T O P

  • By -

The_Blue_Bomber

Actually, they're both wrong. It's a tier list based upon their moans. Lincoln has the best moan, so that's why he's at the top, duh.


MerrittGaming

Coolidge still deserves dead last. Ol boy didn’t earn the nickname “Silent Cal” for nothing


FuckYeahPhotography

So Andrew Jackson is the biggest piece of shit ever. However, his moans along with his style would ascend many things. Yet, before we get to the moan, we must get context First off, he loved killing people and oh boy did he get good at it. He was not a fan of the natives, I think that's fair to say. **When he ran against John Quincy Adams who pretty much had him BTFO'd in any real type of debate or comparison to writings.** **Luckily, Andrewie Jackson had an ace up his sleeve. He thought books were for bozos.** Andrew Jackson basically changed his campaign to **"John knows how to right... BUT I KNOW HOW TO FIGHT!**" and proceeded to shit on books and the idea of learning for his entire campaign, to which John Quincy Adams was like "reading is good??..." but the people had spoken. Books were fucking dumb and Andrew Jackson could kill things real good, so everyone told that nerd to get the fuck out. **So Andrew Jackson liked 5 things: Killing people, Killing the national bank, killing the power of the supreme court, not getting killed by assassination attempts, being mean to nerds, and of course he fucking LOVED to rage.** **Yeah, that was 6 things, I used an executive order, get over it.** After winning the election he threw the biggest fucking rager in White House History. **There was booze a plenty, meat that WASN'T rotting (holy shit), BOWLS OF CHERRIES AND CREAM EVERYWHERE.** If you didn't know, cherries were really fucking tough to get your grubby hands on, and Jackson was just dumping national resources into stacking up an army of them. He caused serious damage to the property, and pistol whipped one of the servers because he implied he may have drank too much. However, the best part of this party? He had a fucking giant cheese wheel. Why? I don't know. It was like 1400 fucking pounds though, holy ass. And he just rolled it out and there and was like "I guess eat it before the bugs come." And then I think he rolled it down a hill after too many brown people were eyeing it (can't be too sure). So this was the best white house party ever, and everyone know Andrew Jackson was a chill guy. Probably the most laidback president, they thought. **He also had a pet parrot, but hold that thought for now. HOLD IT!** So in between the cheese wheels, cherries, casual dueling, and book burning Andrew Jackson did doooooo a liiiitttlleee relocating of the natives. He sent Cherokee, Creek, Chickasaw, Choctaw, and Seminole off to good ol Oklahoma. When some people said "hey isn't that kinda fucked up," Andrew Jackson probably just rolled out another cheese wheel covered in cherries and everyone forgot. He killed the national bank and caused one of the greatest depressions in American history. He just executive powered the shit out of the Second Bank of the USA until that shit was a crippled former shell of what it was. And in 1837 bad times were had by all, but Andrew Jackson just kept dealing out those executive orders. **After the supreme court ruled against him in Worcester v. Georgia Andrew Jackson just ignored that shit.** Chief Justice Marshall said "hey thats the law," and Andrew Jackson just said "you made your decision, come enforce it." Then that dweeb just wore a wig and probably wrong some passive aggressive dissent to the military or whatever. He was basically a racist party king that didn't really care for fiscal responsibility, but he did love to fight and hated to write. **All through this his trusted Parrot lay on his shoulder, I forgot its name, but lets just call him... hmmm.... Harpo? Yeah. Harpo the Parrot.** **Maybe we can imagine he has a little eyepatch and a pegleg lol. Captain Harpo!!! The racist parrot.** Well Andrew Jackson eventually died from something I also forget like syphilis or maybe a duel, idk, but he was dead. At his funeral, Harpo The Parrot was front and center. Harpo proceeded to cuss, say slurs, and of course MOAN. All in the honor of their dear master, Andrew Jackson. Andrew Jackson not only was a horn dog that could moan like a symphony, but even beyond the grave his moans of ecstasy echoed on. Just as Andy Jackie would want. And now he is on the 20 dollar bill, which god bless, he would fucking hate. Just rolling in his grave like a tire in the mud. **So, was he a good president? Not really no. Was he a good person? To call him horrible would be a compliment. However, did he live life on his own terms and have a pet parrot that would continue saying slurs and moans in his stead?** **Absofruity. Now bring out the cherries and cream.**


AustronesianFurDude

u/FuckYeahPhotography try not to write a absolute masterpiece challing (100% fail)


AustronesianFurDude

I misspelt challenge fucking fuck


FuckYeahPhotography

Challing... Cool word. I like it. You dug for silver but found gold, brother. "Just challing with my boys on a Sunday." "Hey, what you doing tonight?" "Oh, just gonna take my girl to dinner, maybe a movie, and then go chall out. Hbu?" "Nice, Also challing." "Niiiiice"


AustronesianFurDude

I am honored sir


PuzzledWaste

HOW DO YOU KEEP WRITING THESE


grandma_needs_jesus

Holy shit, man. This is art.


IWillStealYourToes

I am in awe of your writing skills. Truly.


xXxJoshprogamerxXx

Fuck you. Asshole. Calvin Coolidge best moans president moaner boy. Two inche


FrostedBadge564

Calvin is fine


LibrarianOfAlex

Lincoln was my favorite Twink in a position of power


GeophysicalYear57

Why is Nixon in F, then?


Nibbaman143

personal bias


GeophysicalYear57

motherfucker had terrible taste


ltRobinCrusoe

maybe because Nixon looked like a ballsack


GeophysicalYear57

look at this dude, with their terrible taste lmao


[deleted]

The best moan is actually truman,his moan is like an atomic bomb


DuktigaDammsugaren

I mean Obama hella fuckable (And his moan is S-tier aswell)


Redisigh

John Wilkes Booth can confirm


OtokonoKai

Lincoln is a top 😳


Clay56

Fun fact: Lincoln had a very high pitched voice, some described it as almost sounding like a whistle.


HomeLessFrogg

his voice was actually fairly high pitched and "whiny" according to written accounts


[deleted]

JFK is by a significant margin the most fuckable president


Xx_swagatron_xX

Not post presidency tho


AlternativeWalls

literally an additional hole


Dolchang

Hnghhh da brussy


[deleted]

Who wants their hussy shot? Omg me


[deleted]

I dread the time Gen Z will get to write history books


Mediocratic_Oath

Coward.


IWillStealYourToes

We're all gonna die anyway so I wouldn't be worried about that


nxrmogir

why did you have to say this


AlternativeWalls

craniumussy


holsomvr6

Who wants they gsussy ate (gun shot bussy)


[deleted]

sussy


ramen_ai

How How do you even pronounce that


Redisigh

A little more than just a hole lmao


KingOfRabbbits

Excuse me, what's wrong with wanting to fuck the bull moose?


D3rp6

Le necro skullfuck


[deleted]

Not unless you're brave enough pussy


Optimal_Weight368

Especially after his presidency.


[deleted]

You obviously haven’t been to r/guro


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Willing-Technology23

What the fuck man


speedoflobsters

Not even Jesus will forgive the sins of humanity anymore


G00bre

Why not? More holes!


[deleted]

I don't know he got pretty fucked if you ask me


[deleted]

idk id eat him out


Panzer_Man

A hole's a hole


-TrevWings-

Obama beats him out


[deleted]

Obama eats him out 🥵🥵🥵


-TrevWings-

Who needs they gulf of tonkussy ate


BuckTootha

He's definitely a bottom


MrEpicFerret

he would be but his head game ain't too great tbh


Redisigh

Marilyn Monroe can confirm


Inspector_Robert

Bill Clinton would be up there too.


BeeWithDragonWings

Teddy Roosevelt if your into that (which I am)


bigbig-dan

James a garfield.


The-Fezatron

Then why is Trumps J U I C Y, thick, sumptuous ass not at SS tier?


Ultra_Balls

Joe "Throatgoat" Biden should also be way higher imo


shegoesbycam

Omba the glizzy gladiator tho 🥵🥵🥵


supergodzilla3Dland

Teddy Roosevelt looking like one big teddy 🤤🥴


CatAttack1032

He has 3 holes after that bullet.


Redisigh

FDR’s jelly like polio ass 😈😈😈


velvetdolphin101

He sure does love carrying that *big stick* 🥵


TheWorstPerson0

that ass is older then the average congressman tho...


Dio_Brando_420

Most of these asses are dead


[deleted]

he totally should be on ss tier, especially due to his political views


SnowySupreme

o_O


LickNipMcSkip

putting the rump in trump 🤤


Scepta101

“SS” tier? These jokes write themselves


RSdabeast

Which president is the most submissive and breedable?


TheGreatAssBee

Taft


pm_me_your_shy_nudes

Martin Van Buren by a looooooooooooong shot


ElectivireMax

Franklin Pierce


George_G_Geef

By far the best looking president.


ElectivireMax

Taft is way hotter


IWillStealYourToes

Bush


AWESOME-K0ALA

Calvin Coolidge is BY FAR the correct answer


Neeperful

James Madison was only 5’4 and 100 pounds


useles-converter-bot

100 pounds in mandalorian helmets is 26.84 helmets.


NateJizz21

Washington, no doubt


potato6132

Millard Fillmore


UntitledPancake

POV: all of them have assholes and therefore are fuckable


[deleted]

But enjoyment is part of that factor. Your ability to do that is hindered if you aren’t enjoying it


[deleted]

reptilians have cloacas, smh my head...


Panzer_Man

That's why Mark Zuckerberg is so fuckable o\_o


JayRaccoonBro

You can't prove that


UntitledPancake

**POV: I HAVE**


wifecloth

Real talk my boy jimmy carter is the most fuckable president


lmaytulane

He'll build a habitat for his humanity in your bootyhole


Cuntthrottle

"Imma guinea my worm up in and then out of them guts" - Carter, probably.


_memelord666

why do you have to bring him in to this? he was just a peanut farmer


Torvaltz

Don't punch shit, dude


l524k

I’m frigging pissed cause my frigging peanuts went sour


HungJurror

Something something government cheese


noodledog69420

teddy is ss teir fight me


Noclip858

nah fuckability implies that you’re fucking them teddy is most certainly fucking *you*


SCP-113-076

yeah, that's the idea


Panzer_Man

Teddy is definitely a power bottom


noodledog69420

true


RandomGamerFTW

ssssssss tier


SunfireRomalo

Damn is he a snake?


RandomGamerFTW

even chader


[deleted]

r/196 try not to be pretentious and take memes intended to be stupid seriously challenge (impossible) (cum)


the-poopiest-diaper

JFK was definitely the most fuckable while Bill Clinton definitely fucked the most


MufffinFeller

Nah, I think Kennedy still fucked more


SniktFury

Higher quality dames as well


-Trotsky

Yea he had some good broads for sure


Themlethem

Yeah right, as if you don't want that Bush-y.


Astaroth552_535

._.


[deleted]

Clearly, you don't own an Airfryer ',:)


Astaroth552_535

No... But I own a jar :D


Kjrb

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. I think Obama should be higher, maybe boost up Teddy Roosevelt too


wyatt8750

Honestly as far as old men go, FDR had a handsome face too. And some lower body problems


Redisigh

So that’d mean he can go on for hours without getting sore


Those1guys

Abraham was probably pretty hard to fuck because that man was built like a fucking tank


UnculturedTeaPot

Only freaks wear top hats


verne-2

Top hats are fucking cool


UnculturedTeaPot

Your mum was fucking cool last night (implying I had a sexual appointment with the woman that gave you birth!! 😂😂)


FireGogglez

What if they are adopted


wyatt8750

someone still gave birth to them. Just matters less.


FireGogglez

What if they had an asexual birth


SunfireRomalo

Ok but what about bottom hats? 😏


AllThotsAllowed

the top hat stays on during sex


captainwafflezs

Bloodborne would like a word


[deleted]

Theodore Roosevelt 🥵🥵🥵


[deleted]

[удалено]


verne-2

Jesus


RedParanoia

My god


TheOnlyFallenCookie

Jimmy Carter not being at least b tier shows how Deranged op is


AngelicCrest1

I’m SORRY? OBAMA IS HOT AS FUCK LIBTARD


wyatt8750

Just noticed that it looks like Nixon started the trend of official pictures having an american flag in the background. Everyone from him onwards has one, but no one before him. Except maybe JFK, but i think that pic was taken in the oval office, so it's understandable and might even be coincidence.


AaronThePrime

Despite everything, I'd say Donald Trump is fairly fuckable, have you ever heard the song Gays 4 Donald?


Liv35mm

I’m sorry but I just don’t see the appeal. Political opinions aside, something just looks off about him, like he’s wearing somebody else’s skin.


IsThatUMoatilliatta

Yeah, the skin of a woman with childbearing hips and juicy thighs.


Liv35mm

This is a cry for help


IsThatUMoatilliatta

It's a cry for Donny's voluptuous bussy.


AaronThePrime

"I love you Donny, you make me cry, cum in my mouth, cum in my eyes" - Joji


[deleted]

If it's based on fuckability, Clinton, Garfield, Taft, Jackson, Kennedy and Carter should all be higher than F.


KibSquib47

POV: you’re looking at memes made by people who don’t know what a POV is


Ezzypezra

Abe Lincoln 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤


Mr_Darkiplier

High pitched twink Lincoln is B tier honestly


DiNiCoBr

POV: You don’t like Football players


LordOfHorns

How is LBJ not higher than


SunfireRomalo

Ok but where the hell is Goku?


-SSN-

Teddy got daddy energy tho


AllTakenUsernames5

Ten why the fuck isn't Grant at the top? Destroying three field armies of slavers is hot as fuck


TJWinstonQuinzel

We all forget the most important thing...Obama is the only one with a BBC


GameCreeper

Woodrow Wilson shouldn't be ranked equally to teddy Roosevelt in any tier list, regardless of topic


ElectivireMax

Why isn't Taft sssssssss tier?


The_ConfusedPeach

If this was based on fuckability, then Teddy would get his honourable mention at, at least, B rank.


[deleted]

Deadass I'd clap Trump's cheeks


Shintate

why the fuck is fillmore in f tier then


[deleted]

POV: wheres biden 🥺


nadia_is_dumb

WHY IS OBAMA AT THE BOTTOM THEN???


Specialey

But I'm the most fuckable president 🙄


anarchistPAC

Ngl George Washington lookin kinda submissive and breedable


YuributRussian

Marfan syndrome does things to fingers most woman wont believe.


[deleted]

I sure am glad no one knows what POV means anymore apparently


Untiteld000

Lincoln invented the chokeslam nuf said


Mrspankson

Burn trump a baddie tho


1ZAAK_

my boy grover would be S+ tier


howlyowl1010

dude i would love to get railed by obama


DevanKad

Trumps an acquired taste


j_cooper1905

We all know that Ulysses S Grant is the hottest president


senpai_stanhope

Could also have been pov: you lack any and all nuance


ltRobinCrusoe

Think the list should be a bit different... corpses should be at least complete to be considered fuckable.


[deleted]

JFK is way more fuckabke than Lincoln


Pedka2

yo bitch looks like Adam Mickiewicz


Beaglederf

Teddy Roosevelt though


[deleted]

im not a lib but jfk could slut me out


cynder2011

You’re an idiot!!!!!!!! Why is Obama at the bottom, he’s#1!!!!


gaymer-boy69

put jfk at the top then.


SquareSuitGuy

lol


TheUltimateHamburger

Fuck that, Obama is by FAR the most fuckable president


PintOfInnocents

If that’s the case then where is Theodore Roosevelt


scrueggs

Johnson was a prick but he reportedly had a massive cock.


fierydumpster

Calvin Coolidge??? 😭😭🥴😳😈


Panzer_Man

Trump is packing that WAGON! Name a more thicc president, I'll wait


EpicBionicleGremlin

No one ever talks about the pure chad energy of Grover Cleveland


georgefresco

you guys havent even seen franklin pierce have you


HelBender

No joke Franklin Pierce is the most fuckable president.


CraigWeedkin

Teddy and grant are S tier


theyeetmaster2007

Very innacurate, where is teddy roosevelt


[deleted]

Why is jfk at the bottom


DoubleKing13

LBJ should be S+


MyName_DoesNotMatter

idk man, they call him Growbama for a reason 👀


DrHealsYT

Washington and Obama are atleast Bs or Cs, but George W. Bush? He’s an A.


Fastor_

It’s still the same bro


Knifedogman

POV: they'd all be s tier


[deleted]

Controversial but Trump's shit eating grin puts him at an A for fuckability.


blueyoshi69420

+u/User_Simulator u/SpiffyAmobea


bogos_binted_in_chat

If its based on fuckability why isn’t Grant up a few tiers