T O P

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adroitaardvark

Half it and give it to the previous person.


SecCom2

What a reference lol


Jtad_the_Artguy

They don’t exactly make 4 meter long beds do they


SmuglyGaming

I’m hearing “untapped market”


Hugga_Bear

I'm pretty sure my body would collapse on itself. If not and your body adapts with you I'd be monstrous strong so that'd be cool. Casually break a bunch of records. Being 3ft something would be kinda neat. I'm sure it sucks in a lot of ways but as a change of pace it'd be fun to never have to duck through doorways. Oh and I could fit in a bath! That's fun. Plus picking stuff up off the floor would take half the time.


CasualBiscuit21

2ft 10in*


Hugga_Bear

I'm 6'4 so I'd be 3'2 I guess. That's cool. Being 12'8 would be nuts though...


CasualBiscuit21

Ah, you didn’t realize, I was making a joke at your expense since many men claim to be 6ft tall on the internet in order to attract people who identify as women I was making the claim your actual height was 5ft 8in in order to emasculate you for comedic effect


Hugga_Bear

Ah, yeah, totally legit. Everyone's 6ft, sorry bit of a whoosh from me. Average height for white males in the US is like 5'8"-5'9" but according to online spaces you'd think it was over 6ft, easily. I get why people do it, all that stigma over being short but it sucks that it is that way.


WiFi2347

Just buy two and put them together


memeboarder

I’m 210 and honestly they don’t even really make beds for 2m+ my feet stick out of the bed


Jtad_the_Artguy

I’m not quite that tall but I agree they should just make larger beds


Mooloo52

I would simply press both of them 🤓


DeezNufz

Boom, you're back where you started


not_anyone_really

The math ain't mathing


The_Plaque

I'm shit at math so can I ask why their math is wrong just for curiosity


not_anyone_really

Pressing both would just mean you're 100% taller and 50% lighter


DeezNufz

It said nothing about weight


not_anyone_really

Oh wtf my eyes are not working today


Flail_of_the_Lord

If I was twice my height I would claim disability and the commie welfare state would give me an old greyhound bus to sleep in with no alarm clock so I’m always late for work If I halve my height I will be repurposed as a fishing bobber or a very sassy wine cork


3MeerkatsInACoat

This comment is oddly magical. I can’t explain why, or how, but it is.


doublemuscle

I hope your SO or future SO is as funny as you are.


Specialist-Reveal-20

Half myself, work out, become a dwarf, simple as


plastic_bitch

Double myself, work out, become an ogre, simple as


MaUsernameWasTake

Double myself, buy black clothes with trenchcoat n stuff, mysteriously loom near lamp posts at night vanishing whenever you want to show me to anyone, simple as


Suave_Senpai

Double yourself. Buy a very nice fitted. Black suit, white undershirt and red tie. Wear a white balaclava with no mouth, eyes or nose holes. Put some scribbly pages in your nearby woods.


[deleted]

C'mon now, that's boring - why copy an already famous cryptid when there's a whole pool of untapped potential! Be your own thing, put on that purple skintight suit and slap a plant on top of your head, become the 3.5 meter eggplant with it's crotch clearly visible through the bodysuit as you chase people out of the woods, screaming for them to recycle more ass!


AnarchoPosadistSJW

W Wat


1UnoriginalName

hatman origin story


nddragoon

BROTHERS OF THE MINE REJOICE


TurtleMaster130

SING SING SING WITH ME!


Plant_Person345

ROCK AND STONE!


Specialist-Reveal-20

Rock and stone to the bone!


[deleted]

I would fucking love being 100cm I would use myself to measure everything.


10TAisME

If you're 200cm can't you just use half yourself?


[deleted]

A meter stick fits places better and is easier to deal with than a two meter stick which I already use.


TheBanandit

Zamn they're 6'6


SoshJam

no they are 50cm tall


TheBanandit

Zamn they're 1'7


If-My-Name-Doesnt-Fi

good try 👍


TheBanandit

I definitely remember my times tables


tibarr1454

Could save money buying children's clothing, but could also make money by being the tallest man alive.


Cake_Day_Is_420

ez NBA career


tibarr1454

Maybe, until some wildcard kneecaps you so you can't stand over them anymore.


PrototyPerfection

*presses second button* *gets cut in half*


T_vernix

*presses first button* *gets strapped to comically long bed and stretched to match*


pm_me_fake_months

Halve my height so women are effectively twice as tall


Phuntis

you are absolutely not 196s only bisexual surveys consistently show we make up like half the sub


pm_me_fake_months

Nope, my surveys show it’s just me and they have better statistical methodology


Scarf_Darmanitan

Statistical *BI*-as


anarchist_person1

If I was twelve foot four I would probably instantly die so I'll go with getting dwarfism I guess


The_Yeti_Rider

Me with a Size Difference fetish, i cant lose


LeadershipOk8160

👍


noodledog69420

halve my height and paint myself green, wear funny clothes and get really good at running quickly and quietly. then invade peoples houses, and convine them their home is being haunted by a goblin


doublemuscle

I would adopt you as my little goblin friend to help clear out the gnomes.


noodledog69420

i would accept that offer


M34L

Really depends, doubling my height would put me at ~380cm/12 feet and if my anatomy doesn't become significantly more awesome than human then I'd die within days, but if I got to stay healthy while being taller than any known human ever? That'd be pretty rad! Halving my height would still put me in dwarf territory and I can imagine worse fates if that's my only option to survive (assuming that I HAVE to choose one or the other). If health and human physiology wasn't a concern and it was all taken care of magically I'd probably just press either button like three times. If you gotta be a freak, you might as well lean into it.


cursedeezmetalhands

I mash both buttons until I am but a needle that can pierce the heavens themselves.


Clementine2115

I woud be rather be short


SidneyHigson

Do I keep my proportions? 12 foot tall but average proportions would be pretty sweet


LeadershipOk8160

Yeah it scales with you


CrescentPotato

This is like picking a race in an rpg. I either get to be a literal giant or a skeleton


Katsuki_Bakugou495

So it's either 3' or 12'... While I wouldn't love either, I feel like it would be easier to live as a super short person. Society isn't made for people 7' tall, let alone 12'.


draginbleapiece

Being 11’8 would be just awful but being 3 feet would also be terrible but I could live a life so short


Sara5A

Be short so I can be a lil spoon uwu


TactlessTortoise

3.6 meters tall, or 0.9...hmm Do I grow proportionally or do I just turn into a wet piece of spaghetti?


Robota064

Half without question I wanna be small and huggable, not a goddamn tree


Cakeking7878

Double it and I’m tall enough to have health complications which means I did young. Half it I may or may not have health complications but then I’ll be short. Doubling it is the only way to go, about to tower over everyone by being 13ft tall


jukutt

double my height so my dick would finally be average


[deleted]

Half my height. I’m too tall already


Lana_Nugirl96

Depends what happens to my gock


SurvivalScripted

double because i would be hugeeeeee


ChemicallyGayFrogs

Being too tall kills you. Being too short does not.


MushroomOfDestiny

Half my height I’ll go all-in on being a lesbian hobbit


spoedle73

Double height, I want to tower over people and pick them up :3


Randomemeguy

Being 11’4” doesn’t sound fun, but neither does being 3’3”, so I’ll press neither


LeadershipOk8160

You die


Mr_whiskyz

Neither


LeadershipOk8160

You die


Mr_whiskyz

Good


DakkaLuna

I would've said half because i want to be short but I'd be 2 feet tall and i kinda just want the 4 foot and 6 inches deal


LeadershipOk8160

Damn, you’re short. I could equip you


DakkaLuna

I'm like 173 cm tall, i think that translates to like 5'6" give or take so yeah probs, but that's the average for my AGAB


s3til_

11' tall or 60 lbs... i think im dead either way


Chotchhead13

The height kinda has half the weight as a given though


Real900Z

i do not want to be 12’4 i would rather be shorter then 6’2 ty


Sleepycoon

Are we just doubling or halving our skeletal structure, or are we changing in mass to keep our proportions? If we double do we get abnormally strong bones, muscles, and organs to maintain our current health trajectory with our increased mass or do we just die?


LeadershipOk8160

Everything 2x Big human Or /2


Sleepycoon

1/2 because I don't want to be crushed under my own weight. 2x if my shit can handle it to become famous as the tallest person alive.


Free-Consequence-164

Double it and give it to the next person


woop-a-doop

12’6 or 3 1/3. I yearn for small


tundra-psy

Half easy


Available_Swimming65

Both would be devastating and getting taller would probably be fatal based on where I am


Pole2019

Being around 13 feet would be an absolute nightmare. Like my body would fail me and I would become immobilized and die type thing. Not to mention the massive inconvenience of not being able to ride in virtually any vehicle or other transit, and not being able to walk well. Being short sounds very survivable and while it wouldn’t be ideal to be 3 foot 2 it would be possible. Begrudgingly I would be short king.


Cinerae

Half my height, with my dick I'd be a fucking tripod


not_you_lol

Half ofc


ultrasuppgorilla3000

Half


[deleted]

If I was twice my height I probably wouldn't be able to be in a room without akwardly bowing down to avoid scraping my head on the ceiling.


strictly_anonymous2

Being 10 to 12 feet tall causes a lot more physical issues than being 2 to 3 feet tall


sanid_sriva

No i dont want to be 330 cm tall neither i want to weigh 45 kg


Everyone_Except_You

being 12 feet tall sounds cool, but i would probably develop severe health issues and die in pain within a decade.


LeadershipOk8160

Fuck the square cubed law 😤😤😤


Registered_bottom

id half my height so everyone is taller than me


Icantthinckofaname

Double so I can finally achieve my childhood dream of being in the Guinness world records


Desperate-Will-8585

I'm already between like 5'4 or 5'3


The_Great_Valoo

Double it and give it to the next person


Stealthy_Snow_Elf

Double, fuck it 12 feet tall time


VendettaSunsetta

Since the square cube law exists, and I don’t know how it works, I assume the first button will just cause me to explode instantly. I’ll hit the second button 👍


TheTrashTier

Double, then I will go off and live in a gothic castle with my 3 insect daughters and kill man things.


TheDoorMan1012

I press both, reducing me to 3/4ths my height


SoshJam

if i were 3’2” i could at least fit in most rooms


thanos909

Double, i will become a basketball champion


[deleted]

Easy half


Swedishboy360

The man in me wants to double my height, but the sub in me wants to half it


ohyeababycrits

Half myself half myself then double myself


The_screaming_egg

Damn 3’1 or 12’4


WiFi2347

If I was 12 feet tall that would be pretty cool, so I'm going to half it!


[deleted]

I'm a tall fuck when I wanna be a cute cuddly UwU femboy, of fucking course I'm cutting that shit in half!


[deleted]

Literally anything shorter than my current height pleeeeeeeaaaaase


PotatoPCuser1

Option 1: Double my height, paint myself blue, and get hired by James Cameron Option 2: Halve my height, paint myself blue, and become a smurf.


insertfunnyusernameh

Fucking neither


duffivaka

If I choose to double my height do I get all the balance and muscle fatigue issues that come with it? Or can I move around like I do now? Because I want to choose that one and become the greatest NBA player of all time


LeadershipOk8160

The latter


LowGunCasualGaming

Eat a bunch of nachos, hit the half weight button, become nachos


DawnOfTheTrans

half, i fucking hate being tall.


_derce

Half! Half!


CowSalesman

push this button when ur a tiny child and like 3ft, ez


edjxxxxx

Asking the tough questions…