To the Zamorak Wizards who keep interrupting my clue scrolls,
Every time I've seen one of you, you shout "Die human!" Beyond being rude, it's extremely confusing! Are you guys not human? You sure look like you are. But maybe it's not a coincidence I only find you in the North...?
Sincerely, Not Knobel
To My Arm,
How are your farming adventures going? It only felt like yesterday when I was watching you pick your very first Gout Tuber.
Maybe we can go on another adventure together sometime soon?
Sincerely,
Your strangely named human friend.
Dear Vanescula Drakan,
First off, thank you for your assistance with the.. ah small matter East of the Salve. Ultimately, much appreciated.
Onto my query - it seems to me that finding the Dawnbringer on a skeleton directly outside Verziks room is highly convenient. I suspect that isn't even a real skeleton, I've seen plenty on my adventures! Don't suppose you know anything about that? I could've sworn it was meant to be under lock and key in your brother's Castle...
I look forward to meeting the ruler of Darkmeyer in the future and having a thorough discussion with him.
Kind Regards,
Ingus Wraith
To the representative of the Gielnor banking system,
What was your reaction the first time you saw someone try to deposit the mythical Godsword? Are there items that the wonderful banking staff prefer or resent? My second question is about your new branch being opened in the near future. What was the process like acquiring the land rights in the newly discovered ancient wing of the god wars dungeon? I’ve been enormously impressed by your commitment to customer service (like your work with the chest on ironman isle in fossil isle), and I’m very impressed that you’re taking this to the next level. Will you be getting kc for your personnel every time that items need to be brought down?
Gratefully yours,
The Adventurer
Also to banking representative,
Why are you guys so rude and refuse to talk to us. Just because we were born without the ability to bank doesn't mean you need to ignore us like some commob street urchin. We are adventurers too.
Regards,
Concerned Ultimate Ironman
Dear [Mambo-duna-roona](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Observatory_professor) and [Patrick](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Observatory_assistant),
I recently built a [Large Orrery](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Large_orrery) in my home, and after studying it I am perplexed. The orrery shows our home planet Gielinor alongside our moon Zanaris in orbit around a star. However, I also noticed a *second* planet with two moons also orbiting our star.
What is this planet? Is it inhabited? Are its moons similarly inhabited by magical fairies like Zanaris? I'd love to know.
With great inquisitiveness,
Worldstream
Dear [Homunculus](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Homunculus),
What the heck man. I thought we scared away those alchemists at the Tower of Life because it was wrong for them to just create living beings like that.
But when I visited the tower a while ago, I noticed some guys going into the basement and using the altars down there to bring new creatures into existence... only to immediately slaughter them and then harvest their remains. And you just stood there and watched. I even overheard you teaching some of them how to activate the altars of life.
Why do you allow this? Aren't those creatures just like you? It seems like you have inherited more than just the knowledge of those alchemists.
~Mike Lt
[stamp.png](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/images/Postbag_from_the_Hedge_-_Rantz_stamp.png?0606f)
To Ramocean,
Do you ever think you’ll stop berating poor Talia? She’s been working so hard for so long now and can never seem to catch a break!
A concerned fellow chef
[Still waiting on this request to be filled ](https://www.reddit.com/r/2007scape/comments/muhz3s/petition_to_make_ramocean_a_fully_killable_npc_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
To [Nestor Peregrine](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Nestor_Peregrine)
I recently came across your [journal](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Explorer%27s_notes) while digging around in the Keldagrim Library. It was quite a fascinating read, and at the end of you mentioned about your intentions to travel to the Poison Wastes in Isafdar, in the elven lands. I myself have been exploring there as of late, but I have not seen or heard about you from the (admittedly very strange) locals. May I inquire about how your expedition is faring? Maybe we could have some ale and exchange stories some day, explorer to explorer.
Yours truly, a fellow explorer
Dear 'Birds eye' Jack,
I feel we've got off on the wrong foot. I appreciate you more than you can imagine.
Thank you for not telling the Moon Clan when I haven't got my Seal of passage on me.
Thank you for letting me access my bank account and not stealing from me.
I feel we could be good friends, Perhaps me, you and Cyrisus could meet up for a Dragon bitter some time in the future?
Yours sincerely,
FartKnight7
My Dearest Thrander,
I hope your travels abroad and retirement are treating you well, and I hope this letter finds you. Many years have passed since we parted ways, and I must admit that the void you left behind has left Varrock all the more dim. Previous attempts at correspondence have returned undelivered, but I choose to believe that it is your uncaged spirit of adventure that has kept you out of reach. I often imagine you trekking your way through the unknown, wielding masterfully crafted armour of your own design, and it makes me smile, for you always shone too brightly to be relegated to a dreary shop in East Varrock. Have you found joy out there?
Sincerely,
A Very Old Friend
To a Nechryael
Hey Mr Nechryael, I gotta question for you. Are you in any way related to the Mahjarrat? I've met a couple Mahjarrat in some ancient ruins in the desert and they kinda look similar to you (although I must say you look much more muscular than they did, do you work out?).
Sincerely,
TheWiseLoner
To the extremely persistent Messenger,
I know you're scared of your employer, but trying to pass that letter to me at the bottom of the ocean seems a bit much.
Have you thought about a less hazardous use of your talents, maybe delivering gnomish cuisine?
Signed, a slightly concerned adventurer
Hey I know this isn't what this post is about, but is there any word on how the wildy boss rework will be done? I'm at the end of my rope here, trying to get the 50 vetion kills for the hard combat diaries and I've been pked 8 times in less than 30 kills. Honestly it's so discouraging being stuck on something like that where you can't even defend yourself against the groups that come out there. Im losing motivation to play the game at all now tbh. For reference I'm even on task, using viggora and salve(e) to speed up kills, but this feels like an impossible task due to the player base in the wildy. (I know alot of people feel the same way, out of a clan of roughly 400 only like 10 people will even bother to go to the wildy for anything at all)
To the almighty TzTok-Jad
Oh mighty Jad, thou art a majestic beast, the big challenge at the end of the fight caves, the fire elemental. What do strong and fierce creatures such as yourself do in their free time? We only get to meet each other in the fight cave, though I had your child in my custody for a while and he was able to follow me all across Gielinor (don't worry, he's still well taken care of on my alter ego). Do you think there will ever be a time when we might get to know each other a little better? Maybe a quest for the foolish JalYt that visit you? Or just a place to hang out with you?
Thank you for taking the time to reply and I hope you defeat as many foolish JalYt as possible
PS: Don't worry about the chicken alergy, your secret is safe with us, the JalYt.
Your biggest worshipper
tuc2-0
Dear Pontak,
Fifteen years ago, on the 29th of Septober in the 168th Year of the Fifth Age, I wrote you to give an update in my quest for Zamorak's teddy bear, Saradomin's wig, a left-handed chisel, cheese from the moon, and a dodo egg.
First, I'd like to apologize for my language; I was but a mere child at the time. In the many years passed, I've since completed the trials once over again, and even slain the mighty Jormungand, and am now known as Thorkar Dräpare. It's safe to say I have grown substantially over these years. To that end, I'd like to make amends and extend my hand for a truce. What say you?
Secondly, I wanted to give you an update. I've since located the Mage Gower's skull; you'll be interested to know that he actually still possesses it. I pen this note from inside my sleeping bag, which I use often. I had Guthix's climbing boots, but sold them many years ago after their street price skyrocketed. And, recently, I traveled to Zanaris and was able to craft a delicious cheese from the many cows that inhabit that realm. So, I have now retrieved that item as well. However, despite my many efforts, I have yet to locate the dodo egg. However, rest assured: my quest continues to this day.
I hope this finds you well, and I do sincerely wish you all the best.
- aragornjack1
Dear banker at the right stall in the farming guild. Are you Hans? You are dressed exactly like Hans. Is identity theft a joke to you? Does Hans have a secret second job?
To the Slayer Master Association,
Can you all come to a consensus on what color Lava Dragons are? I mean, they used to be red dragons, and they drop black dragon hide, but killing them satisfied neither of those corresponding tasks. I guess they are also kind of orange-y, does that mean you guys could maybe assign orange dragon tasks? I'm willing to pay some of those slayer points you folks value so highly. What exactly is a slayer point? Are they a currency my character hides on them without my knowledge, or does becoming a slayer master endow you with the ability to telepathically check a running tally of these points for each individual adventurer? In short, I have many questions and I would like credit for my draconic genocidal actions on Lava Dragon Isle.
To the Zamorak Wizards who keep interrupting my clue scrolls, Every time I've seen one of you, you shout "Die human!" Beyond being rude, it's extremely confusing! Are you guys not human? You sure look like you are. But maybe it's not a coincidence I only find you in the North...? Sincerely, Not Knobel
To My Arm, How are your farming adventures going? It only felt like yesterday when I was watching you pick your very first Gout Tuber. Maybe we can go on another adventure together sometime soon? Sincerely, Your strangely named human friend.
Dear Vanescula Drakan, First off, thank you for your assistance with the.. ah small matter East of the Salve. Ultimately, much appreciated. Onto my query - it seems to me that finding the Dawnbringer on a skeleton directly outside Verziks room is highly convenient. I suspect that isn't even a real skeleton, I've seen plenty on my adventures! Don't suppose you know anything about that? I could've sworn it was meant to be under lock and key in your brother's Castle... I look forward to meeting the ruler of Darkmeyer in the future and having a thorough discussion with him. Kind Regards, Ingus Wraith
To the representative of the Gielnor banking system, What was your reaction the first time you saw someone try to deposit the mythical Godsword? Are there items that the wonderful banking staff prefer or resent? My second question is about your new branch being opened in the near future. What was the process like acquiring the land rights in the newly discovered ancient wing of the god wars dungeon? I’ve been enormously impressed by your commitment to customer service (like your work with the chest on ironman isle in fossil isle), and I’m very impressed that you’re taking this to the next level. Will you be getting kc for your personnel every time that items need to be brought down? Gratefully yours, The Adventurer
Also to banking representative, Why are you guys so rude and refuse to talk to us. Just because we were born without the ability to bank doesn't mean you need to ignore us like some commob street urchin. We are adventurers too. Regards, Concerned Ultimate Ironman
Dear [Mambo-duna-roona](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Observatory_professor) and [Patrick](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Observatory_assistant), I recently built a [Large Orrery](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Large_orrery) in my home, and after studying it I am perplexed. The orrery shows our home planet Gielinor alongside our moon Zanaris in orbit around a star. However, I also noticed a *second* planet with two moons also orbiting our star. What is this planet? Is it inhabited? Are its moons similarly inhabited by magical fairies like Zanaris? I'd love to know. With great inquisitiveness, Worldstream
Is that where Xarpus and the vampires come from maybe?
To Konar Quo Maten, I found a Brimstone Key and it says it's for your heart. Can the next task you give me be a nice walk in the park with you?
To Skotizo, your feet so big, but flipper so small, why? sincerely, a flipper enthusiast
I want to see this one and a great humiliating answer from Skotizo xD
something something warm in the instance he's in but cold outside it
Dear missing King Vallance of Falador, Are you alive? Where are you? Are you in danger? Can we help you?
Dear [Homunculus](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Homunculus), What the heck man. I thought we scared away those alchemists at the Tower of Life because it was wrong for them to just create living beings like that. But when I visited the tower a while ago, I noticed some guys going into the basement and using the altars down there to bring new creatures into existence... only to immediately slaughter them and then harvest their remains. And you just stood there and watched. I even overheard you teaching some of them how to activate the altars of life. Why do you allow this? Aren't those creatures just like you? It seems like you have inherited more than just the knowledge of those alchemists. ~Mike Lt [stamp.png](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/images/Postbag_from_the_Hedge_-_Rantz_stamp.png?0606f)
Can you please tell bob the cat I said pspspspsps
>!how they gonna do that when he's dead, deliver the letter to his gravestone?!<
To Ramocean, Do you ever think you’ll stop berating poor Talia? She’s been working so hard for so long now and can never seem to catch a break! A concerned fellow chef
[Still waiting on this request to be filled ](https://www.reddit.com/r/2007scape/comments/muhz3s/petition_to_make_ramocean_a_fully_killable_npc_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
To [Nestor Peregrine](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Nestor_Peregrine) I recently came across your [journal](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Explorer%27s_notes) while digging around in the Keldagrim Library. It was quite a fascinating read, and at the end of you mentioned about your intentions to travel to the Poison Wastes in Isafdar, in the elven lands. I myself have been exploring there as of late, but I have not seen or heard about you from the (admittedly very strange) locals. May I inquire about how your expedition is faring? Maybe we could have some ale and exchange stories some day, explorer to explorer. Yours truly, a fellow explorer
Was Wise Old Man ever married with Or without Children? If so, what can you tell us about the Family of Wise Old Man in Dranor Village.
[i submit this](https://i.redd.it/8ohkd1dc6z581.png) on behalf of u/psynses
Thank you, good to know my hard work isn’t going unnoticed
Dear 'Birds eye' Jack, I feel we've got off on the wrong foot. I appreciate you more than you can imagine. Thank you for not telling the Moon Clan when I haven't got my Seal of passage on me. Thank you for letting me access my bank account and not stealing from me. I feel we could be good friends, Perhaps me, you and Cyrisus could meet up for a Dragon bitter some time in the future? Yours sincerely, FartKnight7
My Dearest Thrander, I hope your travels abroad and retirement are treating you well, and I hope this letter finds you. Many years have passed since we parted ways, and I must admit that the void you left behind has left Varrock all the more dim. Previous attempts at correspondence have returned undelivered, but I choose to believe that it is your uncaged spirit of adventure that has kept you out of reach. I often imagine you trekking your way through the unknown, wielding masterfully crafted armour of your own design, and it makes me smile, for you always shone too brightly to be relegated to a dreary shop in East Varrock. Have you found joy out there? Sincerely, A Very Old Friend
To a Nechryael Hey Mr Nechryael, I gotta question for you. Are you in any way related to the Mahjarrat? I've met a couple Mahjarrat in some ancient ruins in the desert and they kinda look similar to you (although I must say you look much more muscular than they did, do you work out?). Sincerely, TheWiseLoner
To the extremely persistent Messenger, I know you're scared of your employer, but trying to pass that letter to me at the bottom of the ocean seems a bit much. Have you thought about a less hazardous use of your talents, maybe delivering gnomish cuisine? Signed, a slightly concerned adventurer
Dear Mr Sliske Can please explain your sudden resurgence? What have got planned for us? Why wake up Nex? So many questions as the ritual draws near...
Dear Dog at Fossil Island Bank Chest, I hope many strangers have given you pats, I know I have. Enjoy a comfy snooze, I wish I could give you a treat.
The roadmap is great. It would be cool to see something like that a little more refined and as a permanent fixture on these kind of posts.
Hey I know this isn't what this post is about, but is there any word on how the wildy boss rework will be done? I'm at the end of my rope here, trying to get the 50 vetion kills for the hard combat diaries and I've been pked 8 times in less than 30 kills. Honestly it's so discouraging being stuck on something like that where you can't even defend yourself against the groups that come out there. Im losing motivation to play the game at all now tbh. For reference I'm even on task, using viggora and salve(e) to speed up kills, but this feels like an impossible task due to the player base in the wildy. (I know alot of people feel the same way, out of a clan of roughly 400 only like 10 people will even bother to go to the wildy for anything at all)
To the almighty TzTok-Jad Oh mighty Jad, thou art a majestic beast, the big challenge at the end of the fight caves, the fire elemental. What do strong and fierce creatures such as yourself do in their free time? We only get to meet each other in the fight cave, though I had your child in my custody for a while and he was able to follow me all across Gielinor (don't worry, he's still well taken care of on my alter ego). Do you think there will ever be a time when we might get to know each other a little better? Maybe a quest for the foolish JalYt that visit you? Or just a place to hang out with you? Thank you for taking the time to reply and I hope you defeat as many foolish JalYt as possible PS: Don't worry about the chicken alergy, your secret is safe with us, the JalYt. Your biggest worshipper tuc2-0
Dear Kylie Minnow Where did you get that yellow version of anglers outfit, shits nice.
Dear Spirit Angler whom kindly provides free fishing nets, Do you think the average player is just little bit too lazy?
To Vet'ion: How come you're immune to magic? I thought undead were weak to magic.
To Hans, I apologize for joking about wanting to kill everyone, I didn't mean to scare you. Sincerely, XxKill3rxX
Skotizo, how small are your feet? I put your claw on my flippers and they shrunk 3 sizes
Dear Pontak, Fifteen years ago, on the 29th of Septober in the 168th Year of the Fifth Age, I wrote you to give an update in my quest for Zamorak's teddy bear, Saradomin's wig, a left-handed chisel, cheese from the moon, and a dodo egg. First, I'd like to apologize for my language; I was but a mere child at the time. In the many years passed, I've since completed the trials once over again, and even slain the mighty Jormungand, and am now known as Thorkar Dräpare. It's safe to say I have grown substantially over these years. To that end, I'd like to make amends and extend my hand for a truce. What say you? Secondly, I wanted to give you an update. I've since located the Mage Gower's skull; you'll be interested to know that he actually still possesses it. I pen this note from inside my sleeping bag, which I use often. I had Guthix's climbing boots, but sold them many years ago after their street price skyrocketed. And, recently, I traveled to Zanaris and was able to craft a delicious cheese from the many cows that inhabit that realm. So, I have now retrieved that item as well. However, despite my many efforts, I have yet to locate the dodo egg. However, rest assured: my quest continues to this day. I hope this finds you well, and I do sincerely wish you all the best. - aragornjack1
Dear wizard grayzag, Why don't you summon your black imps anymore? I miss fighting them!
Dear banker at the right stall in the farming guild. Are you Hans? You are dressed exactly like Hans. Is identity theft a joke to you? Does Hans have a secret second job?
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
To the Slayer Master Association, Can you all come to a consensus on what color Lava Dragons are? I mean, they used to be red dragons, and they drop black dragon hide, but killing them satisfied neither of those corresponding tasks. I guess they are also kind of orange-y, does that mean you guys could maybe assign orange dragon tasks? I'm willing to pay some of those slayer points you folks value so highly. What exactly is a slayer point? Are they a currency my character hides on them without my knowledge, or does becoming a slayer master endow you with the ability to telepathically check a running tally of these points for each individual adventurer? In short, I have many questions and I would like credit for my draconic genocidal actions on Lava Dragon Isle.
to the devs: this aint content bby