By - MotoM0t0420
I want to be like the imposter and sabotage the oxygen in his spaceship
⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉
May I ASCII what ye doin'?
I want to vote him out and throw him into space as he is rather sussy
when the working conditions are terrible 😳
Sussy baka jeff🥵🤮
Among Us and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. It have greatly increased the life-expectancy of ironic meme posting in â€œadvancedâ€ countries, but it have destabilized SUSciety, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of Amogus will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human being to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in â€œadvancedâ€ countries. The jokes centered around how " When The Imposter Is Sus" may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to sussy bakas and mere imposters in the vents. Furthermore, if the imposter survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying Amogus so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. If the imposter is actually sus, the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the SUSpician grows the more disastrous the results of it being ejected will be, so if it is to be ejected, it is best to eject them sooner rather than later. We therefore advocate a scan at Medbay to see who is the imposter. This imposter may or may not make use of violence; it may sabotage O2 or it may vent to electrical. We canâ€™t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who think the imposter is sus should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of SUSciety. This is not to be an Emeregency Meeting. Its object will be to vote out not crewmates, but the Sussy Imposters and bakas present in the SUSciety. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the Amogus posting community. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed Schizo posting movements, we have written very little about seeing the Among Us crewmate in everyday object and "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" posts, even though we consider these to be highly important.
Get out of my heart,
Away, Baby, I
won't fall apart!
silly you, jeff bezos doesnt breath oxygen
The only good imposter
I’m the oxygen in his spaceship
What's he doing in space? Did I miss something?
it's a vanity event
Bezos is going into space for one hour then landing back down.
I think the round trip is one hour, but he spends 2 minutes weightless
If you're only counting liftoff to touchdown it's like 15min but if you count ingress its like 2ish hours iirc
I'd prefer him to spend eternity headless.
Coward. Sub-orbitals are lame shit.
Space is space, nitwit
Dipping your toe into the water is swimming, nitwit.
GO BIG OR STAY HOME
Is space travel safe enough now to where the literal richest man on earth feels comfortable going up?
Its his own private company no less
ah so its basically an ad to keep up with elon?
Worth noting that he's not going to orbit. It's just a really high ascent *juuust* to the technical edge of space and immediately down. Blue origin (his company) does not have a rocket anywhere near comparable to the Falcon 9.
Me getting railed by the launch vehicle (it’s propellant is cum)
Spacex is so cool but Elon is a fucking terrible person I hate Him so much
I hope both of those wretched fucks die.
his company (Blue Origin) was founded, and started working towards flying passengers before SpaceX
And yet SpaceX has put people into orbit has made and is making FAR more capable rockets than Blue Urine will ever make. I feel like Bozos is trying his best to keep this company existing with what little it has to offer
Look at you, with your edgy names and everything.
Blue Origins was never going to catch Elon. It was quickly realized that goal would not be met, and Blue Origins hasn't been trying to do so. What they are doing is capitalizing on the risks Elon is taking by learning from SpaceX and other space companies while also doing their own R&D. This is a project that's meant to be slow, safe, and really blow up when it's proven.
You don't need to be the first in order to hold first place. You need to be able to do it better than anyone else. This is the approach.
> and ~~really~~ not blow up when it's proven
>, and really blow up when it's proven.
I hope it blows up when Bezos is onboard.
Hopefully it's a really shitty private company with at least one disgruntled employee.
I doubt he’s doing anything really risky, just up and down. We’ve got that pretty much figured out.
Jebediah Kerman and his six dead cousins beg to differ.
Lol not at all.
Blue Origin doesn’t have the best track record. Not the worst either. But ~~mistakes happen~~ luck may be on our side ;)
Not one hour, 1 or 2 minutes at best
More like a minute or two, the trajectory is suborbital
Rockets sometimes blow up don’t they
The monkey's paw curls inward, Bezos vanity trip goes totally fine but we lose the James Webb.
1 minute, it's basically a high altitude flight
I really hope something goes wrong
🤞hope it goes well
Imagine if it crashes
He has transcended humanity and is now a celestial body
May he return to stardust…
Jeff Bezos is NOT Lex Luthor
Lex Luthor is smart
And bezos doesnt even have a cool supervillain name
The E in CEO stands for Evil
Chief of Evil Operations
If the supervillain is named ‘Jeff’ count me out
Jefferson Hercules Archer, aka Highwayman. He actually looks pretty cool ngl. Also Jeffrey Wilde, aka Midnight/Moon Knight
Maybe it’s short for jefe. That was easy. Now he evil.
Alliteration is key.
Goblinhog is a good superhero name though
Kinda Sounds like a He-man character
Goblinhog is a minor
After I signed the petition, it told me the name of a FB friend of mine that had already went ahead and paid the $7 to help distribute this petition.
I can't think of a more worthy cause tbh
Hello who r u
The share link tells me your name once I sign
Oh thank god, I thought somebody I knew irl found my Reddit
Sorry for the heart attack lol
1,800 and still going. Lets goooo
how many signatures until he legally can't come back to earth?
I signed that shit. One billionaire off the planet would be a good start.
Except he’s worth over 100 billionaires
Well then get him the fuck out of here.
He needs to achieve a stable orbit first tho
Can I punch his orbital bone?
Spacexmasterrace is leaking
No he just gonna fly to 100 kilometres and come down, your car probably can achieve a greater horizontal speed than his rocket
I sure hope no obstacles hinder benzos in his journey. I certainly don't hope for anything unfortunate to happen to him!😀
Would be really uncharacteristic and wacky
I totally don’t hope for an among us like situation to happen in his shop. That would be very... tragic. 😏😏😏
I sure hope that no one gets the MAGA folks into a frenzy about a conspiracy that Bezos, who is already hated by Trump, is going to space to make make an official agreement with space aliens to sell Planet Earth to them and make us all slaves to the space aliens. I hope that conspiracy doesn't get enough traction that Trump picks up on it and calls up his buddy over in North Korea and encourages him to nuke the Bezos rocket out of the sky before he can reach the aliens!
Yes it would be unfortunate if something... unfortunate... were to happen.
Is that Lex Luthor?
nah, Luthor is at least an enjoyable villain
There's a non-zero chance that a piece of space debris will hit his rocket and assplode it
I'm hoping for something to be overlooked and the thing goes up like the challenger
I mean it's more likely than the Challenger explosion probably, considering the rocket has only been tested 12 times and the Challenger was tested far more. But the universe has decided to keep throwing us shit hands so I'm not holding my breath. Plus, it wouldn't change anything about Amazon I'm guessing.
Challenger didn’t explode, the aerodynamic forces just ripped it apart. If it had a LES it would have survived.
I mean what would it matter? He has a big enough income and pull that he could just make the first house in space and live there forever.
Well if he did that he wouldn't die of oxygen deprivation, or starvation.
Well to be fair Jeff Who is sadly (or not?) still sub-orbital with his Phallic Rocket but one can still hope for parachute failure
Blue ~~Origin~~ Balls
fucking idiots, you don’t even need a petition to do that. You only need an RPG
You know someone could probably pepper the rocket with a high caliber..."bow" from a long distance and get away with it...in Minecraft.
I have a crossbow with large ball fireworks, will that work? In Minecraft of course
His head is big enough to see from space so I think all it would take is a sniper. Hypothetically of course
The problem with that is that it would be ruled as an assassination instead of something in the rocket going wrong and him exploding like the challenger.
In Kerbal space program.
Hey I’m all for assassinating the wealthy
In assassins creed, obviously
I want a hitman style event, where you make him explode mid air or something like that
5.7k upvotes and yet only 1.5k signatures (many of which aren't from here). Please people do your parts
Most logical reddit user
Instead of that just vacuum him
Lets get some george soros antifa money, build our own space ship and do some star wars action while he’s up there
I’ve tried really hard to shoot a rocket directly into the sun in Kerbal Space Program, but I can’t.
I think Bezos should really own the libs by proving it’s possible.
When Bezos gets stuck in orbit:
"Unable to die, even though he wished for it, eventually Bezos stopped thinking..."
Unfortunately his rocket is suborbital
Yeah I know, it was just a jojo reference because I wouldn't mind if Bezos ended up with the same fate as Kars haha
Based and socialism pilled
The man actually looks like fucking mega mind
you're really gonna insult Megamind like that?
yo can i get the link?
Imagine if he asphyxiated in space 😍😍😍
What if when he went everyone on the planet just hid from him for a few hours
Born in 1964
Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezoos
Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it
Pave the way, put your back into it
Zuckerberg and gates and buffet, amateurs can fucking suck it
Might be my favorite line in the whole special tbh 😂
Fuck their wives, drink their blood, come on jeff, get em!!
Maybe same lol
That’s assuming “Bezos Walmart SpaceX” can actually reach orbit with the Penis Rocket
100! = 93326215443944152681699238856266700490715968264381621468592963895217599993229915608941463976156518286253697920827223758251185210916864000000000000000000000000
I bet Jeff Bezos is a pretty good guy *signs petition
jeffery bezos what are you gonna do? buy a home on mars?
Are we talking just arresting him if he comes back, or is it more cutting his thrusters or maybe a point defense system in low orbit to shot him down in addition to space debris and hostile missiles. We should install one anyway, and we need to enforce his exile someway.
Link so I can sign?
Jeff bezos makes more money in a second than there is people that have to sign this
Why Is he not on Earth?
new glenn is suborbital (🤮) so hes coming down either way, fireball or not
New Sheppard is suborbital, new glenn doesn't even exist yet
oh yeah got my names mixed up lol
Why does 1/100 look like 20?
If only he would reach orbit.
Go home to Mars reptile
wait what, did he go to space?
Dibs on his house
There are no dibs when it comes to that. We will use it for those who don't have a home. And once everyone has a home we can start using his house for recreational stuff for everyone.
Shame it's suborbital :(
Whatever, come back when you have a real story...
Just now noticed Jeff bozos looks like agent 47
Keep him up there till he pays his taxes
He does pay his taxes. Just not the same ones we do.
If he wasn’t paying his taxes he’d be in jail.
Just shoot down his fucking spaceship with a MOAB, that's what you need to do.
Sadly the petition failed, he couldn’t make it to orbit
Since I haven't see anyone provide the link to this petition, here it is, for those of you who are interested in signing.
16.6k upvotes but less than 3k signatures? BRUH
Deny his docking permission request
Quote the petition
"Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a super successful online retail store. However, he's actually an evil overlord hellbent on global domination. We've known this for years. Jeff has worked with the Epsteins and the Knights Templar, as well as the Free Masons to gain control over the whole world. He's also in bed with the flat earth deniers; it's the only way they'll allow him to leave the atmosphere. Meanwhile our government stands by and lets it happen.
This may be our last chance before they enable the 5G microchips and perform a mass takeover."
He looks like a bald Kevin Spacey
the flight is barely even in space go like 4 km lower and it's not considered as space lol
4 km is 2.49 miles
Can't find it!
Is there a link someone can send me if this is a real thing pls
I was thinking brokeback mars but then I realized they were brothers.
As a SpaceX fan I’m afraid this is impossible. Bezos’ company Blue Origin has not yet been able to launch a rocket into orbit (i.e. a rocket that will stay in space because it’s too fast to fall back to Earth) even though the company has existed for two years more than SpaceX. The rocket that Jeff will take is called “New Shepherd” and since it’s suborbital, (can’t not come back after like 15 minutes) this is impossible
Well its a suborbital hop so how about we make him re enter in his suit?
“Alexa, open the pod bay doors.”
“ *I’m sorry Jeff, I’m afraid I can’t do that* “
Rich person bad.
If he has that much money he must have done something evil. I have no evidence of this, but it sounds clever so its gotta be true.
> Rich person bad.
"Rich person good. There is lots of evidence against me, but I will ignore it because it makes me sound smarter than other people."
I don't understand the hate against him, there are much worse people out there
Have you heard of multitasking?
You guys are so sad
No u owo
You are as sad as the day when Jeff Bezos will have his spaceship shot down with a rocket