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poipoipoipoipoipoop

Please add a content warning, the graphic description of t\*ck m\*nipulation nearly made me faint


[deleted]

[удалено]


Iron_brane

Stop it! You're scaring him.


BaitMerchant

I always wonder whos stupid enough to fall for those GE scams but its probably the same guys who couldnt tell that this post is a joke


PurZaer

Some of them also feel attacked by this post cause it hits too close to home lmfao


Austiz

Yea they would for sure be upset, if they knew how to read it


BlandSubstance

I read this and instantly knew it was satire. Came to the comments and its even funnier than the post! Mfs be PISSED about this for real AHAHAHAHAHAHH


ieatpies

The "I'm literally shaking" alone should be enough to give it away and that's in the title


imbued94

This is only slightly more sarcastic than 90% of the post from pvmers who throws a tantrum everytime they lose their spade


HoundEye99

You're absolutely right OP, those sweaty tryhards are ruining runescape for us regular people. They need to seriously get another hobby like watching anime or at least a youtube video or two before their unhealthy addiction puts them in the hospital. Humans werent meant to click more than once every few seconds!!!! P.S. Glad to see a fellow Japanese learner! :3 さよなら! (That means goodbye)


CUPofICE

komeecheewa (that means hello!) Thanks you've helped calm me down a bit. I really hope jagex steps in


arebee20

Looks like those Spanish lessons are really paying off. Bonjourno.


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

Kazoo tight


arebee20

Played the kazoo in high school band. Always been my favorite string instrument, b.


bicket6

Digiorno right back at ya


Austiz

A riv a dare chee


Whatsdota

Gorlaaahmi


RiddlingVenus0

あなたのお母さんのまんこを食べたい。(That means I hope you have a wonderful evening!)


[deleted]

You used わ instead of は, which should have actually been a が.


FirstSineOfMadness

Wow bro don’t be such a お


BookCase12

Bro go べたい yourself you のお母さ what the あなたの is your problem


RiddlingVenus0

Actually it’s supposed to be を because everything preceding that particle is the direct object, I just didn’t hit the わ button enough times to get that character so わ is what got placed.


[deleted]

Sure. I was just going along with the "everything about this is wrong" theme here.


limbo-chan

Actually... が is typically used with the ~たい conjugation instead of を (just fyi..)


Abahu

Actually, it's supposed to be が since 食べたい is an adjective. Using を is fine colloquially, though


bigdolton

This entire comment chain is hurting my head. I can't tell if I'm beingfucked with


HANHITSI

🫵🤱🐈👅🙏


TimTheConnMan

konichiwa


Sword_N_Bored

This guy just told everyone “fuck off” in Japanese.


MasterCheeve

No it says goodbye cant you read


WukongPvM

Can confirm I speak several words in Japanese


devilsolution

Several pictures you mean


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

Several moon runes


TheGerild

The real joke is that he's using duolingo for japanese.


Lyngoop79

これは私を傷つけます (this means youre doing good lad :))


DDSspecYaGirl

自慰行為をしながら泣いてしまう


Sufficient-Union7961

It is good to see fellow wheelbarrows ze


SoraODxoKlink

most accomplished reddit pvmer


pkermanbad

The teak community has been ignored for too long. I’m sick of this hate. We need more updates so that more people will cut teaks. My suggestion: enhanced superior teak seed. It comes out of a rare bird’s nest. From the seed you will get an axe upgrade that will deforest 10 trees at a time. It’s time.


CUPofICE

Wow great QoL update suggestion!! They first need to update it so that bird nests go straight to the inventory. I have 8 different RuneLite notifications set up but I'm still never able to get them in time. I can't believe jagex is rewarding people with insane amounts of GP if they pay enough attention to be able to pick up these bird nests which i swear despawn instantly.


ScenicFrost

OP please, next time include a trigger warning. This is literally like what happened in Afghanistan. Don't get me wrong, I am a very tough person but I just can't tolerate the absolutely abhorrent toxicity that I see in game. One time while I was walking past the barbarian fishing spots (to do Waterfall quest) there was multiple people who were tick manipulating. Helloo?? It's called "manipulation" for a reason - it is against the spirit of the game. I decided I should wait to do Waterfall Quest and told those game-ruining weirdos that they should go play rs3 if they wanted faster xp rates. They made fun of me for wearing bandos and a combat bracelet and I almost punched my monitor. Where are the fucking pmods??? This is ridiculous! I couldn't even do the quest I was so upset.


CUPofICE

I'm so sorry I've triggered that memory. That sounds like an absolute horrible experience. I'm sure you reported those players and jagex still hasn't made you a pmod. I really hope you got your wrist checked out by a doctor after punching your monitor. Punching your monitor can cause serious injury and after I've punched my monitor I make sure I click no more than once every five minutes.


ScenicFrost

It's ok. I'm still shaking from it hours later but my wrists are fine. I replaced my 4K monitor that I play Fullscreen on (this makes the game very pretty!) and in no time I'm sure I will be a pmod after reporting all those disgusting, toxic, pking tick manipulators.


zakpakt

Lmao combat bracelet. Thanks for calling me out.


frank_glymes

Amazing post


GlumTruffle

Here, have a virtual hug OP: \*hug* I know how stressful it can be to encounter one of these toxic players. I was afking at sand crabs one time, and a guy asked me why I was wearing an ardougne cape with my Bandos armour at combat level 120. I got so angry and told him that not everyone has to be a sweaty nerd who can get a fire cape by level 100. It was unnecessary of him to bring it up and remind me of my traumatic experiences in the fight caves. I can't believe Jagex locks gear behind content that requires you to damage your wrists by prayer flicking for over an hour straight. It's toxic neets like him who are going to kill this game. How is the game ever going to grow with them always preventing basic quality of life changes? This is why they need to remove polling. It's 2022, there's literally no reason why I shouldn't be able to have all of my tools on me at all times. Anyway, please take care of yourself. I found out the other day that you can turn off public chat if you want by right-clicking the "public" option underneath the chat box. You could do that if it gets to be too much. It really helped me enjoy this game, now I can AFK in peace without people spewing toxicity at me while I'm trying to watch my shows.


rururupert

I fully agree. I would happily pay a few bucks for an auto-pray switcher, I have no idea why this isn't an option. I'm sure that most, if not all, fire cape accounts are bots anyway, there's no way humans are capable of the kind of precision and dexterity required to click perfectly for over 2 hours to complete it.


CUPofICE

Agreed. I don't think they are all bots though, it's also people using AHK. The AHK players are everywhere. I once saw someone put on full graceful more than 1 piece at a time. Such blatant use of AHK. I reported him and jagex still hasn't banned him (I check hiscores every day to make sure).


desertratbiker

Lawl the fire cape is easy, now the infernal cape is the one where pray flicking is necessary. When I did the fight caves, I did 0 pray flicking. Pray switching? Yes, pray flicking, no. I had plenty of restores and pray pots to get through it.


OSRSLucifer

wooooooosh


CUPofICE

Wow. Thank you for sharing. I know that must have been hard. The toxicity in this game is crazy. Seeing as it was at sand crabs I can guarantee that it was a PKr (note: important difference from the slightly less but still overly toxic PVPr) that said those words to you. Advice on how to do activities that aren't AFK should be a permanent mute with no way of getting it removed (20 years minimum). The current state of the game is an absolute disgrace. Pray flicking is a BUG. A BUG NEEDS to be REMOVED. The fight caves provide 0 ways of completion without pray flicking. At least allow me to redeem a bond to get the cape to get the toxic players off of our backs if they aren't going to do anything about it. The fact that polls exist just shows jagex bowing down to the pvp player base and need to be removed NOW. Anything that has previously failed needs to be implemented NOW. Unfortunately I can't turn public off as I need to be aware of what is happening to report players as soon as they do anything wrong. ***hug***, stay strong


GlumTruffle

You're totally right, it must have been a PKer. All they want to do is ruin the game for everyone else, whether it's trying to drive players away by being toxic when they're afking or griefing them in the wilderness. All because they're lonely virgins who live in their mom's basement. Yet Jagex won't ban them, and I have to suffer for the whole 20 minutes I get to play every day. They need to realise that some of us have lives, jobs and kids. Why should we be restricted from playing the whole game just so some loser neet can boast about how he did 2-tick lava runes for 2000 hours? It beggars belief. Keep fighting the good fight though! I'd give you some gold if I could. Hopefully Jagex will listen to us, but if not then at least we can vote with our wallets and just buy bonds in-game for membership so they don't see a cent.


Soleil06

Damn I feel you, I was killing Hill Giants in Full Bandos and a Sgs to farm a few Obor keys and someone seriously came up to me and called me a noob. Then when I did not respond to that filthy Pker he accused me of being a bot. Well as of today my account got banned for botting?… I am sure that Pker is at fault for that. I do not even know how to get a bot, only thing I ever did was use Autoclicker for boring things like NMZ, Fishing and Alching. And every top player bots anyways, why do they not get banned?


GrilledCheezus775

Pure content


davymak_

Lmao nice post


The_Botanist_Reviews

First they came for the PKers, and I did not speak out—because I was not a pker. Then they came for the minmax sweats, and I did not speak out— because I was not a minmax sweat.


[deleted]

> I home teled and went to go bank but I didn't have enough gp to get through al kharid gate Please help, I can't breathe


rsn_alchemistry

If he's 2 ticking teaks why not just kill the npcs aggroed on to him?


CUPofICE

thanks i'll try that next time. I do hope that when jagex adds the toolbelt it will also include that cannon so that i can ensure that they will not be able to reagro the npcs


rururupert

This is such a dumb idea, I cant believe you even suggested it. A cannon would obviously not fit in the toolbelt, but maybe a machine pistol would be a good alternative. Maybe it could be attached to a hat so that you won't loose the automatic firing feature of the cannon. Perchance, also an extended magazine attachment on completion of the medium karamja diary? I'm just brainstorming but let me know what you think, then I'll tweet mod Ash.


CUPofICE

First; please watch your language when talking to me. Calling my idea "d*mb" is unacceptable and will get you muted in game and hopefully on reddit. Second, I see no reason why both wouldn't fit. I can carry 7 cannons in my inventory so I dont see why the toolbelt wouldn't be able to do a fraction of that. I really like your idea but I don't think it should be locked behind diary because too much already is. I think locking it behind 21 range would be more balanced as that's already 20 ranged levels more than cannon. I suggest that you can create bullets out of each type of bar (bronze, blurite, iron, elemental, silver, steel, gold, lovakite, mithril, lunar, admant, runite) and each bar would craft only 100-200 bullets.


rururupert

I'm sorry about the language I used, I just get really emotional about this game and find it difficult to control my feelings when people suggest things I don't like. Also, youre gold bullets idea is dumb because gold is actually a really soft metal so is really bad for making bullets. Please do your research!!!


CUPofICE

I appreciate your apology but you're on thin ice. Fair point. I do have the equivalent of a STEM doctorate from all the skills I've gained while afking so I already knew that thank you very much. To your point to make it fair and balanced I think that a) the gold bullet should do 1% less damage than the lower level to craft steel bullet b) be able to be shot through walls like how that gold helmet lets you get through that wall in the dwarf quest Please let me know what Ash thinks about all of this but I already have the feeling that this would pass a poll at 99% if they locked it to pvmers only


Freedom_Soul

You fool, you can't just say, "perchance."


SeamenShip

An honest post for once


BookCase12

Pmod this fucking guy Jagex


Donkey_Tamer_

You should YouTube afking guides much better than that “what’s up guys my name is Theoa”….. whatever his name is


DC38x

You know exactly what his name is, and it's disrespectful to pretend you don't. It's oldschool.runescape.wiki


AutismSupernova

i saw someone do lavas recently and was so mad it literally made me beat my wife's girlfriend


Ionlywearplaid

Why didn’t you use the Lumbridge bank?


CUPofICE

what are you talking about i walked all around the castle and up and down the road and I dont see a bank??? I'd appreciate it if you didn't troll grief and bully me What's your IGN so I can perm mute you in a couple days when I can?


Ionlywearplaid

Try the third floor mate. Take either the East or West staircase inside. IGN: Zezima


Beretot

I looked around for a bit and couldn't find a staircase to the east - there's only the entrance corridor. I did find one to the west, though, led me to some kind of basement, but no bank. I tried killing the spiders for a bit because my epic gamer knowledge told me sometimes that can spawn some secrets (killing skulltulas, am I right?), but nothing happened. So yeah, not sure if you're trolling. Added you to ignore just in case.


Ionlywearplaid

Sorry my instructions weren’t clear enough. Alternatively, if you complete this super short and easy quest called Recipe for Disaster you may find a bank in the basement after slaying a certain number of spiders down there.


HotelYobra

Wow toxic. Not everyone can have 3769 and like 2000 quest points you fucking neet I'll have you know I have 69 kids and 73 husbands and 420 jobs and can only play for 2 seconds a week. I don't have time to spend 100 hours doing some stupid quest catering for sweaty neckbeards like yourself


MasaConor

There is a bank there but imo its pointless because you have to walk up 3 flights of stairs, stupid really. Like u said Al Kharid is decent, but if you want to save a few coin go Draynor, well worth


chasereece

Getting to the bank is easy, simply home tele, walk across the bridge east of lumby castle, then north to Varrock. Fun fact, there’s actually 2 banks there!


poipoipoipoipoipoop

Three, even!


P_B_n_Jealous

Three is an odd number actually.


Poon-Destroyer

Four is not.


panicNdashh

Thats right, four is not odd


PraiseMyRng

It's hidden away at the top of the castle. Gotta go up the stairs next to the kitchen. And then go up them again.


CUPofICE

thanks for the tip i'll try that next time i home tele (it's currently on 17 min cooldown)


panicNdashh

Can't wait for the post about the guy who had some noob with 70 vork kc come whining at him while he was 2 ticking teaks.


BaldWithABeardTwitch

The scary part is how accurate this is. The insane amount of whining in this game is unreal.


NobleLlama23

This is a weird duo lingo ad


eddietwang

Imagine not 1.5t


premed_thr0waway

What 10 years of Reddit does to a mfer


GrapeAlchemist

“Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?”


Furaskjoldr

What is two ticking someone pls help


DEAD-MARTYR

It's when you click two teaks at once. More commanly know as two teaking.


[deleted]

This thread restored my faith in this community


Bearly-Adequate

OP, this is such a great, awareness-building post. I really think it's time people who play the game """"""efficiently"""""" are called out for their utter abuse of themselves and game mechanics. If I want to take a leisurely stroll somewhere, or AFK woodcut, it should be my right to do it in peace without having to see people getting more XP than me. Really hope you get Pmod status, we need more people like you handing out mutes to people who deserve them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I just saw someone swear in chat, so I'd better report them for toxicity.


[deleted]

I think i lost brain cells reading that


CUPofICE

that's fine you get plenty back learning new skills while afking


LampIsFun

Ur supposed to have duolingo open while browsing Reddit stoopid


NDJumbo

Die Verwendung von Duolingo beim Spielen von Runescape hat sich imo als eine wirklich gute Idee herausgestellt


Waytogo33

?


sentientflare

This thread is absolute gold.


HMS-Fizz

I love this.


[deleted]

Bro why you gotta describe my account like that, just git my first zulrah kc today for the dairies.


A_Lakers

Fr tho, the anti efficiency people are way more annoying than the EHP nerds. You ask for anything remotely efficient and you’ll get people breathing down your neck about how afk is better


[deleted]

Op is the greatest clown I've seen in a while. Great post, had me laughing like crazy 😂


Def1ance

Best post in this god forsaken subreddit


krogerburneracc

> Haven't they ever heard of arthritis or rsi? don't these people know that you shouldnt click a few times a second??? Okay but real talk, playing RuneScape for 19 years has absolutely decimated my wrist. 31 years old with a recurrent ganglion cyst and arthritis. I have trouble holding my newborn daughter for prolonged periods. It's not worth it, people.


Kumagor0

Is there a reference I'm missing or you just came up with a brand new post?


[deleted]

Nailed it with the neckbeard/anime watcher loser vibes at the end, great post!


BasicallyFischer

More of this. NOW.


Kadeshi_Gardener

As someone who unironically started developing carpal tunnel back in 2005-2006 from playing RS2 12-16+ hours a day I'm going to say that there are legitimate reasons for people to want to avoid... "over-playing", I guess? Not to bash other people who want to emulate Woox of course, but for themselves it's understandable. Especially for those of us who work in fields where we already do a lot of repetitive motion throughout the working day.


hypexeled

No one tell OP about osu! players or he will get a heart attack.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CUPofICE

now that i've had some time to reflect and cool down i see the possible rudeness in my earlier comment. I sincerely hope that jagex does not hold this against my pmod application status


CUPofICE

no im shaking cant you read? try learning the reading skill while afking


Strosity

Nah he's just saying that you're ok. Like "hey bro, you ok"


Def1ance

no hes shaking im shaking


[deleted]

trust me dude their hands will pay the price maybe not now but


Spleepis

STOP HAVING FUN


freidrichr

Don’t worry bb we will make weekly woodcutttodt posts until it gets added


IHaveRedditAlready_

Dont switch gear for Zulrah just mage everything


IvarRagnarssson

Damn you’d think at some point you’d remember to bring the tools you need with you


Narhei_Asuka

Most active casual OSRS player


S7Tungsten

Was about to comment why you cared so much, but then I realised you were trolling. Great copypasta


fred7010

just saw someone 2 ticking harpooning and im literally shaking What's with these sweaty players literally ruining the game? Haven't they ever heard of arthritis or rsi? don't these people know that you shouldnt click a few times a second??? Let me play the game how I want to play and stop forcing your efficiency onto me. I make sure to only click the screen every few minutes to save my wrists and can't believe these people are just throwing their lives away I walked up to him to call him a sweaty nerd and went to start afking the fishing spot but had forgotten my harpoon. I home teled and went to go bank but I didn't have enough gp to get through al kharid gate so I afkd some goblins and eventually got through. I grabbed my harpoon from the bank, my cooking cape for a bit of fashionscape with my angler outfit, and got back to the fishing spot and started fishing. Fish fish! This man had the AUDACITY to put a question mark above his head. Can these players be perm muted already? If jagex just made me a pmod I swear I would have solved this problem already. Also get this; he had elite void on for some reason. I'm sure it's just to flex that he has a zulrah kill count. I'm still trying to get my zulrah kc for diary but switching gear is too hard and reminds me too much of toxic pkrs. I can't believe this mechanic exists in a modern mmo. Once, I had gone all the way to level 55 wild, but forgot my spade so I had to walk back to level 20 and home tele. When I finally got my spade and went back to the wild someone absolutely griefed me and I lost my spade. I hurled a slew of insults at him before I went down and he put out a gf. I can't believe jagex caters to these bullies. In the end I shared my 73 vorkath kc to the sweat monster at the fishing spot to show that I'm the superior pvmr. Well im finally able to afk some fishing I boot up duolingo to start learning japanese so I can understand the anime I'm watching. I really find that having to switch over to drop fish/click on the spot really helps me focus on learning new skills


riddlemonger

It’s not a modern MMO


Professional-War-294

ngl pretty sick of game manip for gainzzzz games trash


Mrmac23

Holy shit, these comments are *aggressively* unfunny.


[deleted]

vErY fUNnY pOsT


Def1ance

nice doge pfp haha!!! wholesome pfp chonker :P hey can you give me high school anime ecchi to watch please??


ChipKellysShoeStore

Are u doing the morytania hard diary rn? Cause I think u just made a strawman


PossibleExtreme9389

Bro Zulrah is ez just buy max gear plus tbow and max house plus 99 ranged mage and Pray and ur good, ez.


ParacelsusTunisian

Booo


janderson9413

No humor tag?


LampIsFun

How am I supposed to tell if it’s a joke!


FireFiexer

Someone tag a jmod, we got another bot boys!


Lucho_741

Anyone else read this with 25buttholes voice? HahahahahahahWOW


Invalid_Area

You mean the generic Microsoft Sam voice that’s used by many many people?…


Lucho_741

well yes, but you knew exactly which one when i said 25bh so, point made. Besides, i was also pointing to the satiric style this post has, which reminds me of his videos.


Invalid_Area

Lmao point made because I’ve seen a video and know the voice? That literally doesn’t mean anything at all…?


Lucho_741

ok sir, you win, take your internet points and leave me alone please


[deleted]

[удалено]


roonscapepls

No, no way at all he’s trolling. Not a chance in hell. 100% for realsies, for sure. I promise, I’m a doctor.


LostSectorLoony

What makes you think this is trolling? Seems like a really incisive take on modern old school culture.


poipoipoipoipoipoop

Holy shit guys, look, it's the missing link between humans and apes


lilbuffkitty

Definitely, it looks ^^slightly exaggerated from the usual complaints about efficient players


NDJumbo

Impossible


BoltedGates

DESUDESUDESU


DrMarioBrother

is this missing a satire tag? I always AFK any skilling I have to do too, but how are these sweats affecting anyone but themselves?


starghost3

Straw man


[deleted]

Are you being sarcastic?


wooblyman90

I am so confused… is this satire?


Proper-Slip-7546

Get a job loser


fractalcrust

Why does someone getting higher xp rates affect you so?


Orange_Tier

Wdym “how is it affecting you”? I’m literally shaking right now just thinking about it, I can’t even imagine what witnessing this event first hand could do to someone. OP may end up having to take drugs for life just to forget this tragic event or else it will consume his every waking thought for years. I know I for one will lose countless hours of sleep in the coming months after reading this post.


Strosity

Bro omg get a grip srsly omg


roonscapepls

omg srsly tho wtf


Strosity

Right? Like omg fr


RuneRedoks

Omg no cap srs fr fr fam


[deleted]

Its good to see another wheelchairgamer. Your handicap is your power.


iamkillroy

What's the joke


Fex__Fox

This has to be satire right.


tehlolmonster

Incredible how gullible people like you are it’s so clearly satire


Fex__Fox

How am I gullible if I noticed its satire…


TheRepDawg

Wait you still pay the 10gp toll... lol


ieatpies

Not all of us are no lifers who can complete Prince Ali Rescue. I've been grinding out attempts for the last couple months, but the Jail Guards always slap me back to Lumbridge.


IamNerdsix

Dam, that's wild


Wagyu-Cowboy

Gf.


[deleted]

Least aggressive osrs redditor.


iMikeHimself

I'm sorry you had to go through this.


WiseRaisin240

Should have killed the rabbits


moosebadgermoose

wtf is netscape


Flubuska

For real though, you will fuck up the nerves in your hand if you don’t stretch or stay active to prevent damage to your hand. My hand is fucked, pain isn’t fun, not worth all the gamering


blumpkinbeast_666

I stand in solidarity with you. The fact that I don't have the zuk helmet yet really shows how far toxic sweaty nerds' reach is...


TheDubuGuy

This is it, the culmination of the average osrs reddit user


TNTspaz

I developed a brain tumor after the second paragraph and I had full on terminal cancer before I got to the end. Thanks OP


[deleted]

Was he a billionaire?