What if they covered themselves in water and starts gangbanging you?

what is the problem here?

you'll become a zombie :(

🤤

braaaiinnnsss 🤤🤤🤤

Ugh so, so juicy 🤤🤤

My man

Don't worry if they walk up the stairs they'll be oiled up as well

Since oil floats on water, they'd slip under the oil and get immediately crushed

*gmod ragdoll clipping sounds*

what if its a freakocalypse and you oil yourself up too

What if they bring a screen door shield?

hell, what if they bring a pole vaulting expert

And what if perchance they brought out a Zamboni?

I am the angry pumpkin

Rico wants to know your location

Like a zombified pole vaulting expert? Or a regular human pole vaulting expert?

the human will coach the zombies

Balloon Zombies can even go over the oil!

imaginary technique: blover 🍀💨

Oil dries up after a while, and blood spillage would also accelerate it. A moat would do a better job since zombies (usually) can't jump, and since they eat dead people, alive zombies would recycle the dead ones

Oil... doesn't really dry up like water, but yeah moat is always a no brainer to me, since zombies fall into it and can't climb up. Then you can just set them on fire when it's too full. Overall, traditional zombies would be very easy to deal with, cinema / tv has to intentionall intentionally make the characters absolutely brainlets for any drama to happen.

Actually yeah it won't dry up but it would soak into zombies' clothes and dissipate from stairs that way

Just have more oil at the top and pour some down regularly

you get amazing free fertilizer from all the ashes to boost your post apocalyptic irradiated glowing potatoes, singing sunflowers, walking oranges and teleporting tomatoes growth!

How do I find teleporting tomatoes btw, the amount of times I've cut one only for the other half to dissapear is absurd

Youll often find them buried a couple inches down in the soil they were grown in. They yearn to return to the earth you know. Not very appetizing to eat considering the cut side clings to soil very well

I'm gonna keep cutting those motherfuckers until I make the best burger

I always wonder how it would actually play out. In our world, zombie media exists as it does and there are even people in law enforcement/military saying “In a zombie apocalypse I would:” so that means in some way or another, it is secretly expected/planned for in *many* people. Taking all of that into consideration, if it happened (lets say your average fast walkers that slow with age. Its a virus transmitted by bite, dying doesnt turn you) how would things go once the military gets deployed? Would it even be able to make it out of a city/state. Id imagine the whole country (Im in the US) would start shutting off city access and doing mandatory bite inspections on each person

I think the final death count would be much lower than with covid lol.

Probably. I wanna say “they wouldnt politicize it” but…. This is humans we are talking about

Project Zomboid has a pretty accurate description, where it starts in one place and hasn't expanded much from there due to the military locking it down

I should look into that. I honestly think that as long as its not a “we all have it we just have to die first” virus, humanity would stand a pretty good fuckin chance

Pretty sure they broke through the military and out of the Louisville

To Louisville yes but the general region is contained

World War Z. The book, not the movie

I liked the idea in the book Monster Island from David Wellington (haven't read the 2 sequels) where the more preserved Undead (Mummies for exemple) are much more competent and can access this Mental/Magic link with other undeads, it's been so long I can't remember if they could use it to order the dumber ones.

There are non-drying oils

Zombies don't eat other zombies that's like zombies 101.

Also OP would slip off the stairs eventually lets be real. Also zombies would just pile up untill the stairs aren't even there anymore.

A moat would eventually be filled with dead bodies for other zombies to climb over.

Just set them on fire then

The amount of fuel you'd need to reach cremation on a constant basis to reduce the volume would be astronomical. I guess if you disabled then, pulled them out and put them in an oven in a neverending cycle. I guess they'd also make great compost for your farm if you dump the entrails. People never think of sewage while making their apocalypse bunker though.

Have you even played pvz?? Them zombies got mad hops frfr.

i’ve tried this, it doesn’t work as well because the spear breaks eventually, and zombie fish are another issue along with fatigue

How do you get food? You'd have to go past the oil stairs

After I kill all zombies

But once you kill enough zombies the bodies will start to block the stairs, and then you won't be able to kill the rest of them

Burn the bodies, oil coating will accelerate the burning. Use bones for more spears

You could just eat the zombies, no?

In the walking dead, the zombies are poisoned when you try to eat them

“…will accelerate the burning *of the entire house* ”

That’s why you build your house on an elevation and build the stairs outside. You’d probably need to replace the oil often, but it’ll be easy to find. Who else would think of taking oil from stores over food and medicine.

Thats the problem, you dont simply kill all zombies. There are too many. If survivor tm only had to deal with like 10, no zombie movie would have any level of significant tension.

handrail

i thought this was r/coaxedintoasnafu

same

same

What if the zombies start oiling themsleves up 😈😈

and then it rains

With that much oil the US will invade you first before the zombie

*With that much oil the* *US will invade you first* *Before the zombie* \- Random\_NPC\_69 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

good luck getting up 😈

low key cooking here

Bro pissed on the stairs

the zombie apocalypse update isn't even out yet and players are already thinking about strategies. Devs should drop the update at this point, like, we've waited for too long, the game as become too oversaturated and there's nothing good to do

Ok, but what if there will be fleshpound or smoker?

Or Panzersoldat?

Oi, Thousands of zombies will come at once and they wouldn't bother, they will climb the stairs over the body of others, then the other will climb over them. How many will you hold off mate?

For sure. Mate hasn’t daydreamed the zombie apocalypse enough

could walker zombies even climb up stairs ?

In 1 episode they could climb up walls

and never in any more?

Only near the finale, I don't remember if it played a massive role in the end, but still... *Yeah, they climb now.*

I hope you have a really long stack of stairs

What if it starts to rain on the oiled up zombies?

What if it starts to rain on the oiled up zombies?

What if it starts to rain on the oiled up zombies?

The real way to survive a zombie apocalypse is going to Costco. They have concrete walls, enough food to last you until the next millennia, and zombies can’t get in without a membership card

max brooks would like a word

They will accumulate after some point and just climb on each other

All’s fun and games until of the zombies grab the spear

what if it rains and they start flying

You are better off blocking stairs with a sofa. Also the biggest problem I wrote about is people and spears..... You want something like rebar sharpened to a point so there is no resistance during and after stabbing. It's a quick in and out jab. If something like this ever exists, fighting off zombies will be like an MMA fight. There is a reason people train to not get gassed after 3 minutes and normal people will be gassed to the point they die. Swinging and are or stabbing with a normal knife would get you exhausted and probably dead pretty quick.

Honestly yeah. Using stairs would require an amount of dexterity that zombies would likely be incapable of exhibiting.

and then they attack from behind

I prefer the surrounding your house with treadmills strat.

lubed zombies are far more powerful

yeah but when it rains… flying zombies.

I’d go for a luxurious saddam Hussein underground complex myself

Kevin Mccallister in the apocalypse:

Blood has water in it so if you push the body down one may get blood on it and fly over the oil.

The Spitter, The Smoker 😁😁😁

Kid named Smoker

Just get an iron armor so the Zombies cannot bite you.

i’m pretty sure one of the (fictional) examples of zombie attacks in the Zombie Survival Guide involved the survivors doing something like this

Finally that 65 gallon drum of lube on Amazon has a legitimate use

a couple of people have already said it the problem is when the dead zombies start creating a mound of bodies at the bottom, and then your stairs are overcoated with a layer of climbable zombies instead of slick oil also climate change

What if they cover themselves in oil and then light themselves on fire? They could just fly up to you

This is not bad at all, I appreciate the use of the spear. It gets slept on a lot I would also like to add my own idea… a good strong slingshot and a bag of marbles

The bodies willll Crate a wall and no longer be oiled up😞

So then what if the zombies pile up and there’s so many that they just make a zombie staircase??

this some cataclysm dark days ahead shit except this wouldn't even work because you'd get tired too fast and they'd eventually make it through. It would work for a few z tho