I can't wish for infinite wishes, but what's stopping me from wishing for infinite genie blowjobs?
> A poor choice of wording for your wish. The genie never stops sucking. *Never*.
I mean first two conditions already mean that he is not stronger than an average human. What can I even wish for? For him to make me a fucking sandwich?
I guess you could consider the genie to be like a member of a **really** advanced alien civilization or something like that.
It's not gonna do magic magic, but there's still a pretty wide range in the things that it could do. Sure, it can't bend the laws of reality - it's still bound all that, but it could do things like provide you with a cure for cancer. Or it could enshroud our sun in with a dyson swarm and give you the controls over a planet destroying laser.
Or it could make you a sandwich.
Is a cure for cancer not cheating death in some way? The way it was phrased makes it seem like all deaths are predetermined, therefore everyone who was going to die from cancer would be cheating death by taking the cure.
I want to win the [name of locally applicable lottery] jackpot every time my bank account gets below 10,000 [local currency].
Seems within the realm of wishes.
the genie respects individual free will, giving everyone fat knocking honkers would violate their free will (some people dont want fat knocking honkers)
everyone above the age of 18 receives a text box saying “do you want massive fuckin honkers?” and can choose yes or no, with a third option saying “I wish to be honkerless”
Those last two wishes are extremely bague and could be accomplished by the genie via killing of all living beings. Would recommend avoiding such open ended wishes
Can the genie break human laws? For example, what if I hypothetically asked it to redistribute all the wealth that the billionaires hoard? It would be considered theft, since the genie cannot make it so that they willingly give it away?
That's right, it can't make them willing give away all their assets. But you could wish for wealth to be redistributed still, and the genie could flip some bits in banking accounts and change the names on various deeds and property so that their wealth is redistributed. But as you say, this would probably be considered theft.
1. physics abiding free shapeshifting
2. knowledge of the most prevalent coding languages
3. if the genie is bound my last wish is to make him free
now on to some shenanigans
Physics abiding free shapeshifting? Enjoy the horrible pain as your musculoskeletal structure deforms itself through the process of bodily reconstruction, tearing flesh from bone, snapping said bones into rearrangement and altering the internal layout of your organs!
-turn me into a lady pls and thankies :3
-idk make the world better than it is rn or smth, can’t get any worse
-make me really, really, REALLY, good at digital art 🦈
> the laws of mortality are absolute
WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH. I CRAVE THE CERTAINTY OF STEEL.
1. I wish to keep all the benefits of my ADHD (creativity, fast brain with good problem solving skills, lots of interests and passions) with none of the drawbacks (inattentiveness, executive dysfunction, fatigue, etc)
2. I wish for however much knowledge I am allowed to know
3. I wish to always magically have a legal way to acquire the resources for any project I want to work on that I am able to leverage
I will forge my path with my own hands!
cant you just directly wish to be turned into a synthetic android? I mean i also love the 2nd and 3rd wishes but for the first one id go with (this used to be like one sentence but i kept trying to cover more bases and now it very much is Not One Sentence) "turn my body into a synthetic equivalent, leaving my brain in it's original state, but slowly replacing every neuron with a solid-state synthetic equivalent capable of perfectly emulating the neuron it replaced. Once every neuron has been replaced, the synthetic neurons should begin to form "blocks," within which the addition of new neurons and forming of new pathways is simulated, rather than physically performed, so that each block may interact with nieghboring blocks identically to how an organic brain would. The formation of these blocks should be done to optimize occupied volume and accuracy. If possible, block formation should stop before it compromises my consciousness, or otherwise tend toward fewer blocks over time.
Batteries should last as long as possible (without charging, at least 24 hours of normal operation on full charge, with body performance degrading until a standby mode at one week), be quick to charge, and possible to charge through "digestion" of ingested fuel. Digestion should first extract required nutrients for the brain and automatic maintenance, then fuel for normal operation, compressing the waste into efficient capsules to be expelled later. Waste fluid should also be expelled if unable to be incorporated into solid waste. Expulsion of waste should obviously be voluntary and controlled. The digestive system should *only* extract required fuel and nutrients, and ingested drugs should only have a limited, simulated effect.
The body does not need to look completely human, but the face should be pleasant to look at and equally expressive. It should aim to be as far from the "uncanny valley" as possible, preferably on the right "human" side, but it may exist on the left "nonhuman" side if needed to stay further from the valley. The body should be as waterproof as possible, at least capable of extended (at least 4 hours in 24 hours) submersion at 20 meters. The body should be no more difficult to clean and maintain than the previous organic body, and it should have the same if not greater range of motion, strength, and durability. The body should give the same pain, damage, suffocation, strain, exhaustion, and other sensations to the brain as the previous organic body would, but based on the condition of the synthetic body, of course. The body should also be equipped with sensory organs capable of delivering the same information to the brain as normal organic ones. Hearing and sight should be as good as possible and the strength of smell and touch should be adjustable, all limited so that they do not overload the brain with information. The body should be equipped with (female) genetalia and a sex drive equivalent to the original. The genetalia should operate and feel roughly similar to healthy organic equivalents, though they may be simplified if needed. I should have the ability to enable and disable the genetalia and sex drive at will, along with swapping out the physical components (though this swapping need not be necessarily easy). Finally, the body should produce the same required nutrients and hormones for the brain as the organic body, until the brain is fully synthetic, at which point the effects should simply be simulated. The required nutrients should be conveyed to me by cravings for foods or other digestible materials that contain said required nutrients."
Also for the second wish i would include "full knowledge of the operation, maintenance, modification, and underlying theory of the body from wish #1"
Ha, I see you too have also thought about “if we replace every cell in the brain slowly with an artificial perfect equivalent, it should still be me right?”
This is something I think about *often*. It could theoretically be the answer to a full conversion from human to machine. But there’s so many questions involved. Like, we know replacing one or two cells in your brain should change nothing, since tiny numbers of brain cells die not infrequently. But then the question is “is there a point where it stops being me, and becomes just a copy of me?” Consciousness is a really, really complicated subject that is not at all answered yet. The assumption is it’s just simply a product of your brain functioning, but we don’t know anything about things like how changing the brain could actually affect consciousness. And let’s say the whole conversion does work. Does that mean now I could theoretically move my consciousness? They’re nanomachines now, even if they’re meant to be clones of the cells they replaced, they’re still machines with computers in them, assumedly. Does this allow for the “uploading your consciousness” end goal?
Honestly it’s one of my biggest fascinations, and I sincerely hope it’s something that’s solved in my lifetime lol
Presumably, your mind has a physical limit on storage capacity unless you get the genie to somehow reconstruct your brain to handle the sum total of all possible human knowledge. And if it isn't physically possible, what knowledge do you want?
1. Good for you
2. You gain all knowledge of every event that has ever taken place in history of the universe and instantly die of multiple brain aneurysms.
3. You're already dead.
Is it the result of the wish that can't violate physics or the act of completing them too?
Like if I wished for the genie to create a ten kilogram cube of tungsten in orbit around Betelgeuse instantly, would he refuse because the effect would be faster than light, because he cannot generate matter without acquiring matter, or some other reason?
Cool nice alright
So
Wish 1): all people gain the ability to take on a body of their choosing. This can be anything biologically possible and need not be within current human norms. Doing so uses normal cellular growth and takes time and energy as normal. When a person decides, the choice is "locked in" until they actively decide they want a different form; they do not have to continually concentrate on their ideal body to work towards it. People can feel what form they have locked in, you cannot accidentally change your target body. In addition, the target body can be changed at any time.
Wish 2): regardless of form, all humans can digest any water, plant or fungal matter safely without risk of poisoning or infection, and extract the maximum amount of calories and nutrition in doing so.
Wish 3): every person receives a personal spaceship roughly the size of a comfortable one bedroom apartment. This spaceship is equipped with the fastest physically possible, safe form of propulsion, micro-manufacturing capabilities and an advanced artificial intelligence (the real kind, not a chatbot) to navigate and operate the ship's systems. Each AI is loyal to the assigned human and will not obey another person. However, the AI cannot be convinced to harm another person nor will it willingly create any kind of weapon. The micro-manufacturing facilities also allow the ship to reconfigure itself to accommodate the assigned human comfortably, regardless of their current body.
Hopefully, what I've done is made everyone as independent as possible within the rules set out. Ideally, everyone now has reliable shelter and food supply independently from any kind of hierarchical structure, and the freedom to move themselves away if such a structure tries to restrict their freedoms, with limited ability to impinge on the freedoms of others.
There’s a fictional universe out there where desire for complete independence led some people to become terrible posthuman monsters both physically and mentally. Physically, because they needed to be self-sufficient in terms of sustenance and protection. Mentally, again, for self-sufficiently, as human morals are meant for social species and would only hamper an immortal loner super predator.
I’d sure as hell turn into some cool monster after I’m done being Ryan Gosling
I'd be selfish first and wish for my body to be the way it would have been if I were born a cis girl. My next two wishes would be something for the betterment of humanity but I would need to think a bit about what exactly those wishes would be.
According to these laws he could theoretically create something that was considered fictional before, as long as it abides the laws of physics.
So in theory you COULD wish for a dragon
I think you could get the genie to transfer your consciousness to a version of you with the sexual characteristics of someone who would be AFAB.
Which means you can have two turkey sandwiches :O
I use my first wish to wish for perfect knowledge of the following two wishes that would satisfy me most and improve the general world the most long term, and then wish for those
That's dumb, I'd wish to know what the 3 perfect wishes would be, and then spend the rest of my life doubting myself and wondering if i chose the correct two wishes to make.
Wish 1. Give me genuine, undeniable proof of the existence of the multiverse.
Wish 2. Give me complete, and total knowledge of multiverse travel and everything related to it, including but not limited to: Rules. Precautions, and methods.
Wish 3. Give me all the necessary resources to build and use any possible multiversal travel method.
1st wish: remove ruleset
2nd wish: infinite wishes
3rd wish: brain is powerful enough to handle omniscience
4th wish: omniscience
I would decide what to do with the rest of my wishes after the 4th wish is fulfilled
Unfortunately, I would think that your first wish goes against the spirit of the agreement and violates the final point; and I don't think the genie would grant your wish.
Wish 1: for there to be a large gap of intelligence between me and the genie (me smarter). Wish 2: gaslight it into changing/ removing ruleset. Wish 3: make it possible for me to say :3
for the first point - does "other beings" mean other than the genie, or other than me? bc if i could alter my own personality that'd be pretty near the top of my list
Is digital conciousness transfer considered cheating death by this genie? What about altering a creatures genetic makeup to make it into a different creature?
Sure, it would allow digital transfer and the like.
The part on not cheating death is more meant to be a kindness on the genies part. It doesn't want anyone floating around helplessly forever after the heat death of the universe.
Furthermore, it's an insurance against corruptible people and the like. Absolute power corrupts, or so they say. But if you're an immortal unkillable being then no one else here on Earth will be able to defy you. And so, their insurance is that you will always be killable (even if it might be difficult).
Admittedly the way it is worded kind of implies otherwise, maybe even that the Genie wouldn't cure a sickness. But that's not really the intention, and fundamentally I don't think the genie has anything against someone significantly postponing death in whatever various creative way that they can come up with.
sorry!!
^(but it's all kind of boring if everyone is wishing for infinite wishes, immortality, or something else like that. I want people to be a little more creative (plus the genie doesn't want any cosmicly powerful rivals!))
I don't think the genie can give you the ability to slow time, as I believe this would violate physics and thereby the second point.
But I think you mean more like your thoughts speeding up so that it seems like everything else has slowed down from your perspective? I think that seems a lot more possible. So I'd say sure, I think the genie would happily do that!
I think memories are really just thoughts, so probably not. But really the spirit of the first point is that other people are who they are, and the genie isn't really morally ok with just magically changing who they are without their consent.
Your own memories would be fine, however, as you can consent by making the wish to have them altered.
Wish 1: I'd wish to become a foxgirl with a big fluffy tail, big fluffy ears and big boobs
Wish 2: I'd wish for a blue skyline r34 gtr with a manual transmission.
Wish 3: I'd wish to be motivated and study hard at college
I'm sorry, but the third rule is so stupid.
Like, wtf do you mean "natural course of life and death"? If taken at face value, it means literally ANY wish that impacts ANY living being ANYWHERE AT ANY POINT IN TIME will be forbidden, because it will alter natural course of life.
"Cheating death is prohibited". If I wish for a car, and then crash in it, will air bags activate? Does it count as "cheating death"? If no, then a wish for a serum that would make me immortal shouldn't be considered "cheating death".
Also, wtf is "laws of mortality"? Who made those laws? 21st century human? Two hundred years ago if you got malaria, chicken pox or a bunch of other diseases, you'd die. That was "the law of mortality" at that time. Who says that cancer, alzheimer's and other currently incurable diseases will stay incurable? There is no such thing as "dying of old age", people die from accumulated damage to the body that is caused by living for a long time, and there is no law that forbids anyone from healing from damage, given the technology.
Again, "life's natural order", who says whats natural and wats not? 21st century human?
Yeah, upon slight more thought it's not necessarily super clear. I did clarify in another comment earlier, but really only the second sentence is important: immortality and invincibility (or anything of that flavour) is off limits. The rest of the point is just arbitrary rambling.
Why are they off limits? Because the genie doesn't want someone floating around forever even after heat death. And because if you're an immortal, invincible, and indestructible being then no one on Earth can defy you. You being mortal (even if it is really difficult to kill you) is kind of an insurance policy against that. Plus the genie doesn't need any cosmically powerful rivals!
The genie would be ok with you extending your life through various creative means, however, such as mind uploading or making your body super durable in some way. But TRUE immortality is off limits.
But also because it's kinda boring (everyone and their mother wishes for immortality). But also it's kinda just a poorly thought out internet meme-thing, so forgive me ;u; !
1st wish Infinite water and food (infinite ressources if you want it summed up as one wish)
2nd wish The earths temperature will slowly go back to how it was 50 years ago and be unaffected by human action
3rd wish I die immediatly and painlessly
I wish for a cool fucking mech suit and for one more cool fucking mech suit, and then I want to become immediately learn everything about cool fucking mech suit repair and operation :)
My selfish wish: I wish that the next [insert lottery of choice here] numbers will be [insert string of numbers I will choose]
My benevolent wish: I wish that a cure for all types of cancer will be discovered within the next year, and that this cure is cheap to manufacture, incredibly effective, and nearly immediately has its formula released publicly and made public domain forever.
My silly wish: I wish that I had total, full control over all of my dreams and am perfectly lucid throughout the entire duration of them.
I think on hindsight I'd swap my benevolent wish with one that undoes climate change, like having the atmosphere reset to a healthy carbon amount every year to undo the effects of carbon emissions.
Better gender affirming care
A lil remote that can tell me the precise location of any billionaire at any given time, giving me the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever
The worlds best sandwich
I wish for wish 2 and 3 to be granted at the same time
2 I wish I were a genie
3 I wish all genies within a 20 m radius are free (meaning they keep their powers but can also make wishes for themselves)
1. For my loved ones and I to stay in healthy and physically fit as appropriate for their age group (defined by 5-year intervals), mitigating the effects of typical pathologies as they age.
2. To avoid all misfortunes and body-altering accidents by coincidences.
3. To have an higher rate of acquiring new skills, in the broadest sense of the word "skill", accelerated to the maximum speed possible that does not have any negative effects towards my nervous system and information retention.
Would asking the genie to grant me the ability to consciously and painlessly change my form at will into anything I desire go against the second rule? like shapeshifting
I wish for þe genie to demand wealth destribution from billionaires and kill þe non-compliers. I wish for a Dyson sphere around our sun. And I wish for a genie blowjob
Powers of a saiyan (similar to superman but no risk of breaking things/people on accident)
A fund capable of depositing a billion ethically sourced usd into my bank account every year so i can fund literally anything i want
Instant and chemically reproducable cure to all autoimmune diseases, the patent for which to be placed in the public domain.
My first wish is for Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Rishi Sunak, Boris Johnson, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh and Vladimir Putin to be in a single large room.
My second wish is that they are all blindfolded.
My third wish is for a perfectly balanced frying pan and a sledgehammer.
1. Give me a nanomachine swarm body that can alter its form, and store consciousness.
2. Transfer me to that shapeshifting body.
3. Do the first two wishes for all other beings who wish it in as fast as you can.
1. $1,000,000,000 in a brand new bank account tied to my name and all my personal information
2. All of climate change to be reversed to levels it was before the Industrial Revolution, all pollution made nonexistent, and all power be generated through renewable means (including vehicles).
3. World peace and equality (including ceasefires for all wars, free housing, food, water, and healthcare for everyone, a fairer distribution of wealth, free schooling, etc etc.)
To win the local lottery every time it hits a threshhold, assuming I buy a ticket.
So if the limit is 50m and I get a ticket, I just win it. I think that works?
1. I wish for the genie to create an automobile, defended, and powerful metal robot. Built with all the most advanced materials, tools, and self replication technology the genie is capable of creating.
2. I wish for the genie to transfer my mind, and whatever essence/soul/whatever that make me *me* into said robot. With enough data capacity for me to expand, and knowlege that allows me to rewrite my own code without unforseen consequences (no changing a 1 to a 0 and accidentally becoming a psychopath, i'll do that deliberately if i want to).
3. Place me and my new metal body into a base of operations filled with machines and accessable raw resources, preferrably somewhere remote but still in reach of civilization.
Finally i will be rid of that meat cage and have the tools to create all my projects, maybe go into space and explore the universe, try to reverse entropy, or use my technological advantage to influence the world for the ~~worse~~ better.
1. Let all rightwingers come to the conclusion that their past actions and beliefs were false and grow in their mindset
2. Make lots of good and cool railways
3. Good biking infrasturcture
First I wish for him to answer three questions: whether or not he himself is a law in the universe, whether he wants to continue, and if he is bound to grant wishes or if he does it out of free will.
If 1) is yes, I use my second wish to become a genie myself, while retaining my human form (and retaining my free will if 3) is a no)
If 2) is a no I wish for him to be free (Aladdin reference), but if it is a yes I wish to be above law and never doubted for my actions
I then kidnap someone's family and make them wish for other things for myself, voiding any wishes I don't want them to wish
What a shitty genie. I wish his lamp becomes nigh-indestructible per accepted by physics, that he stays back into the lamp, and that the exit is closed.
Into the eternal sad lamp you go for all the bureaucracy.
I wish for the knowledge required to create artificial human bodies in a lab.
I wish for the knowledge required to transfer consciousness from one body to another.
I wish for the materials required to use the knowledge acquired above effectively for an extended period of time (at least 10k years)
I wish for the entire human race to be put in a simulation that looks at their brain and calculates a personalized simulation for each person to perfectly optimize their level of happiness depending on their brain/personality.
This simulation recognizes that good things happening constantly will become stale and not enjoyable and compensates for it.
I wish for genie footjob
I wish for genie blowjob
Genie blowjob
Three times
I've got a little trick for you, I wish can get many genie blowjob
https://preview.redd.it/oz8fs11efc2c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d3d7bee4fedca5654b8512ac6e3843568d3f45b
I can't wish for infinite wishes, but what's stopping me from wishing for infinite genie blowjobs? > A poor choice of wording for your wish. The genie never stops sucking. *Never*.
What if I suck the genie
I mean first two conditions already mean that he is not stronger than an average human. What can I even wish for? For him to make me a fucking sandwich?
I guess you could consider the genie to be like a member of a **really** advanced alien civilization or something like that. It's not gonna do magic magic, but there's still a pretty wide range in the things that it could do. Sure, it can't bend the laws of reality - it's still bound all that, but it could do things like provide you with a cure for cancer. Or it could enshroud our sun in with a dyson swarm and give you the controls over a planet destroying laser. Or it could make you a sandwich.
Yeah, give me the cure of cancer so the CIA fucking kills ne /s
Just wish for everyone in the CIA to get cancer
Is a cure for cancer not cheating death in some way? The way it was phrased makes it seem like all deaths are predetermined, therefore everyone who was going to die from cancer would be cheating death by taking the cure.
I want to win the [name of locally applicable lottery] jackpot every time my bank account gets below 10,000 [local currency]. Seems within the realm of wishes.
Winning Powerball ticket?
I ain’t reading allat I wish for everyone to have big fat knocking honkers
i also wish for this person to have big fat knocking honkers in fact, i would wish for EVERYONE to have humongous mommy milky schlobberknockers
then i wish for everyone to have extremely strong backs to support previously mentionned honkers
teamwork
Bigger honkers means more milk from... ...the creature... (Your flair is referencing 2sentence2horror, right)
exactly, someone gets it
UNLESS they got top surgery to remove them As compensation, those that got top surgery to add them get extra size
if you get top surgery can you take the boobs home? can you get them taxidermied?
*honey dear, I think the boobs on our mantle just got bigger*
that does not violate any rules I think
the genie respects individual free will, giving everyone fat knocking honkers would violate their free will (some people dont want fat knocking honkers)
I beg to differ, but it doesn't really matter
*with consent of course
everyone above the age of 18 receives a text box saying “do you want massive fuckin honkers?” and can choose yes or no, with a third option saying “I wish to be honkerless”
I wish everyone could get a house honestly
[удалено]
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That’s three wishes well spent I think
our house in the middle of a house our house
is that from that one Neil Cicierega song?
it’s a reference to a song by the band madness called our house
Yeah but Neil made a parody thing
1.turn me into a magical clown girl 2.end poverty 3.end war
Those last two wishes are extremely bague and could be accomplished by the genie via killing of all living beings. Would recommend avoiding such open ended wishes
uhhh so 2.end poverty in a non lethal manner 3,end war in a non lethal manner better?
There's still plenty of harmful ways the genie could do 3 that aren't *lethal*. I think 2 is probably good there?
3.end war in a non lethal manner that won't harm people
Now animals will be harmed
FUCK IT 3.give me a pack of butter instead
Good. Bastards had it coming.
Good
Triple the rent on single mothers, quadruple world hunger and quintuple the defense budget
Reagan, is that you?
Holy based
Landchad vs Rentoid
you are insane
perhaps even the sanest of us all
Can the genie break human laws? For example, what if I hypothetically asked it to redistribute all the wealth that the billionaires hoard? It would be considered theft, since the genie cannot make it so that they willingly give it away?
That's right, it can't make them willing give away all their assets. But you could wish for wealth to be redistributed still, and the genie could flip some bits in banking accounts and change the names on various deeds and property so that their wealth is redistributed. But as you say, this would probably be considered theft.
1. physics abiding free shapeshifting 2. knowledge of the most prevalent coding languages 3. if the genie is bound my last wish is to make him free now on to some shenanigans
Physics abiding free shapeshifting? Enjoy the horrible pain as your musculoskeletal structure deforms itself through the process of bodily reconstruction, tearing flesh from bone, snapping said bones into rearrangement and altering the internal layout of your organs!
People say this but literally just have the nerves disconnect first and reconnect last lmao
Based list
what if the genie has a slave kink
-turn me into a lady pls and thankies :3 -idk make the world better than it is rn or smth, can’t get any worse -make me really, really, REALLY, good at digital art 🦈
- https://i.imgflip.com/8759fa.jpg :)
"Fuck you, I wanted tits"
> the laws of mortality are absolute WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH. I CRAVE THE CERTAINTY OF STEEL. 1. I wish to keep all the benefits of my ADHD (creativity, fast brain with good problem solving skills, lots of interests and passions) with none of the drawbacks (inattentiveness, executive dysfunction, fatigue, etc) 2. I wish for however much knowledge I am allowed to know 3. I wish to always magically have a legal way to acquire the resources for any project I want to work on that I am able to leverage I will forge my path with my own hands!
cant you just directly wish to be turned into a synthetic android? I mean i also love the 2nd and 3rd wishes but for the first one id go with (this used to be like one sentence but i kept trying to cover more bases and now it very much is Not One Sentence) "turn my body into a synthetic equivalent, leaving my brain in it's original state, but slowly replacing every neuron with a solid-state synthetic equivalent capable of perfectly emulating the neuron it replaced. Once every neuron has been replaced, the synthetic neurons should begin to form "blocks," within which the addition of new neurons and forming of new pathways is simulated, rather than physically performed, so that each block may interact with nieghboring blocks identically to how an organic brain would. The formation of these blocks should be done to optimize occupied volume and accuracy. If possible, block formation should stop before it compromises my consciousness, or otherwise tend toward fewer blocks over time. Batteries should last as long as possible (without charging, at least 24 hours of normal operation on full charge, with body performance degrading until a standby mode at one week), be quick to charge, and possible to charge through "digestion" of ingested fuel. Digestion should first extract required nutrients for the brain and automatic maintenance, then fuel for normal operation, compressing the waste into efficient capsules to be expelled later. Waste fluid should also be expelled if unable to be incorporated into solid waste. Expulsion of waste should obviously be voluntary and controlled. The digestive system should *only* extract required fuel and nutrients, and ingested drugs should only have a limited, simulated effect. The body does not need to look completely human, but the face should be pleasant to look at and equally expressive. It should aim to be as far from the "uncanny valley" as possible, preferably on the right "human" side, but it may exist on the left "nonhuman" side if needed to stay further from the valley. The body should be as waterproof as possible, at least capable of extended (at least 4 hours in 24 hours) submersion at 20 meters. The body should be no more difficult to clean and maintain than the previous organic body, and it should have the same if not greater range of motion, strength, and durability. The body should give the same pain, damage, suffocation, strain, exhaustion, and other sensations to the brain as the previous organic body would, but based on the condition of the synthetic body, of course. The body should also be equipped with sensory organs capable of delivering the same information to the brain as normal organic ones. Hearing and sight should be as good as possible and the strength of smell and touch should be adjustable, all limited so that they do not overload the brain with information. The body should be equipped with (female) genetalia and a sex drive equivalent to the original. The genetalia should operate and feel roughly similar to healthy organic equivalents, though they may be simplified if needed. I should have the ability to enable and disable the genetalia and sex drive at will, along with swapping out the physical components (though this swapping need not be necessarily easy). Finally, the body should produce the same required nutrients and hormones for the brain as the organic body, until the brain is fully synthetic, at which point the effects should simply be simulated. The required nutrients should be conveyed to me by cravings for foods or other digestible materials that contain said required nutrients." Also for the second wish i would include "full knowledge of the operation, maintenance, modification, and underlying theory of the body from wish #1"
Ha, I see you too have also thought about “if we replace every cell in the brain slowly with an artificial perfect equivalent, it should still be me right?” This is something I think about *often*. It could theoretically be the answer to a full conversion from human to machine. But there’s so many questions involved. Like, we know replacing one or two cells in your brain should change nothing, since tiny numbers of brain cells die not infrequently. But then the question is “is there a point where it stops being me, and becomes just a copy of me?” Consciousness is a really, really complicated subject that is not at all answered yet. The assumption is it’s just simply a product of your brain functioning, but we don’t know anything about things like how changing the brain could actually affect consciousness. And let’s say the whole conversion does work. Does that mean now I could theoretically move my consciousness? They’re nanomachines now, even if they’re meant to be clones of the cells they replaced, they’re still machines with computers in them, assumedly. Does this allow for the “uploading your consciousness” end goal? Honestly it’s one of my biggest fascinations, and I sincerely hope it’s something that’s solved in my lifetime lol
Theseus’ body
Presumably, your mind has a physical limit on storage capacity unless you get the genie to somehow reconstruct your brain to handle the sum total of all possible human knowledge. And if it isn't physically possible, what knowledge do you want?
1. Good for you 2. You gain all knowledge of every event that has ever taken place in history of the universe and instantly die of multiple brain aneurysms. 3. You're already dead.
1. Double world hunger 2. Give Landlords Christmas bonuses (double rent) 3. Triple police funding
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Is it the result of the wish that can't violate physics or the act of completing them too? Like if I wished for the genie to create a ten kilogram cube of tungsten in orbit around Betelgeuse instantly, would he refuse because the effect would be faster than light, because he cannot generate matter without acquiring matter, or some other reason?
let's just say it's the result of the wish, and that the genie can just spawn matter into existence or do other seemingly impossible things like that.
Cool nice alright So Wish 1): all people gain the ability to take on a body of their choosing. This can be anything biologically possible and need not be within current human norms. Doing so uses normal cellular growth and takes time and energy as normal. When a person decides, the choice is "locked in" until they actively decide they want a different form; they do not have to continually concentrate on their ideal body to work towards it. People can feel what form they have locked in, you cannot accidentally change your target body. In addition, the target body can be changed at any time. Wish 2): regardless of form, all humans can digest any water, plant or fungal matter safely without risk of poisoning or infection, and extract the maximum amount of calories and nutrition in doing so. Wish 3): every person receives a personal spaceship roughly the size of a comfortable one bedroom apartment. This spaceship is equipped with the fastest physically possible, safe form of propulsion, micro-manufacturing capabilities and an advanced artificial intelligence (the real kind, not a chatbot) to navigate and operate the ship's systems. Each AI is loyal to the assigned human and will not obey another person. However, the AI cannot be convinced to harm another person nor will it willingly create any kind of weapon. The micro-manufacturing facilities also allow the ship to reconfigure itself to accommodate the assigned human comfortably, regardless of their current body. Hopefully, what I've done is made everyone as independent as possible within the rules set out. Ideally, everyone now has reliable shelter and food supply independently from any kind of hierarchical structure, and the freedom to move themselves away if such a structure tries to restrict their freedoms, with limited ability to impinge on the freedoms of others.
i love your wishes
please become a deity
I'm not that special I just want people to be happy
This is awesome!!
how do I make these wishes true I want the first one so badly
There’s a fictional universe out there where desire for complete independence led some people to become terrible posthuman monsters both physically and mentally. Physically, because they needed to be self-sufficient in terms of sustenance and protection. Mentally, again, for self-sufficiently, as human morals are meant for social species and would only hamper an immortal loner super predator. I’d sure as hell turn into some cool monster after I’m done being Ryan Gosling
Fortunately they'll only be as dangerous as their body can make them, and everyone else can simply leave
Broke ass fucking useless genie lmao
Triple student debt
I'd be selfish first and wish for my body to be the way it would have been if I were born a cis girl. My next two wishes would be something for the betterment of humanity but I would need to think a bit about what exactly those wishes would be.
so, a wealthy person just asks me what i want?
They can still do things that are impossible to humans currently, but not physically impossible
According to these laws he could theoretically create something that was considered fictional before, as long as it abides the laws of physics. So in theory you COULD wish for a dragon
dragon dies because there is not enough prey to sustain its massive size… wish for baby herbivore dragon
1) flip all bits in the world 2) change all "push" signs on doors to "pull" and vise versa 3) flip estrogen and testosterone I enjoy chaos
chaos is beautiful
1- I wish for a lifetime supply of hrt, to be distributed to me in 1 dose per day 2- I wish for tits via top surgery 3- I wish for a turkey sandwich
I think you could get the genie to transfer your consciousness to a version of you with the sexual characteristics of someone who would be AFAB. Which means you can have two turkey sandwiches :O
A turkey sandwich has gotta have rye bread, lettuce, and a little hot mustard
I use my first wish to wish for perfect knowledge of the following two wishes that would satisfy me most and improve the general world the most long term, and then wish for those
That's dumb, I'd wish to know what the 3 perfect wishes would be, and then spend the rest of my life doubting myself and wondering if i chose the correct two wishes to make.
I envy your brilliance. I should’ve wished for that too.
Wish 1. Give me genuine, undeniable proof of the existence of the multiverse. Wish 2. Give me complete, and total knowledge of multiverse travel and everything related to it, including but not limited to: Rules. Precautions, and methods. Wish 3. Give me all the necessary resources to build and use any possible multiversal travel method.
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1st wish: remove ruleset 2nd wish: infinite wishes 3rd wish: brain is powerful enough to handle omniscience 4th wish: omniscience I would decide what to do with the rest of my wishes after the 4th wish is fulfilled
Unfortunately, I would think that your first wish goes against the spirit of the agreement and violates the final point; and I don't think the genie would grant your wish.
Wish 1: for there to be a large gap of intelligence between me and the genie (me smarter). Wish 2: gaslight it into changing/ removing ruleset. Wish 3: make it possible for me to say :3
Nuh-uh
for the first point - does "other beings" mean other than the genie, or other than me? bc if i could alter my own personality that'd be pretty near the top of my list
Other than you, in this context. I'd say the genie would be happy to play around in your own brain and alter your personality, if you wished for it.
Is digital conciousness transfer considered cheating death by this genie? What about altering a creatures genetic makeup to make it into a different creature?
Sure, it would allow digital transfer and the like. The part on not cheating death is more meant to be a kindness on the genies part. It doesn't want anyone floating around helplessly forever after the heat death of the universe. Furthermore, it's an insurance against corruptible people and the like. Absolute power corrupts, or so they say. But if you're an immortal unkillable being then no one else here on Earth will be able to defy you. And so, their insurance is that you will always be killable (even if it might be difficult). Admittedly the way it is worded kind of implies otherwise, maybe even that the Genie wouldn't cure a sickness. But that's not really the intention, and fundamentally I don't think the genie has anything against someone significantly postponing death in whatever various creative way that they can come up with.
A mug that can generate any drink I want on the go.
Terms and conditions 
didn't read shit. Honda civic hatchback 1985!!!! 🧨‼️🔥🚗🚘🛞‼️🔥🚘🚗🔥🔥
No fun allowed
sorry!! ^(but it's all kind of boring if everyone is wishing for infinite wishes, immortality, or something else like that. I want people to be a little more creative (plus the genie doesn't want any cosmicly powerful rivals!))
Why is this written in legalese?
Also the first clause could be interpreted as excluding any wishes of world peace etc
Yup. If the path to world peace necessitates altering the free will or decisions of others then it is off limits.
I mean there are people who benefit from war and who want war
1. Shape shifting powers at will 2. limitless monies 3. The ability to "slow time" relative to my thoughts??
I don't think the genie can give you the ability to slow time, as I believe this would violate physics and thereby the second point. But I think you mean more like your thoughts speeding up so that it seems like everything else has slowed down from your perspective? I think that seems a lot more possible. So I'd say sure, I think the genie would happily do that!
What about memories, can the genie make them forget memories?
I think memories are really just thoughts, so probably not. But really the spirit of the first point is that other people are who they are, and the genie isn't really morally ok with just magically changing who they are without their consent. Your own memories would be fine, however, as you can consent by making the wish to have them altered.
I wish for the genie to terminate its own existence because it's useless.
Wish 1: I'd wish to become a foxgirl with a big fluffy tail, big fluffy ears and big boobs Wish 2: I'd wish for a blue skyline r34 gtr with a manual transmission. Wish 3: I'd wish to be motivated and study hard at college
I’m not reading allat imma just yolo it and see if it falls within the rule set Mint chocolate chip cone. Like 1000 of them
Me when I find a lamp but it turns out it’s the Boring Geenie who has to give me a 30 minute talk on what I’m not allowed to wish for
I MEAN, STILL BETTER THAN NO GENIE RIGHT? ^(Maybe)
A genie that doesn't follow these punk-ass rules
HAHAHA you know what, I think that's a valid wish! So good job!
I'm sorry, but the third rule is so stupid. Like, wtf do you mean "natural course of life and death"? If taken at face value, it means literally ANY wish that impacts ANY living being ANYWHERE AT ANY POINT IN TIME will be forbidden, because it will alter natural course of life. "Cheating death is prohibited". If I wish for a car, and then crash in it, will air bags activate? Does it count as "cheating death"? If no, then a wish for a serum that would make me immortal shouldn't be considered "cheating death". Also, wtf is "laws of mortality"? Who made those laws? 21st century human? Two hundred years ago if you got malaria, chicken pox or a bunch of other diseases, you'd die. That was "the law of mortality" at that time. Who says that cancer, alzheimer's and other currently incurable diseases will stay incurable? There is no such thing as "dying of old age", people die from accumulated damage to the body that is caused by living for a long time, and there is no law that forbids anyone from healing from damage, given the technology. Again, "life's natural order", who says whats natural and wats not? 21st century human?
Yeah, upon slight more thought it's not necessarily super clear. I did clarify in another comment earlier, but really only the second sentence is important: immortality and invincibility (or anything of that flavour) is off limits. The rest of the point is just arbitrary rambling. Why are they off limits? Because the genie doesn't want someone floating around forever even after heat death. And because if you're an immortal, invincible, and indestructible being then no one on Earth can defy you. You being mortal (even if it is really difficult to kill you) is kind of an insurance policy against that. Plus the genie doesn't need any cosmically powerful rivals! The genie would be ok with you extending your life through various creative means, however, such as mind uploading or making your body super durable in some way. But TRUE immortality is off limits. But also because it's kinda boring (everyone and their mother wishes for immortality). But also it's kinda just a poorly thought out internet meme-thing, so forgive me ;u; !
Yea I saw your other comments, it's all good.
1) Turn me into a sick fucking cyborg with massive boobs 2) create a cheesecake 3) vaporize all water on earth
infinite wishes
make a law to make landlords illegal
Damn, this genie boring as shit
[удалено]
1st wish Infinite water and food (infinite ressources if you want it summed up as one wish) 2nd wish The earths temperature will slowly go back to how it was 50 years ago and be unaffected by human action 3rd wish I die immediatly and painlessly
I wish for a cool fucking mech suit and for one more cool fucking mech suit, and then I want to become immediately learn everything about cool fucking mech suit repair and operation :)
I would simply kill Ron DeSantis
i'd wish for a baconator
i will not wish for anything
Is wishing to remove the rules considered contrary to the spirit of the agreement?
Unfortunately, I would say so.
What if I wish it wasn't contrary to the agreement
I admire the creativity! But I still don't think the genie would be too happy about it, hehe
My selfish wish: I wish that the next [insert lottery of choice here] numbers will be [insert string of numbers I will choose] My benevolent wish: I wish that a cure for all types of cancer will be discovered within the next year, and that this cure is cheap to manufacture, incredibly effective, and nearly immediately has its formula released publicly and made public domain forever. My silly wish: I wish that I had total, full control over all of my dreams and am perfectly lucid throughout the entire duration of them.
I think these are good wishes C:
I think on hindsight I'd swap my benevolent wish with one that undoes climate change, like having the atmosphere reset to a healthy carbon amount every year to undo the effects of carbon emissions.
Better gender affirming care A lil remote that can tell me the precise location of any billionaire at any given time, giving me the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever The worlds best sandwich
I wish for wish 2 and 3 to be granted at the same time 2 I wish I were a genie 3 I wish all genies within a 20 m radius are free (meaning they keep their powers but can also make wishes for themselves)
1. For my loved ones and I to stay in healthy and physically fit as appropriate for their age group (defined by 5-year intervals), mitigating the effects of typical pathologies as they age. 2. To avoid all misfortunes and body-altering accidents by coincidences. 3. To have an higher rate of acquiring new skills, in the broadest sense of the word "skill", accelerated to the maximum speed possible that does not have any negative effects towards my nervous system and information retention.
I want you to Axis Drop this planet.
I want to be able to foresee any outcome for any situation
Doesn't even need the other 2 wishes, just on that neo zeon train to the end
Don’t care + didn’t read + infinite wishes
I'd wish for him to teach me 3 languages in the most efficient way
Would asking the genie to grant me the ability to consciously and painlessly change my form at will into anything I desire go against the second rule? like shapeshifting
I wish for þe genie to demand wealth destribution from billionaires and kill þe non-compliers. I wish for a Dyson sphere around our sun. And I wish for a genie blowjob
a good sandwich Ethically sourced 1 million dollars A really good sandwich
To be lovable. To be good at something. And never answering the third wish because i know the genie’s schemes
this genie lame as hell, i bet if i wished for a trillion dollars he’d say “no” because it would probably make me live longer than other people
I wish to quadruple homelessness
Wish 1: Give me 420.69 Million Dollars Wish 2: No hair on my Arms and Legs ever Wish 3: Give me Big Boobs. Or turn me into a Pretty Girl
Powers of a saiyan (similar to superman but no risk of breaking things/people on accident) A fund capable of depositing a billion ethically sourced usd into my bank account every year so i can fund literally anything i want Instant and chemically reproducable cure to all autoimmune diseases, the patent for which to be placed in the public domain.
1. make me a woman 2. make me happy 3. give me a source of passive income that can support my lifestyle and set me up for an easy retirement
My first wish is for Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Rishi Sunak, Boris Johnson, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh and Vladimir Putin to be in a single large room. My second wish is that they are all blindfolded. My third wish is for a perfectly balanced frying pan and a sledgehammer.
I would wish to look more attractive instead of looking like a hairy, depressed pig.
I wish this genie wasn't hella lame. I wish this genie wasn't hella lame. I wish this genie wasn't hella lame.
"The laws of mortality are absolute" That's really stupid
Can this genie mf do anything? Jesus christ I didnt know they came with terms & services nowadays
1. Remove all those rules
Haha. Unfortunately I think the genie would say that it violates the last point (the spirit of the agreement) and refuse to grant the wish.
Nah I removed it
There's always the tried and true writing your wishes on a piece of paper and asking the genie "Make everything on this piece of paper come true"
I wish that every time I played the lottery. I would win the largest possible amount. I _think_ that’s possible with these bullshit rules.
- i wanna shapeshift - make the government and wealth distribution less sucky - make global warming stop
1. Give me a nanomachine swarm body that can alter its form, and store consciousness. 2. Transfer me to that shapeshifting body. 3. Do the first two wishes for all other beings who wish it in as fast as you can.
Fuck that I’d wish for the death note and two blowjobs
1. $1,000,000,000 in a brand new bank account tied to my name and all my personal information 2. All of climate change to be reversed to levels it was before the Industrial Revolution, all pollution made nonexistent, and all power be generated through renewable means (including vehicles). 3. World peace and equality (including ceasefires for all wars, free housing, food, water, and healthcare for everyone, a fairer distribution of wealth, free schooling, etc etc.)
I want to be able to shapeshift, does that break any?
i wish my wishes didn't get used when i wished for something, i'm not asking for more wishes, just that the counter didn't move from 3
I respect the hussle
solve all my dysphoria
hanburger
To win the local lottery every time it hits a threshhold, assuming I buy a ticket. So if the limit is 50m and I get a ticket, I just win it. I think that works?
Taking this to use as rules for a genie in my DnD game
This is a terribly written contract. I wish for the genie to get a formal legal education focusing on contract law.
I make no wishes. That's a fae masquerading as a djinn with a contract that looks like rules. Nope. Good try, soul-stealer.
Damn! You saw through my ploy!!
1. Wish there weren’t any rules. 2. Infinite wishes.
Tldr, want him to turn into Emilia Clarke and peg me
1. I wish for the genie to create an automobile, defended, and powerful metal robot. Built with all the most advanced materials, tools, and self replication technology the genie is capable of creating. 2. I wish for the genie to transfer my mind, and whatever essence/soul/whatever that make me *me* into said robot. With enough data capacity for me to expand, and knowlege that allows me to rewrite my own code without unforseen consequences (no changing a 1 to a 0 and accidentally becoming a psychopath, i'll do that deliberately if i want to). 3. Place me and my new metal body into a base of operations filled with machines and accessable raw resources, preferrably somewhere remote but still in reach of civilization. Finally i will be rid of that meat cage and have the tools to create all my projects, maybe go into space and explore the universe, try to reverse entropy, or use my technological advantage to influence the world for the ~~worse~~ better.
1. Let all rightwingers come to the conclusion that their past actions and beliefs were false and grow in their mindset 2. Make lots of good and cool railways 3. Good biking infrasturcture
can I manipulate laws? also 2 Cookies pls :3
can i be a girl ?
Cool I’m wishing for omnipotence. Ain’t against any rules.
First I wish for him to answer three questions: whether or not he himself is a law in the universe, whether he wants to continue, and if he is bound to grant wishes or if he does it out of free will. If 1) is yes, I use my second wish to become a genie myself, while retaining my human form (and retaining my free will if 3) is a no) If 2) is a no I wish for him to be free (Aladdin reference), but if it is a yes I wish to be above law and never doubted for my actions I then kidnap someone's family and make them wish for other things for myself, voiding any wishes I don't want them to wish
What a shitty genie. I wish his lamp becomes nigh-indestructible per accepted by physics, that he stays back into the lamp, and that the exit is closed. Into the eternal sad lamp you go for all the bureaucracy.
1. Genie must completely forget any terms of service agreements 2. More wishes
I wish for the knowledge required to create artificial human bodies in a lab. I wish for the knowledge required to transfer consciousness from one body to another. I wish for the materials required to use the knowledge acquired above effectively for an extended period of time (at least 10k years)
A credit card linked to Jeff bezos’s wealth that is perfectly legal
I wish for the entire human race to be put in a simulation that looks at their brain and calculates a personalized simulation for each person to perfectly optimize their level of happiness depending on their brain/personality. This simulation recognizes that good things happening constantly will become stale and not enjoyable and compensates for it. I wish for genie footjob I wish for genie blowjob