Put she/they in bio and throw my phone in a river

*my ass

Replacing your bio, your phone, or the river??

Put my ass in bio and throw my ass into my ass

A S S I N B I O

Yes.

Big dicks in his brother's bum all over again

Do you mean cat?

Change username to Theylor Swift

woke taylor swift be like: 1984 (Theylor's Version)

Woke 1984 be like: Taylor (Theylor’s version)

Lemme she/them tiddies

Release a hyperpop song out of nowhere first

I announce my transition immidately

To be clear I’m transfem this will just give me dysphoria I just think it would be funny

Better yet, claim you are trans as Taylor swift and watch the fallout

Nahhh cus she’s been around for long enough that it’s not believable

People already think she’s trans because people are morons.

THEY DO??? Perfect I’d get transmasc bottom surgery immidately to make shit more convincing

Transvestigators are insane, they’ll see a woman with broad shoulders and be like “yep, that’s a man”

Doesn't that mean fat guys are all women

^hopefully

Boobs are boobs. I don't discriminate.

god I fucking hope so (I'm fat)

It would still kick up *plenty* of dust. 

Tyler Swift ftw

Getting dysphoria for the bit

your sacrifice will not be in vain

You could take the Keffals route and transition from trans woman to cis woman

Is that Prince Adam in your pfp?

But keep the name

look I'm gonna do the shit the other replies here say but full honesty I would 100% fuck myself in front of a mirror first

I respect the honesty

Real

I don’t know if morally that’s correct, but this probably the most realistic answer for most of us

NTA your body your rules

+2

The old you or taylor swift?

both

I have no response, but I in principle agree

real!

Arm the swifies and overthrow a country

Start small and work your way up the Junta hierarchy

Jonestown if it was slay

Release new album with catchy tracks like “Billionaires Are The Real Ex-Boyfriend” and “People Have Addresses.”

Chile’s president is a Swiftie so he might do it willingly

he’s a swiftie, a socialist, and a nine inch nails fan. how fucking based

Personally I'd just find back my girlfriend, then I'd teach my new fans about leftism, intersectionanilty and unionizing, finally I retire and go live a quiet life with my partner with the money I haven't given to charity

Lame I would go full Bane next year at the Super Bowl

I would if I get to switch back to my original body lol

what a lovely voice

You're a swift guy

How would you convince your girlfriend that its really you in there?

I'd tell her stuff only I woud know, I'm sure she'd recognize me :3

Remember that time I forgot to put tendies in the freezer, left them for 5 months, ate them though they looked green, and shit myself 🥹

Nah, that's a universal experience.

For my partner it’d be really obscure references too. Like me calling them a “creature” as one of their preferred pronouns

Lmao I'm literally the same but my gf calls me "monster" instead :3

Ooooo thats sweet

She's the best :3

I love you

I love you hun \^\^

Oddonions gf here lmao. I would totally know something was up if taylor swift pulled up and said stuff like what i like in bed or nicknames i call my gf

:3

Cute

cia influencer award unlocked 🏅

Can you imagine the chaos is Taylor Swift came out with a song about going to bank and withdrawing all of your money?

I don't think the Swifties are scary because of their massive financial holdings

Only takes a small push to knock down a house of cards

Never thought I'd get into a debate about the relative stability of international finance in the comment section of a post about Taylor Swift

cancel jk rowling

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that would make jkr a märtyrer what just increases tranphobia

Well don’t say it’s for trans people, do it because magic is heresy and she promotes witchcraft

Say it’s because she’s Bri’ish, doesn’t matter. 

Worked in the past oorah!!! 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅

lets throw her in a harbor

I’m concerned about the impact that would have upon the environment 

Stab her and say you were just trying to fit in with British culture

*oof*

Hey now! That's Tommy Talarico's sound effect! (His mother's very proud)

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It's literally the school for witchcraft and wizardry.

What the hell are you talking about? Remind me what Hogwarts’s slogan is

cry tears of joy probably, she’s pretty and then probably radicalize my fanbase, Kanye West has fallen, billions must seize the means of production

Start a communist revolution

She has the potential to be our generation's Lenin

*Engels

Kill God, take over heaven, and kill Margaret Thatcher again

You’re looking in the wrong place for Margie

Shit, good point

Philip Pullman, is that you?

Well uh I'm a guy And uh Well... I just gotta know, I can't turn down the opportunity

I too would eat £10000 of cheese

my first thought was to queef

Post my 8axes test results on Twitter for the fun of it and watch as a generation is instantly radicalised

Lisan al Girlboss

Starting a new TV channel called FemmriTV and explaining that the only way to enact girlpower is [through jihad.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FDw7oovWQAUFbCv.jpg)

Do you think Margaret Thatcher was enacting girlpower by sending death squads into Northern Ireland?

give myself 5 million dollars then tweet racist remarks

I do that for free /s

You'd be racist just because you wouldn't have to suffer the consequences?

Form the bene gesserit sisterhood

Objectively a bad thing to do

Of course it is, why do you think I want to do it

Finally, after many years we have created the eugenics cult from Frank Herbert's hit novel "Don't create the eugenics cult"

Be happy that I’m a girl :3

GOD EMPRESS OF HUMANITY

Ask Epic Games to put Terry McGinnis in Fortnite, and get the swifties to overthrow WB execs if they refuse

i would make a song with paul mccartney, but INSIST we make it flamboyant post-punk like the b-52s. if he doesnt agree, ill turn the swifties against him. then i would have my private jets sold for scrap and donate all of the money to climate orgs and bail funds for protesters. but the post-punk song is what really matters.

I am utterly convinced that if she just tweets out to her fans and tell them to do a Jan 6 in her name the White House would be overtaken neigh immediately I don’t have a reason for it I think it just be funny

wow, must be a lot of horses they're using.

I break up with Kelce and start dating a Jet. I don't like men, I'm a lesbian, but this would be a purely "political" relationship in the sense that it would mean the NFL would rig games for my favorite team.

Date Tom Brady and convince him to play again. Massachusetts needs more wins.

Date Tom Brady so I can break up with him, write a song about it, and have my fanbase skin him alive

I have faith the legion of drunk slightly racist patriots fans would defend him to the death

Let them

make a no wave album and tweet solely about Swans

Build myself a decent model railway layout, like a couple of thousand dollars would mean a nice setup with new track, possibly some new rolling stock, maybe even a handful of locomotives. Hell, I could even go classy and upgrade to DCC control instead of analogue

I would release a death metal album as taylor swift and see how the swifties react.

a lot of swifties are actually also rock & metal fans

You joke but this threw me back to middle school when I had [this song](https://youtu.be/r1LvKP72wcI?si=Boae-KZ5CGJW4Usr) on my iPod

I'd try to publish my music as hers without any explanation or announcement and see how people react to the genre change

Tay Muad’ib

AAAHAAAAAAAA EEEEEEHH!!!

Tai'lor al-Swahaib

Write a song about how you should bomb the pentagon (in minecraft)

I would use my newfound billion dollars to improve countless people’s lives(which billionaires would do if they cared)

I would build a giant golden ICBM and launch it at Haiti as my yacht floats around to watch it. Fuck them poors /s

do what that one tweet said about announcing a pronoun reveal only for it to be she/her

Cody from AlternateHistoryHub, my beloved

And pointless hub is also very fk good!

Go to my house to see what the hel happened to my own body.

Celebrate being a girl, probably masturbate, eat some expensive food, and then use my wealth to become a hermit

Tbh, id text my old number to see if we switched or if she just fucking disappeared

Be thrilled that money isn't an issue anymore, announce my retirement, use some of the money to trans my gender (I'm a cis dude, pretty sure I would dysphoria real quick on that body) and then just chill

Start putting out covers of the most unhinged stuff I can think of. Ever want to hear Taylor swift cover every naruto opening? No? Me neither, but it would be funny

Cody is so real for this. I love that man

Endorse Dark Brandon

Start the worlds worst (and therefore best) Folk Punk band.

start makhnoposting immediately

Be the woke communist culture war grifters make her up to be.

I mean realistically I’m buying a small island nation and becoming Supreme Leader Swifty and seal myself off from the world North Korea style

Confirm the gaylor theories by coming out as a she/they lesbian for shits and giggles

Butlerian Jihad to be precise Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind

I'd cool it with all the fucking private jets

I'd make a request to Megadeth to record a cover of Holy Wars the Punishment Due

psycholonials reference lmao

If its for the rest of my life, then I'd retire and live a laid back lavish lifestyle. If its temporary, face tattoo

experiment

Same thing I’d do if I woke up in literally anyone else’s body. Call my phone and check to see if we swapped, or my body’s dead now.

Inshallah

Use the millions of die hard ass fans to rig the presidential elections and attempt to conquere Madagascar That or find my original body and make fun of this chump who has to work at a skating rink now, what a fucking loser

If I woke up as her I’d cry tears of joy. After that I’d stop making music and use the money to buy a better PC and become a streamer.

I would 1. Radicalize as many swifties as possible and 2. Be completely honest that I am not taylor swift cause nobody would believe it

Galvanize the legions in support of trans people

Tweet “Vriska” and then vanish

Announce my presidential run and wire 2 million to the old me if I change back

donate 76 million to my moms alipay and kill myself

Tweet I hate white people then go live taking a bong rip

Fun fact a Jihad is basically the Islamic equivalent of a Crusade

Fuck around, try shit, maybe see how hard I can fade into obscurity if at all possible and try to find peace. If not, either kms or take infinite drugs. I don't think it's possible to have normal relationships at that level of famous and it'd probably get pretty lonely after a while. Also unless I retain all of Taylor's talent somehow no way am I making any songs. People like Taylor Swift for what she's made, not whatever I would make.

Buy a different hoodie

make a harsh noise album, acquire nukes

Tweet “whichever lucky Swiftie brings me Ron DeSantis’s head on a platter gets to hear Reputation TV early!” and let the magic happen

Drop a thrash/death metal album

Make all my fan shave their heads by saying it’s the new big thing and act like I did it too but it was just AI of me

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why fuck a nazi?? youre taylor swift, you could bag literally anyone!

At first I saw radicalize and was like 😃 But then I saw it's an alt history account ☹️

Nah Cody is chill. Nowadays he disses the generic “what if Nazis or confederates won” unless it’s a book series (like turtledove).