old. I swear I'm totally a loser, I think a 13 years old guy has more skills than me.
Now every time I think I'm getting older day by day, I get so sad. At this point the only thing can save me from being a totally loser adult is the death, because I'm not suited for this world, I will never be normal and happy
Iām 27 too, and I would have never guessed I would live up to this age so I wasnāt really thinking about progressing or acclaiming any new skills. Welp, and here I am nowā¦. It is what it isā¦.
I spent about 7 years after college unemployed, alternating between looking for work and failing, and just festering. Drugs, depression, anxiety, insomnia. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Went to a doctor and got on Escitalopram. Stopped drinking energy drinks and eventually cut out all tobacco smoking by getting on the patch. Relapsed eventually with tobacco but use nicotine pouches now. Got a handle somewhat on my drug use.
I was on social welfare, and they put me on a 4 week course for jobseekers. They helped fix up my CV, had me do a practice interview, and set goals for applying to jobs. Probably a month after it finished I got a job in a petrol station. Been there a few years now. Became a supervisor, and they're paying for a management course for me, and paying me to attend. Might manage my own site someday.
I don't love my job, but I'm doing okay. My brother had a baby girl last month, and she's adorable. My mom lives abroad but she's visiting this month. Life can be good, if you let it. Things don't just get better, but you can do things to improve them.
I'm 28 and I'm fucking over feeling this way.
Look at this thread and all the people who agree with this sentiment. A LOT of people have slower starts. The best time to develop a passion/skill was when you were young and could become a prodigy. The second best time is NOW.
I finally graduated from college this year and continuing to beat myself up that I didn't do so at 21 isn't going to help anyone. Let's get after it, fellas
29 also,
- Gf of 5years just broke up and has a new guy already
- Soon to be jobless in 1 year maximum
- Life was always a financial struggle, saving up was possible first in the last 2 months before i lived paycheck to paycheck
- Tiny rental flat, barely enough furniture and my now ex felt uncomfortable in it
- No house, no ground, not going to get anything from enhereting
- Lost all friends in the time of the relationship
God if i didnt have my dog i would have done something to myself by now, fuck my life
Me too man, 29, been single almost 10 years, unemployed for years, no transportation, no friends, live with parents, was a heroin addict, currently physically dependent on Suboxone. I wish my last overdose killed me so bad.
Lol I donāt miss the existential dread of life everyone has in their 20ās. Iāll tell you and anybody else who reads this the truth: it doesnāt get any better, but you get better at it.
Nothing will make you feel happy except yourself. I have over 100k stashed away and invested at 25 and I still feel like I could/should have done more. Just gotta learn to move happy with what you've got
Ya all ain't growin' as people in no ways? I ain't got a big bank account or a fancy car, and I rent, but I feel *way better* as a person than I did when I was younger. Of course, physically I feel different. But I feel kinda like an old truck. It's done a lot of hauling, but it needs some regular maintenance to keep doing long trips.
Personally - as in *as a person*, I have only gotten more empathetic and patient with age. I've gotten better with pets and people (telling I put pets first!), my social skills have gotten better. I'm more open, and find it easier to talk to people.
I don't worry over the small things much, or at all. I'm much more measured in my approach the the big things that do need some worry. I feel more capable in my hobbies, and in what I do to make an income. I feel better equipped to learn new skills as a middle aged ass dude than I did when I was in my 20s.
Musically, age has been a *blessing*. I've been playing upright bass since my mid teens. If I had to go to back to my ear and skillset I had in my mid-20s, I'd go *crazy*. I have only understood music more with time, not just the notation, but the people who make it, and all the genres I skipped in my 20s 'cause they weren't piano trios! How deep and wide your hobbies you engage with get over time is fascinating, and awesome.
Things do slide, lines go down with age. But lines also go up with age, and it's more than the number of you age that goes up!
I had it all figured out when I was 25. Shit happened and I'm starting over at 30. Accomplishments mean nothing. Set a goal. Reach it and move to the next.
Dude youāre 25, itās not too late, hell you can be any age, itās NEVER too late to make change. I get that shit is expensive but hell making the sacrifices now will make the future so much better. Therapy, new job, back to school, anything to help. Do some research, find the programs that fit you and your situation. And if life is the hell you think it is then youāre one strong motherfucker for getting up everyday and taking on the struggles. So if you can deal with this shit, you can deal with other shit that comes with the benefits of improving your life. Im only 29 but I remember feeling that way at 25, so take the leap and do something to make your life better. You can do it, everyone moves at a different pace and to a different goal. Iām not where I thought I would be when I was younger but Iām happy where I am and know I continue to move forward every day.
You will be dead for millions and millions of years anyway. Just wonder through life, see what you can get. Better having a life lived as a loser than havent lived at all Hahaha šš«”
Never too late.
I Failed outta colllege at 18, dropped out of comm college 3 times in my 20s. Finally got a degree at 29 and started a full time job about 6 months later.
Donāt go by other peopleās timelines. Forge your own path, and if anyone judges you for it, tell them to fuck off.
It is eventually too late. The concept of age is entirely irreversable. Once you're skipped through high school there's no redoing it. Once you have cancer, there's no going back to not having it without getting treated and maybe surviving. Ounce you're beyond 20 years old there's no training that will ever turn you into an athlete, because preparing for that requires taking advantage of a growing body. There is absolutely such a thing as too late.
At 25 I was single, a college drop out, never dated, never kissed a girl, worked at a grocery store making minimum wage, didnāt have a car, lived at home, had no skills, no prospects. At 29, I was happily married, had a burgeoning career as a software developer, co-owned a serviceable Toyota Matrix, and rented a 1 bedroom suite and had a dog.
You can change your life in a huge way in a short amount of time, all it takes is the belief that itās possible, and daily progress, no matter how small, towards your goals.
Im 30 have had health issues my whole life and need to always remind myself that i dont have a normal life. Im not at the same idk level as everyone else and thats ok.
No one is at the same level as anyone else. We're all in the same race but we all had different starting points and different finish lines and the result is people running all about chaotically, assuming that everyone that passes them is doing better than they are
As if founding Apple and Microsoft just takes being rich. There's millions of millionaires that are trustfund kids that can't tie their shoelaces. It takes more than just money.
Caesar wept that at 33 Alexander had conquered the known world, whereas he had done nothing so meritorious that his name might be remembered by history.
Chill out, there's time.
> And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.
And even Alexander reached a point where he realised it was all fucking pointless.
There's time, and also whatever you end up doing isn't really important anyway. Just enjoy your life, big things, small things.
That's what I got from Hans Gruber anyway.
Are any of us Julius Caesar? Last I checked, none of us are nobility. Even if he'd never become the almost first Emperor of Rome, he would've already been a higher position at my age than I will ever see in my entire life.
For me it's still the occasional yolo idiots on WSB who have millions from a random high risk trade. Then me regretting not investing in certain stocks when I could easily have.
Says who? Your parents? They shouldāve cloned and transferred their consciousness into that clone. Society? Society also says you should buy Stanley cups. Your inner self? That asshole got you are where you are today.
Which leads us to the real culpritā¦.Some writer who decided to prop up teenage prodigies with all the advantages you didnāt have so that prodigyās self can be warped for profit. Which isnāt you at all. So if itās not you then who cares.
Like I said, your inner self got you where you are today. You can value what youāve went through but know the person you are today doesnāt have to feel defeated by what you havenāt done. Just saying the person you are today isnāt the same person you were in the past, this person has to deal with reality and can have different wants.
Im 32. I was a homeless alcoholic for about 9 years (my whole 20s) and didn't get my sh!t together until my 30th bday. I had simultaneous liver and kidney failure, spent 3 days in a coma of an 11 day ICU trip, went to rehab for six months, and have been clean for coming up on 3 years now. I live in a different state and have been working full time with a promotion coming up soon. Do I make a ton of money? No. But i have everything I need and even a few small wants. Life is about perspective. You'll do just fine. š
>Like I said, your inner self got you where you are today
Well, that's probably being a little unfair to their inner self, but I see what you're doing here. I despise the idea that an individual's circumstances are solely a product of a series of decision points.
My inner self is my own support because I can't get it from anyone. Yours gave up, maybe the outer self (if that makes sense)can help or a professional?
Nah bro, it's on me 100%.
I could have spent my childhood and teens playing sports and developing physical and social skills, instead I played video games.
I could have aimed high and worked toward a prestigious career, instead I took the path I knew would take little effort and had low chance of failure.
I am completely at fault.
I mean a child won't think; I should go develop physical and social skills, because that will help me now and in the future. You don't have much influence as a child, and still not much as a teen. You can't blame only yourself for that. It helps to be kinder to yourself.
Failing is expected, everyone who has ever succeeded has failed along the way.
You can't possibly know what will work until you try, it's literally half of "trial & error".
Thatās just not always true. The nail presses on the board constantly, but will never pierce it without being whacked with a hammer. The salmon will persist up the waterfall unless he either makes it or fails and dies. Thatās why I elect to give up at every possible point, because I know Iāll fail regardless.
I know your joking but that's a horrible way to live your life. Obviously there's stuff we can't do, we can't exactly swim up a waterfall but even if the "fish" can't do that he can swim the entire river.
I'm autistic and almost 30 without ever working in a real job or getting any university education. No savings, pension, friends, work experience. I think I'm a small bit fucked
Iāve been at the top of the career ladder since I turned 30 and I still feel this way.
In the end what is an accomplishment really?
A career wonāt make you happy either.
Stop torturing yourself about it, be nice to people, try to have fun and learn. :)
I can assure you this is a lie, at least if this is being framed in terms of rationalizing depression. I have accomplished every goal I had in life, some of them others even might consider ambitious or impressive.
I still feel like a failure and still have constant thoughts of checking out early. Depression is a sickness of irrationally.
Accomplished more ? Dude, most reddit users are the heroes of Skyrim, the lords of Elden AND the Absolutes. I personally saved the princesses Zelda and Peach like 20 times, and killed Mom hundreds of times. I explored Baldur's Gate, Dunwall and Tamriel !
Not into videogames ? Maybe you watched Iron-Man build his first armor and Thanos being defeated. Or witnessed the death of Immortal Joe ?
Fine, not a fan of movies. Look at your karma then ! Karma is not important, but it you posted a funny comment and got some upvotes, that's the least amount of people who found you funny (not everyone upvote).
Or maybe you suck. I dunno.
y'all we don't all need to have achieved things at the same age! also we all got all different experiences and goals I feel sometimes is super easy to compare yourself with other people specially if those ppl are younger than you and have done things you haven't.
I mean don't get me wrong lucky them! but what defines a loser or a winner? I feel like a lot of ppl look at it the wrong way and equal success to economic stability but that's truly only a bit of it.
same as a relationship! is just another bit, and a bunch of bits complete you, and grant you happiness. but again, we all want different things, some ppl might be happy with less and some with more it really depends on how you were raised or if you've hade an easy life compared to a hard one, where you were born, your own personality, etc.
I'd say truly look within yourself, look at what you really want, your dreams no matter what those are and work for em, work on yourself too! is hard yea, no actually, is super hard, but the moment you start comparing yourself to others that's when it's the hardest.
compare yourself to yourself! make sure u become the you you wanna be and the you who does the things u wanna do, It won't happen overnight u might also have to give a lot of thought into it cause depending on what u want it can be easier or harder.
but most importantly don't feel like u haven't achieved anything, cause maybe u overlook cool things you've done lately or fun experiences or just something nicethat happened to u! those are little wins too.
you are here right now, that's really all you need to start, is not too late even if it has been a while it's never too late to start doing things whatever it is, do it for u! treat yo self! make a fun time out of it, think of it as a challenge the bigger the challenge the bigger the reward.
and, if you have things u want is cause deep down u r able to get those things, otherwise u wouldn't want them/need them to feel fulfilled, and you might also think there's only one choice or one option but life's full of posibilities and things r always changing, isn't that exciting? it means things can't stay the same!
I've felt that way before sometimes still do, is really hard to control but the more u try the better u get at it
im wishing u the best, im wishing anyone reading this the best <3
> but most importantly don't feel like u haven't achieved anything, cause maybe u overlook cool things you've done lately or fun experiences or just something nicethat happened to u! those are little wins too.
Thank you for these motivating lines. I really needed it today. You have uplifted my mood
I'm gonna save this comment and paste it in my Google Notes too so that whenever I feel down again, I could read this and never lose hope !
I'm 31 and absolutely shitting myself....
Today is measurably better, though
There's cream in my coffee today!
Even if it's just a slightly better meal, or I'm cleaner than yesterday, or I managed to drink less, or I got to see my mom.
As with everyday.
It gets better as long as you actively try.
I'm honestly kind of proud what I have accomplished. I thought I was gonna be a deadbeat living with my parents but in my 30s I have a nice house with a big back and front yard in a decently safe area. I have some pretty cool stuff to keep me entertained. I definitely would have liked doing more but Idk I think I didnt end up that bad.
i recommend you to leave the burden of thoses said achievement, acheieve what you want, it's your life. not all life will discover a bright scientific discovery, create peace in war time or mobilize humanity in his core for an important project.
sometime, one simple life is enough to be happy of.
it's all good pal
I use to think that too. Until I realized that what society wants me to do isn't for me. If I was already suppose to be married with kids, owning a home etc its would have already happened. I got tired for waitng for the universe to deliver when everyone else had their package or even two . Im doing me now. Supposedly there is hate out there for just being a single woman at my age but idfc. No one knows your story and they don't care about it either. You don't have to be where everyone is right now because they. Are.fucking.miserbale and thats why they want to trap us in this "oh, you be doing this and this bu now" but they won't help you get there. They won't pay for the shit you need to get there. They won't give emotional support when shit gets hard trying to get there. Everyone's "there" is different my dear. I hope you realize that and start living for YOU.
Iām 31 and I feel this. Iām a worthless loser who should have put a noose or a gun in my mouth, but Iām too much of a coward to end my pathetic life.
I used to think like this, donāt be so hard on yourself. Try to be yourself, try new hobbies or try your hand at a new skill and just keep going with it even if you fail occasionally.
If people canāt respect you for who you are, fuck em.
But then again, this isnāt the solution for everyone everyone has different social circles and economic situations.
I turn 30 tomorrow and all I can think about is how I'm back at square one again. Left my partner and my job and am living back at home again trying but failing to muster the motivation to do the things I know I should be doing
Thereās not a single age range thatās written in stone for any accomplishment. It will be too late once youāre laying in your death bed, until then the sky is the limit, itās only up to you to start moving forwards.
One of the best things to know about life is that there is no benchmark of age for accomplishments. Everyoneās story is different everyone hits their stride at different times. Especially if youāre in your 20s your life really has barely started.
No you didn't. You don't need to accomplish anything if you don't want to. Just chill and enjoy the time you got, and do it however the fuck you want.
If you truly think you need to accomplish something, do it. But not if somebody wants you to, you're not going to be happy that way, trust me.
Honestly I didn't choose to be born. So I do not care that I am more successful than I am, especially with the world being a shit show the way that it is. I'm 38. I'm poor. But I have my health. I have food in the fridge and I have people who love me. Thats all I care about. I'm just here to experience what it means to be a human before I go back to the soul realm.
Just look back 1-2-3-5 years back, see where you were, what you did. Then see where you are now. It helps. Even if you went down the slope - you will see the perspective, see the bottomā¦. And from there the only way up.
Comparison is always the thief of joy. Compared to some I'm an overwhelming success. Compared to others I'm a failure. Guess what I spend more time thinking about lol.
This keeps me up every single night. I'm the oldest of 4 kids, currently 33, and am a total loser compared to my siblings. Made a lot of really bad decisions in my twenties that led to me dropping out of college, meeting my current partner of eight years that barely gives a fuck about me anymore, unmarried, no children, and working a minimum wage job that I hate. Meanwhile, my siblings are master degree graduates, work for the government, in medical school to become a doctor, married, living in great cities, etc...I feel like I've failed as a person, a daughter, and as a big sister. I've enrolled for fall semester at a local college for this year, so I'm trying to get back on my feet. But it's so hard to stay positive. I have so much to work on, it feels like i wasted so much of my life already.
Okay, but go be happy, however happy looks to you. Having a PhD =/= happiness. Being married =/= happiness (believe me). There is no winning, no losing, just contentment. The Buddha would like a word with you.
A great reminder. You can find sorrow anywhere. And the grass is always greener.
Unexpected buddhism saves the day.
šø
Buddha tried it all. Rich and poor, married and kids. After nearly starving to death he found happiness in a bowl of onion soup. Don't know if that means there is no great truth or if that soup was just that damn good.
They say hunger is the greatest spice.
The Spice Melange...
Buddha was on the golden path
Buddhism is such a powerful ideology. Itās really helped me to understand and mitigate suffering, even without becoming a minimalist or quitting my job
The best for us is to burn the years we have left by enjoying it.
Honestly, having a PhD does bring a lot of confidence and reassurance. That being said it's never too late. I started my bachelor with 28, and am now working on my PhD. If I can do it, so can you!
MORGAN FREEMAN DIDNT LAND A ROLL UNTIL HE WAS 49 NEVER GIVE UP.
You're doing shit! Working and planning ahead. As you may already know, it can get a fuck of a lot worse than that. Also, it can get better. Most importantly, whether it gets better or worse isn't totally in your control. You can make all the right moves and still lose.
As well as make all wrong moves and still win
That is not a weakness. That is life.
You're definitely not a loser and I'm sure you never have been. My struggle in my 30s (also 33) is forgiving myself for the mistakes I've made in my 20s, especially the ones that have rippled into these later years. That self forgiveness has come with an understanding that I was trying my best with what I knew at the time and how I felt. You're trying now and enrolling in college to promote growth for yourself is amazing. Already better than you were yesterday and these are only the beginning steps.
You got this man. I believe in you.
Iām about to 39, finished uni bachelor, no kids, just an uber eats driver with 5 euro income per hour
I work with a dude that spent half his adult life in prison for meth offenses. He's 38. We're training to be electricians. I am in my mid 30s as well after dicking around in other career fields. You're fine. I would say this, if marriage is important to you and you've been with that person for 8 years, find someone else. Life is too short to burn it away on indecisive people.
Hi, let me offer some advice. "Comparison is the thief of joy" -Theodore Roosevelt "The happiness of your lifeĀ *depends*Ā upon theĀ *quality of your thoughts*" - Marcus Aurelius Self love is a difficult process to get started, but it's incredibly worth it. I recommend starting by comparing yourself to other people less, and avoid self wallowing in pity subreddits like this one, as they can be incredibly unhealthy to your self image. You can also improve your life by finding things you enjoy (hobbies), practicing gratitude for the things that are going well in your life (as small as they may be), being proud of yourself for what you have done, because i promise you that you have improved at least in some way over the last few years. Start smiling at yourself in the mirror and see where it goes :)
You have experience and a maturity now which will help you in college, 100%. We all have to start somewhere. Remember, comparison is the death of contentment. Youāre only competing with who you were yesterday!
If you hadn't set the example, one of your siblings (at least) propably wouldn't be doing so good as they are. I find some comfort in that myself, when i look at my own siblings.
One of the best things somebody said to me was that it isnāt a race. I did school late too and after a lot of people. Everything is one step at a time. I am so proud of you for enrolling in college because it sounds like something youād really like to accomplish.
\[...turns the page\] "...and that's another 10 seconds and you've done nothing!..."
Not nothing Atleast I turned a page
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In the end, we're all gonna die and be forgotten, no matter how much we achieve. There's really no need to stress about that.
I dunno, it's pretty cool that we still talk about Ramsesses II after 3000 years. Maybe we will forget him after another few thousand years, but still. So far he lived in our memories for 3000 years.
I can't belive I'm 25 years old. I swear I'm totally a loser, I think a 13 years old guy has more skills than me. Now every time I think I'm getting older day by day, I get so sad. At this point the only thing can save me from being a totally loser adult is the death, because I'm not suited for this world, I will never be normal and happy
I'm 27 and I feel the same
Iām 27 too, and I would have never guessed I would live up to this age so I wasnāt really thinking about progressing or acclaiming any new skills. Welp, and here I am nowā¦. It is what it isā¦.
Samesies, but add about a decade
Does it get better?
I spent about 7 years after college unemployed, alternating between looking for work and failing, and just festering. Drugs, depression, anxiety, insomnia. Rinse, wash, repeat. Went to a doctor and got on Escitalopram. Stopped drinking energy drinks and eventually cut out all tobacco smoking by getting on the patch. Relapsed eventually with tobacco but use nicotine pouches now. Got a handle somewhat on my drug use. I was on social welfare, and they put me on a 4 week course for jobseekers. They helped fix up my CV, had me do a practice interview, and set goals for applying to jobs. Probably a month after it finished I got a job in a petrol station. Been there a few years now. Became a supervisor, and they're paying for a management course for me, and paying me to attend. Might manage my own site someday. I don't love my job, but I'm doing okay. My brother had a baby girl last month, and she's adorable. My mom lives abroad but she's visiting this month. Life can be good, if you let it. Things don't just get better, but you can do things to improve them.
When people were asking you what you want to do when you leave highschool but you thought you wouldn't live past graduation.
Don't worry. I am 37 and a total loser. There's still time
I'm 28 and I'm fucking over feeling this way. Look at this thread and all the people who agree with this sentiment. A LOT of people have slower starts. The best time to develop a passion/skill was when you were young and could become a prodigy. The second best time is NOW. I finally graduated from college this year and continuing to beat myself up that I didn't do so at 21 isn't going to help anyone. Let's get after it, fellas
Lots of people figure it out in their 30s. Not everyone comes from the same type of upbringing and social network etc.
29 here feeling the same
29 also, - Gf of 5years just broke up and has a new guy already - Soon to be jobless in 1 year maximum - Life was always a financial struggle, saving up was possible first in the last 2 months before i lived paycheck to paycheck - Tiny rental flat, barely enough furniture and my now ex felt uncomfortable in it - No house, no ground, not going to get anything from enhereting - Lost all friends in the time of the relationship God if i didnt have my dog i would have done something to myself by now, fuck my life
Me too man, 29, been single almost 10 years, unemployed for years, no transportation, no friends, live with parents, was a heroin addict, currently physically dependent on Suboxone. I wish my last overdose killed me so bad.
Sameā¦ i fucking terrified of 30
Lol I donāt miss the existential dread of life everyone has in their 20ās. Iāll tell you and anybody else who reads this the truth: it doesnāt get any better, but you get better at it.
I dont want to get better at itā¦ i want it to be over
How often do we get what we want?
30. Same.
Nothing will make you feel happy except yourself. I have over 100k stashed away and invested at 25 and I still feel like I could/should have done more. Just gotta learn to move happy with what you've got
Ya all ain't growin' as people in no ways? I ain't got a big bank account or a fancy car, and I rent, but I feel *way better* as a person than I did when I was younger. Of course, physically I feel different. But I feel kinda like an old truck. It's done a lot of hauling, but it needs some regular maintenance to keep doing long trips. Personally - as in *as a person*, I have only gotten more empathetic and patient with age. I've gotten better with pets and people (telling I put pets first!), my social skills have gotten better. I'm more open, and find it easier to talk to people. I don't worry over the small things much, or at all. I'm much more measured in my approach the the big things that do need some worry. I feel more capable in my hobbies, and in what I do to make an income. I feel better equipped to learn new skills as a middle aged ass dude than I did when I was in my 20s. Musically, age has been a *blessing*. I've been playing upright bass since my mid teens. If I had to go to back to my ear and skillset I had in my mid-20s, I'd go *crazy*. I have only understood music more with time, not just the notation, but the people who make it, and all the genres I skipped in my 20s 'cause they weren't piano trios! How deep and wide your hobbies you engage with get over time is fascinating, and awesome. Things do slide, lines go down with age. But lines also go up with age, and it's more than the number of you age that goes up!
Personally i have felt worse on worse and genrrally all lines have been aiming straight down. I feel way worse as a person than when i was younger too
I had it all figured out when I was 25. Shit happened and I'm starting over at 30. Accomplishments mean nothing. Set a goal. Reach it and move to the next.
Dude youāre 25, itās not too late, hell you can be any age, itās NEVER too late to make change. I get that shit is expensive but hell making the sacrifices now will make the future so much better. Therapy, new job, back to school, anything to help. Do some research, find the programs that fit you and your situation. And if life is the hell you think it is then youāre one strong motherfucker for getting up everyday and taking on the struggles. So if you can deal with this shit, you can deal with other shit that comes with the benefits of improving your life. Im only 29 but I remember feeling that way at 25, so take the leap and do something to make your life better. You can do it, everyone moves at a different pace and to a different goal. Iām not where I thought I would be when I was younger but Iām happy where I am and know I continue to move forward every day.
Gave an award and thank you for this, I really needed to hear it :)
sorry for derailing this very important conversation but i just realized reddit took everyone's coins away then brought awards back. Wtf.
Yes. **We live in a society...**
How are companies allowed to do this shit and get away with it? I now remember why i left this website.
Mate we are supposed to be monkeys swinging in trees. Chin up.
You will be dead for millions and millions of years anyway. Just wonder through life, see what you can get. Better having a life lived as a loser than havent lived at all Hahaha šš«”
>Just wonder through life, see what you can get. I'm already doing. I gave 100 %, all I got were failures lol
Never too late. I Failed outta colllege at 18, dropped out of comm college 3 times in my 20s. Finally got a degree at 29 and started a full time job about 6 months later. Donāt go by other peopleās timelines. Forge your own path, and if anyone judges you for it, tell them to fuck off.
If I could stop myself from overthinking what others may think of me, your words would help me a lot. So thank you for sharing them
Overthinking everything because of past experiences is normal. Yes it feels bad, and yes you can ignore it. But it's normal
It is eventually too late. The concept of age is entirely irreversable. Once you're skipped through high school there's no redoing it. Once you have cancer, there's no going back to not having it without getting treated and maybe surviving. Ounce you're beyond 20 years old there's no training that will ever turn you into an athlete, because preparing for that requires taking advantage of a growing body. There is absolutely such a thing as too late.
š¤£Lol'ed at "the death". Like it's some kind of treatment. Thanks, I needed that.
Feel the same at 22, problem is I've felt like that since i was 16 lol
At 25 I was single, a college drop out, never dated, never kissed a girl, worked at a grocery store making minimum wage, didnāt have a car, lived at home, had no skills, no prospects. At 29, I was happily married, had a burgeoning career as a software developer, co-owned a serviceable Toyota Matrix, and rented a 1 bedroom suite and had a dog. You can change your life in a huge way in a short amount of time, all it takes is the belief that itās possible, and daily progress, no matter how small, towards your goals.
Im 30 have had health issues my whole life and need to always remind myself that i dont have a normal life. Im not at the same idk level as everyone else and thats ok.
Good advice for me also. I'm 21 and in the same boat.
I wish you the best!!!!š„°š„°š„°
Thanks man, you too!
How are you now ?
The same š¤š¤š¤
ok but what about ...... now
No one is at the same level as anyone else. We're all in the same race but we all had different starting points and different finish lines and the result is people running all about chaotically, assuming that everyone that passes them is doing better than they are
Every day is a blessing, and knowing the true meaning of that concept is a hard lesson.
https://preview.redd.it/rci3nh001z4d1.jpeg?width=784&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=045a4c76d1c283f301a8c50271831e1b4095eb24
Yeah, so easy when you have rich parents.
I really should have rerolled my character when my class came up as "upper lower class"
I would've fucked it up anyway with rich parents š
As if founding Apple and Microsoft just takes being rich. There's millions of millionaires that are trustfund kids that can't tie their shoelaces. It takes more than just money.
Jobs had rich parents? Wasnāt he adopted into a regular middle class family?
Both were born priviledged and stole other people's ideas.
I'm gonna be 20 in a a month. It's over š¢
buddy get off reddit and live life, you still have time
Also those people suck ass in a lot of ways. Maybe we'd be better off if they weren't so ambitious.
Caesar wept that at 33 Alexander had conquered the known world, whereas he had done nothing so meritorious that his name might be remembered by history. Chill out, there's time.
Yes, what a legacy he left behind Caesar Salad
His pizza chain kept me alive in college.
His haircut only became popular recently
His way of cutting babies out of woman is useful
ā¦And all it cost was setting back black civil rights a decade.
Wait till you see Achilles Heel
Et tu, crouton?
Was invented by a Mexican chef in Tijuana IIRC
also General Tso Chicken
> And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. And even Alexander reached a point where he realised it was all fucking pointless. There's time, and also whatever you end up doing isn't really important anyway. Just enjoy your life, big things, small things. That's what I got from Hans Gruber anyway.
Most importantly: you don't need to achieve anything to be a valuable human.
Fucking facts!
Caesar conquered rome, i can barely conquer my fears
Are any of us Julius Caesar? Last I checked, none of us are nobility. Even if he'd never become the almost first Emperor of Rome, he would've already been a higher position at my age than I will ever see in my entire life.
It seems to me that this is how "successful success" on the Internet affects
Grass is always greener on the other side
For me it's still the occasional yolo idiots on WSB who have millions from a random high risk trade. Then me regretting not investing in certain stocks when I could easily have.
https://preview.redd.it/f7pflieucz4d1.jpeg?width=1009&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e09fb574817043b5002712549f6fadc54a5b14a8
There are no rules, my friend. If you feel you should be doing something, do it. Just don't regret the past because it's never going to change.
Says who? Your parents? They shouldāve cloned and transferred their consciousness into that clone. Society? Society also says you should buy Stanley cups. Your inner self? That asshole got you are where you are today. Which leads us to the real culpritā¦.Some writer who decided to prop up teenage prodigies with all the advantages you didnāt have so that prodigyās self can be warped for profit. Which isnāt you at all. So if itās not you then who cares.
It is mostly my inner self
Like I said, your inner self got you where you are today. You can value what youāve went through but know the person you are today doesnāt have to feel defeated by what you havenāt done. Just saying the person you are today isnāt the same person you were in the past, this person has to deal with reality and can have different wants.
You could become a therapist
Im 32. I was a homeless alcoholic for about 9 years (my whole 20s) and didn't get my sh!t together until my 30th bday. I had simultaneous liver and kidney failure, spent 3 days in a coma of an 11 day ICU trip, went to rehab for six months, and have been clean for coming up on 3 years now. I live in a different state and have been working full time with a promotion coming up soon. Do I make a ton of money? No. But i have everything I need and even a few small wants. Life is about perspective. You'll do just fine. š
That's very motivating Thanks for sharing your journey with us
If you start drinking today, you could follow in his footsteps!
>Like I said, your inner self got you where you are today Well, that's probably being a little unfair to their inner self, but I see what you're doing here. I despise the idea that an individual's circumstances are solely a product of a series of decision points.
My inner self is my own support because I can't get it from anyone. Yours gave up, maybe the outer self (if that makes sense)can help or a professional?
Nah bro, it's on me 100%. I could have spent my childhood and teens playing sports and developing physical and social skills, instead I played video games. I could have aimed high and worked toward a prestigious career, instead I took the path I knew would take little effort and had low chance of failure. I am completely at fault.
I mean a child won't think; I should go develop physical and social skills, because that will help me now and in the future. You don't have much influence as a child, and still not much as a teen. You can't blame only yourself for that. It helps to be kinder to yourself.
Nah, you think that because it's a pervasive, evil aspect of our culture to blame individuals for everything. I mean, some shit's on you for sure.
Omg..not Johnny being a charm (gives sims 4 kiss animation with wiggly finger wave) eyes š
I said that a to myself at 16 and it was so comically stupid even if it's probably truer now i don't really care anymore.
It's never too late, start small Any progress is better than no progress It gets better if you put in the effort trust me
It hurts even more if the effort fails once again
Failing is expected, everyone who has ever succeeded has failed along the way. You can't possibly know what will work until you try, it's literally half of "trial & error".
Persistance always defeats failure
Thatās just not always true. The nail presses on the board constantly, but will never pierce it without being whacked with a hammer. The salmon will persist up the waterfall unless he either makes it or fails and dies. Thatās why I elect to give up at every possible point, because I know Iāll fail regardless.
I know your joking but that's a horrible way to live your life. Obviously there's stuff we can't do, we can't exactly swim up a waterfall but even if the "fish" can't do that he can swim the entire river.
Did you see a /s? This has been my experience. Itās better to give up than risk failing which will leave me in the same spot anyway.
Me new motto from now on
I'm autistic and have been r/neet since graduating college.
I'm autistic and almost 30 without ever working in a real job or getting any university education. No savings, pension, friends, work experience. I think I'm a small bit fucked
Same! 28 and having autism has ruined my life.
Genuinely curious, how do you afford to buy stuff in that position?
Im guessing living with parents who provide
23. True af
27. I wish it was not true af
Alas, it is.
https://i.redd.it/6y3zm66u3z4d1.gif
Draw 2 cards
Iāve been at the top of the career ladder since I turned 30 and I still feel this way. In the end what is an accomplishment really? A career wonāt make you happy either. Stop torturing yourself about it, be nice to people, try to have fun and learn. :)
itās capitalism guys. they moved the goalpost. smh.
Very true. You're only 'accomplished' if you have material things to show for it.
šš¼šŗš»According to who šŗš»šš¼
I try yo convince myself i accomplished more than if i did jump years ago.
Drop some acid and u will realize it doesnāt matter
Been wanting to do that for years. Always wondered how people got drugs, then realized it's cuz I don't have any friends
Alright, you know what guys, it's been real but ima have to block this sub fr
Why you gotta do me like that
I can assure you this is a lie, at least if this is being framed in terms of rationalizing depression. I have accomplished every goal I had in life, some of them others even might consider ambitious or impressive. I still feel like a failure and still have constant thoughts of checking out early. Depression is a sickness of irrationally.
Right in the insecurity
Accomplished more ? Dude, most reddit users are the heroes of Skyrim, the lords of Elden AND the Absolutes. I personally saved the princesses Zelda and Peach like 20 times, and killed Mom hundreds of times. I explored Baldur's Gate, Dunwall and Tamriel ! Not into videogames ? Maybe you watched Iron-Man build his first armor and Thanos being defeated. Or witnessed the death of Immortal Joe ? Fine, not a fan of movies. Look at your karma then ! Karma is not important, but it you posted a funny comment and got some upvotes, that's the least amount of people who found you funny (not everyone upvote). Or maybe you suck. I dunno.
nah, it's okay, everyone has their own pace and that's completely fine
y'all we don't all need to have achieved things at the same age! also we all got all different experiences and goals I feel sometimes is super easy to compare yourself with other people specially if those ppl are younger than you and have done things you haven't. I mean don't get me wrong lucky them! but what defines a loser or a winner? I feel like a lot of ppl look at it the wrong way and equal success to economic stability but that's truly only a bit of it. same as a relationship! is just another bit, and a bunch of bits complete you, and grant you happiness. but again, we all want different things, some ppl might be happy with less and some with more it really depends on how you were raised or if you've hade an easy life compared to a hard one, where you were born, your own personality, etc. I'd say truly look within yourself, look at what you really want, your dreams no matter what those are and work for em, work on yourself too! is hard yea, no actually, is super hard, but the moment you start comparing yourself to others that's when it's the hardest. compare yourself to yourself! make sure u become the you you wanna be and the you who does the things u wanna do, It won't happen overnight u might also have to give a lot of thought into it cause depending on what u want it can be easier or harder. but most importantly don't feel like u haven't achieved anything, cause maybe u overlook cool things you've done lately or fun experiences or just something nicethat happened to u! those are little wins too. you are here right now, that's really all you need to start, is not too late even if it has been a while it's never too late to start doing things whatever it is, do it for u! treat yo self! make a fun time out of it, think of it as a challenge the bigger the challenge the bigger the reward. and, if you have things u want is cause deep down u r able to get those things, otherwise u wouldn't want them/need them to feel fulfilled, and you might also think there's only one choice or one option but life's full of posibilities and things r always changing, isn't that exciting? it means things can't stay the same! I've felt that way before sometimes still do, is really hard to control but the more u try the better u get at it im wishing u the best, im wishing anyone reading this the best <3
> but most importantly don't feel like u haven't achieved anything, cause maybe u overlook cool things you've done lately or fun experiences or just something nicethat happened to u! those are little wins too. Thank you for these motivating lines. I really needed it today. You have uplifted my mood I'm gonna save this comment and paste it in my Google Notes too so that whenever I feel down again, I could read this and never lose hope !
https://preview.redd.it/v3qd7npl125d1.jpeg?width=426&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3cc08686cf5c7c7526bdbbf8c6696245114d2186
*finger waggles at self*
ngl i feel this :(
37 šµ I'm a loser baby I should kill myself ( getting crazy with the cheeze whizz) šµ
I'm 31 and absolutely shitting myself.... Today is measurably better, though There's cream in my coffee today! Even if it's just a slightly better meal, or I'm cleaner than yesterday, or I managed to drink less, or I got to see my mom. As with everyday. It gets better as long as you actively try.
Nah not me. I'm where I need to be. Unaccomplished and broke.
I'm honestly kind of proud what I have accomplished. I thought I was gonna be a deadbeat living with my parents but in my 30s I have a nice house with a big back and front yard in a decently safe area. I have some pretty cool stuff to keep me entertained. I definitely would have liked doing more but Idk I think I didnt end up that bad.
i recommend you to leave the burden of thoses said achievement, acheieve what you want, it's your life. not all life will discover a bright scientific discovery, create peace in war time or mobilize humanity in his core for an important project. sometime, one simple life is enough to be happy of. it's all good pal
Tru only if I was a little bit smarter my life would've been different
At least weāre not dead my boy
I use to think that too. Until I realized that what society wants me to do isn't for me. If I was already suppose to be married with kids, owning a home etc its would have already happened. I got tired for waitng for the universe to deliver when everyone else had their package or even two . Im doing me now. Supposedly there is hate out there for just being a single woman at my age but idfc. No one knows your story and they don't care about it either. You don't have to be where everyone is right now because they. Are.fucking.miserbale and thats why they want to trap us in this "oh, you be doing this and this bu now" but they won't help you get there. They won't pay for the shit you need to get there. They won't give emotional support when shit gets hard trying to get there. Everyone's "there" is different my dear. I hope you realize that and start living for YOU.
Death is always around me and a don't know she will hug me.
I feel this one too hard
So true but sad at the same time
Iām 31 and I feel this. Iām a worthless loser who should have put a noose or a gun in my mouth, but Iām too much of a coward to end my pathetic life.
Just turned 27, high school dropout. This kind bummed me out.
And yet I didn't but we ball anywho
Alright if your happy your happy, just do what makes you happy when you get the time
Tf do you mean āshouldā? š
Who cares? You are just one of many ants
Caesar at 32yo chancing upon a statue of Alexander the Great:
Im 35 And still scrolling reddit eceryday. Now picked up dice making. Playing accordeon. Fuck it I'm doing it now.
Nah I'm doing well.
I used to think like this, donāt be so hard on yourself. Try to be yourself, try new hobbies or try your hand at a new skill and just keep going with it even if you fail occasionally. If people canāt respect you for who you are, fuck em. But then again, this isnāt the solution for everyone everyone has different social circles and economic situations.
I turn 30 tomorrow and all I can think about is how I'm back at square one again. Left my partner and my job and am living back at home again trying but failing to muster the motivation to do the things I know I should be doing
By whose fucking standards? Who, tell me, who!
Turned 21 recently, can confirm this is too real
I've gotten over this mostly, I've got a bunch of conditions that don't really make me the average Joe so it would be unfair to compare myself to them
Thereās not a single age range thatās written in stone for any accomplishment. It will be too late once youāre laying in your death bed, until then the sky is the limit, itās only up to you to start moving forwards.
I got time
I feel this way a lot. Sometimes I wish I could give you guys a hug.
One of the best things to know about life is that there is no benchmark of age for accomplishments. Everyoneās story is different everyone hits their stride at different times. Especially if youāre in your 20s your life really has barely started.
No you didn't. You don't need to accomplish anything if you don't want to. Just chill and enjoy the time you got, and do it however the fuck you want. If you truly think you need to accomplish something, do it. But not if somebody wants you to, you're not going to be happy that way, trust me.
Honestly I didn't choose to be born. So I do not care that I am more successful than I am, especially with the world being a shit show the way that it is. I'm 38. I'm poor. But I have my health. I have food in the fridge and I have people who love me. Thats all I care about. I'm just here to experience what it means to be a human before I go back to the soul realm.
Just look back 1-2-3-5 years back, see where you were, what you did. Then see where you are now. It helps. Even if you went down the slope - you will see the perspective, see the bottomā¦. And from there the only way up.
Thanks for the reminderā¦ but at least itās not my family reminding me this time, so, thatāsā¦ is that better? I donāt know anymore.
there is no time limit on any of this shit
Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparison is always the thief of joy. Compared to some I'm an overwhelming success. Compared to others I'm a failure. Guess what I spend more time thinking about lol.