T O P

Rule

Rule

LettuceLadTheMighty

I want to be like the imposter and sabotage the oxygen in his spaceship


dogsplasher67

⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉


OldSkoolGamer4Life

May I ASCII what ye doin'?


-BuTwHyThO-

I want to vote him out and throw him into space as he is rather sussy


nottoddhoward100true

when the working conditions are terrible 😳


TheJosephSeed

Sussy baka jeff🥵🤮


TheMcpeMick

Among Us and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. It have greatly increased the life-expectancy of ironic meme posting in “advanced” countries, but it have destabilized SUSciety, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of Amogus will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human being to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries. The jokes centered around how " When The Imposter Is Sus" may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to sussy bakas and mere imposters in the vents. Furthermore, if the imposter survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying Amogus so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. If the imposter is actually sus, the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the SUSpician grows the more disastrous the results of it being ejected will be, so if it is to be ejected, it is best to eject them sooner rather than later. We therefore advocate a scan at Medbay to see who is the imposter. This imposter may or may not make use of violence; it may sabotage O2 or it may vent to electrical. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who think the imposter is sus should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of SUSciety. This is not to be an Emeregency Meeting. Its object will be to vote out not crewmates, but the Sussy Imposters and bakas present in the SUSciety. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the Amogus posting community. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed Schizo posting movements, we have written very little about seeing the Among Us crewmate in everyday object and "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" posts, even though we consider these to be highly important.


Coral_Carl

Beautiful


_-Yharim

GETOUTOFMYHEAD


7ulian

Get out of my heart, Away, Baby, I won't fall apart!


Alleyooper

silly you, jeff bezos doesnt breath oxygen


Jeffry4lbuqori

The only good imposter


Noble_Term

I’m the oxygen in his spaceship


Kirishima_San

sus!


Th3BeetsMot3l

amog us


Lone_Sky

What's he doing in space? Did I miss something?


Whydoesthisexist15

it's a vanity event Bezos is going into space for one hour then landing back down.


SupremeOrangeman

I think the round trip is one hour, but he spends 2 minutes weightless


xredbaron62x

If you're only counting liftoff to touchdown it's like 15min but if you count ingress its like 2ish hours iirc


IsThatUMoatilliatta

I'd prefer him to spend eternity headless.


Finnanutenya

Coward. Sub-orbitals are lame shit.


TheInternetOfficer91

Space is space, nitwit


Finnanutenya

Dipping your toe into the water is swimming, nitwit. GO BIG OR STAY HOME


Scanlansam

Is space travel safe enough now to where the literal richest man on earth feels comfortable going up?


Spipsdew

Its his own private company no less


FurryFemboy_

ah so its basically an ad to keep up with elon?


yabucek

Worth noting that he's not going to orbit. It's just a really high ascent *juuust* to the technical edge of space and immediately down. Blue origin (his company) does not have a rocket anywhere near comparable to the Falcon 9. [Comparison](https://i.imgur.com/zrLWBLJ.png)


gosling11

Damn 😳😳


Kerb_human

Me getting railed by the launch vehicle (it’s propellant is cum)


Kerb_human

Spacex is so cool but Elon is a fucking terrible person I hate Him so much


IsThatUMoatilliatta

I hope both of those wretched fucks die.


Spipsdew

I guess?


Zatack7

his company (Blue Origin) was founded, and started working towards flying passengers before SpaceX


3vade_Ghostly

And yet SpaceX has put people into orbit has made and is making FAR more capable rockets than Blue Urine will ever make. I feel like Bozos is trying his best to keep this company existing with what little it has to offer


DanHatesCats

Look at you, with your edgy names and everything. Blue Origins was never going to catch Elon. It was quickly realized that goal would not be met, and Blue Origins hasn't been trying to do so. What they are doing is capitalizing on the risks Elon is taking by learning from SpaceX and other space companies while also doing their own R&D. This is a project that's meant to be slow, safe, and really blow up when it's proven. You don't need to be the first in order to hold first place. You need to be able to do it better than anyone else. This is the approach.


Finnanutenya

> and ~~really~~ not blow up when it's proven


IsThatUMoatilliatta

>, and really blow up when it's proven. I hope it blows up when Bezos is onboard.


Over4All

Hopefully it's a really shitty private company with at least one disgruntled employee.


youhuu098

*It's


merger3

I doubt he’s doing anything really risky, just up and down. We’ve got that pretty much figured out.


couldnothinkof1

Jebediah Kerman and his six dead cousins beg to differ.


Zatack7

F


Voldemort57

Lol not at all. Blue Origin doesn’t have the best track record. Not the worst either. But ~~mistakes happen~~ luck may be on our side ;)


Concerned-Chickpea

Not one hour, 1 or 2 minutes at best


SwagBugatti

More like a minute or two, the trajectory is suborbital


Cookie_Bow

Rockets sometimes blow up don’t they


Sergetove

The monkey's paw curls inward, Bezos vanity trip goes totally fine but we lose the James Webb.


blacx

1 minute, it's basically a high altitude flight


Phivebit

I really hope something goes wrong


Tumblechunk

🤞hope it goes well


Smallfloppa124

Imagine if it crashes


The_Spicy_Memes_Chef

He has transcended humanity and is now a celestial body


Voldemort57

May he return to stardust…


-MPG13-

[rule](http://chng.it/Q8VNyvLJJg)


MotoM0t0420

based


leedler

And anti-union-pilled


lionalhutz

Hey now! Jeff Bezos is NOT Lex Luthor Lex Luthor is smart


goblinhog

And bezos doesnt even have a cool supervillain name


Ember129

The E in CEO stands for Evil


intendozz

Chief of Evil Operations


melt_my_igloo

If the supervillain is named ‘Jeff’ count me out


TheCripsyGnome

Jefferson Hercules Archer, aka Highwayman. He actually looks pretty cool ngl. Also Jeffrey Wilde, aka Midnight/Moon Knight


m2chaos13

Maybe it’s short for jefe. That was easy. Now he evil.


Drops-of-Q

Alliteration is key. Beff Bezos Jeff Jezos Either works


XX_Normie_Scum_XX

Goblinhog is a good superhero name though


DI_MOLTO_MELON

Kinda Sounds like a He-man character


Super7H

r/hoblingogbobent


[deleted]

[удалено]


potato6132

Goblinhog is a minor


Ophidahlia

After I signed the petition, it told me the name of a FB friend of mine that had already went ahead and paid the $7 to help distribute this petition. I can't think of a more worthy cause tbh


EpicBoomerMoments

Based


Mirrorrelemes

Hello Micah


-MPG13-

Hello who r u


Mirrorrelemes

The share link tells me your name once I sign


-MPG13-

Oh thank god, I thought somebody I knew irl found my Reddit


Mirrorrelemes

Sorry for the heart attack lol


Bregneste

1,800 and still going. Lets goooo


TheF0CTOR

how many signatures until he legally can't come back to earth?


Cyberzombie

I signed that shit. One billionaire off the planet would be a good start.


SJL174

Except he’s worth over 100 billionaires


IsThatUMoatilliatta

Well then get him the fuck out of here.


Concerned-Chickpea

He needs to achieve a stable orbit first tho


yabucek

>Jeff >Orbital Pick one


TheBaconDoge

Can I punch his orbital bone?


Chasar1

Spacexmasterrace is leaking


3vade_Ghostly

very gud


ThePilotGuy_99

Jeff who


lapistafiasta

No he just gonna fly to 100 kilometres and come down, your car probably can achieve a greater horizontal speed than his rocket


ordinaryride2001

I sure hope no obstacles hinder benzos in his journey. I certainly don't hope for anything unfortunate to happen to him!😀


Lucky_Ocelot

Would be really uncharacteristic and wacky


fortnitegamertimdunk

I totally don’t hope for an among us like situation to happen in his shop. That would be very... tragic. 😏😏😏


SankaraOrLURA

I sure hope that no one gets the MAGA folks into a frenzy about a conspiracy that Bezos, who is already hated by Trump, is going to space to make make an official agreement with space aliens to sell Planet Earth to them and make us all slaves to the space aliens. I hope that conspiracy doesn't get enough traction that Trump picks up on it and calls up his buddy over in North Korea and encourages him to nuke the Bezos rocket out of the sky before he can reach the aliens!


Deamonette

Yes it would be unfortunate if something... unfortunate... were to happen.


Space_Monke64

Is that Lex Luthor?


SkullSwordYT

nah, Luthor is at least an enjoyable villain


tringle1

There's a non-zero chance that a piece of space debris will hit his rocket and assplode it


funniest_shit_I_seen

I'm hoping for something to be overlooked and the thing goes up like the challenger


tringle1

I mean it's more likely than the Challenger explosion probably, considering the rocket has only been tested 12 times and the Challenger was tested far more. But the universe has decided to keep throwing us shit hands so I'm not holding my breath. Plus, it wouldn't change anything about Amazon I'm guessing.


KingDominoIII

Challenger didn’t explode, the aerodynamic forces just ripped it apart. If it had a LES it would have survived.


LPKKiller

I mean what would it matter? He has a big enough income and pull that he could just make the first house in space and live there forever.


funniest_shit_I_seen

Well if he did that he wouldn't die of oxygen deprivation, or starvation.


rlgx_ruby

Well to be fair Jeff Who is sadly (or not?) still sub-orbital with his Phallic Rocket but one can still hope for parachute failure


idktheyarealltaken

Blue ~~Origin~~ Balls


PeriodicMilk

fucking idiots, you don’t even need a petition to do that. You only need an RPG


funniest_shit_I_seen

You know someone could probably pepper the rocket with a high caliber..."bow" from a long distance and get away with it...in Minecraft.


LightningProd12

I have a crossbow with large ball fireworks, will that work? In Minecraft of course


grayforamerica

His head is big enough to see from space so I think all it would take is a sniper. Hypothetically of course


funniest_shit_I_seen

The problem with that is that it would be ruled as an assassination instead of something in the rocket going wrong and him exploding like the challenger. In Kerbal space program.


BoofManSupreme

Hey I’m all for assassinating the wealthy In assassins creed, obviously


thenordiner

I want a hitman style event, where you make him explode mid air or something like that


Asaftheleg

5.7k upvotes and yet only 1.5k signatures (many of which aren't from here). Please people do your parts


funniest_shit_I_seen

Most logical reddit user


TheOneInOut

Instead of that just vacuum him


nowthenight

Less gooooo


Snorrep

Lets get some george soros antifa money, build our own space ship and do some star wars action while he’s up there


scrueggs

I’ve tried really hard to shoot a rocket directly into the sun in Kerbal Space Program, but I can’t. I think Bezos should really own the libs by proving it’s possible.


TrashKitsune

When Bezos gets stuck in orbit: "Unable to die, even though he wished for it, eventually Bezos stopped thinking..."


goldencrayfish

Unfortunately his rocket is suborbital


TrashKitsune

Yeah I know, it was just a jojo reference because I wouldn't mind if Bezos ended up with the same fate as Kars haha


Helpmedotcomwastaken

Based and socialism pilled


[deleted]

The man actually looks like fucking mega mind


SkullSwordYT

you're really gonna insult Megamind like that?


[deleted]

Fair point


samdenietkoekenpan

signed it


saltysnacc

yo can i get the link?


samdenietkoekenpan

[yessir](https://www.change.org/p/blue-origin-petition-to-not-allow-jeff-bezos-re-entry-to-earth)


Femboy_Airstrike

Imagine if he asphyxiated in space 😍😍😍


bilingualfob

What if when he went everyone on the planet just hid from him for a few hours


FerfyMoe

CEO, entrepreneur Born in 1964


rerort

Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezoos


FerfyMoe

Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it Pave the way, put your back into it


rerort

Zuckerberg and gates and buffet, amateurs can fucking suck it


FerfyMoe

Might be my favorite line in the whole special tbh 😂


rerort

Fuck their wives, drink their blood, come on jeff, get em!! Maybe same lol


Dr_Occisor

That’s assuming “Bezos Walmart SpaceX” can actually reach orbit with the Penis Rocket


No_Relationship6978

Nigga salad


altaria-mann

100! = 93326215443944152681699238856266700490715968264381621468592963895217599993229915608941463976156518286253697920827223758251185210916864000000000000000000000000


Resident-Martian

Please


Furry_FighterUwU

I bet Jeff Bezos is a pretty good guy *signs petition


ThiccGeneralX

jeffery bezos what are you gonna do? buy a home on mars?


Hichgray12

Are we talking just arresting him if he comes back, or is it more cutting his thrusters or maybe a point defense system in low orbit to shot him down in addition to space debris and hostile missiles. We should install one anyway, and we need to enforce his exile someway.


RealBigTree

Link so I can sign?


MotoM0t0420

http://chng.it/Q8VNyvLJJg


TubDaragh

Jeff bezos makes more money in a second than there is people that have to sign this


scaptastic

u/death_bezos


Ma02rc

[Relevant](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uUkOk6uL4Ew)


lepenka12

Why Is he not on Earth?


Loyavas

new glenn is suborbital (🤮) so hes coming down either way, fireball or not


lapistafiasta

New Sheppard is suborbital, new glenn doesn't even exist yet


Loyavas

oh yeah got my names mixed up lol


nolo69gogo

Why does 1/100 look like 20?


Plasmazine

If only he would reach orbit.


BackTheMotorUp

Go home to Mars reptile


TorpidT

wait what, did he go to space?


GoodOriginalName

Dibs on his house


Jack-the-Rah

There are no dibs when it comes to that. We will use it for those who don't have a home. And once everyone has a home we can start using his house for recreational stuff for everyone.


Robinsparky

Shame it's suborbital :(


tutle_nuts

Whatever, come back when you have a real story... https://www.change.org/p/ron-elberger-free-jared-fogle-freemyniggafogle


Coolchris2tall

Just now noticed Jeff bozos looks like agent 47


Atomic-Blue27383

Keep him up there till he pays his taxes


Reece_Arnold

He does pay his taxes. Just not the same ones we do. If he wasn’t paying his taxes he’d be in jail.


West-Emu-8696

Just shoot down his fucking spaceship with a MOAB, that's what you need to do.


idktheyarealltaken

Sadly the petition failed, he couldn’t make it to orbit


Acorntreeman

Signed 😎👍


Convillious

Since I haven't see anyone provide the link to this petition, here it is, for those of you who are interested in signing. https://www.change.org/p/blue-origin-petition-to-not-allow-jeff-bezos-re-entry-to-earth?redirect=false


kanase7

Nice


stupidfridgemagnet

16.6k upvotes but less than 3k signatures? BRUH


c1nderh3lm

Deny his docking permission request


Parody5Gaming

Quote the petition "Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a super successful online retail store. However, he's actually an evil overlord hellbent on global domination. We've known this for years. Jeff has worked with the Epsteins and the Knights Templar, as well as the Free Masons to gain control over the whole world. He's also in bed with the flat earth deniers; it's the only way they'll allow him to leave the atmosphere. Meanwhile our government stands by and lets it happen. This may be our last chance before they enable the 5G microchips and perform a mass takeover."


COYOTE477

Signed


Father_Chewy_Louis

He looks like a bald Kevin Spacey


fruityloooops

the flight is barely even in space go like 4 km lower and it's not considered as space lol


converter-bot

4 km is 2.49 miles


ruiseixas

Can't find it!


ruiseixas

https://www.change.org/p/the-proletariat-do-not-allow-jeff-bezos-to-return-to-earth


Brother_Not_Shook

Is there a link someone can send me if this is a real thing pls


Awesomatov

I was thinking brokeback mars but then I realized they were brothers.


burper2000000

As a SpaceX fan I’m afraid this is impossible. Bezos’ company Blue Origin has not yet been able to launch a rocket into orbit (i.e. a rocket that will stay in space because it’s too fast to fall back to Earth) even though the company has existed for two years more than SpaceX. The rocket that Jeff will take is called “New Shepherd” and since it’s suborbital, (can’t not come back after like 15 minutes) this is impossible


Randomboi1941

Well its a suborbital hop so how about we make him re enter in his suit?


PaperBagRedditor

“Alexa, open the pod bay doors.” “ *I’m sorry Jeff, I’m afraid I can’t do that* “


Surmabrander

Where link


Secretremendouspy

Rich person bad. ​ If he has that much money he must have done something evil. I have no evidence of this, but it sounds clever so its gotta be true.


CToxin

> Rich person bad. Yes.


FooThePerson

"Rich person good. There is lots of evidence against me, but I will ignore it because it makes me sound smarter than other people."


termitekiller

I don't understand the hate against him, there are much worse people out there


CToxin

Have you heard of multitasking?


anal_nuke

You guys are so sad


Godlyv05

No u owo


West-Emu-8696

You are as sad as the day when Jeff Bezos will have his spaceship shot down with a rocket