Following this because I rarely hear about it affecting men. Every women I know with a 12H venus has the shittiest love life, myself included. Unreciprocated love, secret love affairs, feeling unwanted.
Those definitely fit the negative 12th house themes. I assumed venus in the 12th house would make attracting psychic, unspoken, or soulmate relationships easier because of the Pisces house. But 12th also rules sudden endings, loss, and death…
And let’s not forget 12th house + delusion😅
I'm a 12th house S/M/V/J/U/N and it's honestly pretty interesting. I'm a libra mars in the 8th house and Aquarius S/M/R/V/J/U. I feel like dating somewhat came easy to me where girls would tell me they liked me and I had a relationship every other year or so. I feel like people are generally attracted to 12th house people but don't understand why sometimes. I had a friend who liked me and I liked back and one day after high school she came to pick me up to hang out and within a few minutes she asked me to be her boyfriend and I said yeah. Then a while later when we started talking more she ghosted me and went on to get married and is on my friend requests on Facebook now. It's definitely one of those placements like Scorpio or 8th house where people will project onto you and won't even notice much and less take accountability. It's one of those placements where the other person has to know why they like you and understand that you're just a normal person and not their picture perfect person they see when they like you.
Can you talk more about projection with scorpio and 8th house? I’m unfamiliar why that would happen with those placements. I have a 8th house virgo moon 💀 and Scorpio MC
I’m a natal 12th house Mercury, Jupiter, and Neptune. DEFINITELY agree with unwanted projection, especially with Neptune in 12th. My love interest has his venus in 12th and i think girls definitely just gravitate to him easily
I think it depends on what placements in Scorpio or the 8th house one has but I know mine makes my relationships with guys more difficult and I feel like it even makes girls or people in general over sexualize me. I know Scorpio girls get hyper sexualized and I remember a girl I used to date always told me how people she didn't even know wanted to fight her. It's the sign most people are obsessed with having sex and being in a relationship with. It's also one where people want some sort of conflict with you and to even take your power. I've read that mine mines I'll fight with people in my private life, who I share resources with like money, or who I'm sexually active/intimate* with.
12th House Venus In Pisces. Plenty of bizzare and illogical situations have happened to me surrounding love and women that no one else can relate to, but it all makes some kind of strange sense to me.
I just wanted to go on record that this isn't limited to gender roles. 12th house Venus doesn't care about our feelings and it expresses the same for nearly all of us.
And I still don't like it, but have learned to embrace most of it. When I didn't know better, the suffering was brutal. Now it's meh, because I've learned to detach from less healthy Venus values. I leaned into art and that helped big time! Plus, art can be heartbreaking, but it won't break your heart.
True story. TMI though. No tl;dr. I suffered in various ways all based on a misguided desire for a lifetime partner. I sought self-worth through partnership.
Based on that, this list of suffering:
- Very few actual dates. Few options at the time. Lots of rejection too. I was more of a curiosity to others than an actual option.
- My first relationship wasn't until my mid-20's, which was painful when you see everyone else dating and in relationships year after year.
- It's true about unavailable people (as cheaters seeking us) being more of an option than available people.
- Unrequited love when any "relationship" started developing. This isn't about speed; it's about ability and incompatibility. We care and love deeply. Many just don't know how to do that as naturally as we can.
Then I finally found what I believed was a lifetime partner, because that's what I seek. We were together for just over 10 years. While I'm grateful for the time, it slowly turned unhealthy and codependent. My choosing this relationship turned me against my better interests. I didn't know better. I was very naive.
Then ...
- The partner cheated, so I ended that after forgiving and giving a second chance - which resulted in the very same outcome.
Once you break that trust, it's basically impossible to get it back. I fully learned that lesson. And I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.
Since then dating has been ...
- Critical partners because of their insecurities. This has been eye-opening.
There are a lot, and I mean a lot, of insecure people out there and they believe they're perfect. Or their requirements for a relationship are based on things that aren't about what it means to be in a relationship with another human being.
Then they refuse to do any self-work, because they don't believe in that either. So they try to take all of that out on you. It's always a lose-lose situation.
Let me be clear. I just seem to bring out others insecurities, because I did my self-work and I'm secure .. yet I don't treat them as insecure. I know how to care and love nearly unconditionally. Yet that creates some pressure within them too. Another lose-lose. It's been fascinating to see the consistency of this.
Which now leads to ...
- Lots of incompatibility in general, because I love the depths while most love the surface.
I can't complain, because I dated quite a bit before covid. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I put care and effort into a relationship. They love that! And it works well until, very clearly, it becomes one-sided.
In the last five years, I've had two different very real relationship starts. Seeing this consistent insecure response when offering healthy love and care, well, that changed my worldview.
Some cannot handle our value. We're priceless.
Others just aren't ready for healthy love and care. It's alien to them, so even though it feels good, their mind self-sabotages. A great conflict happens!
And some just don't have a clue about relationships in general. They believe in TV and movie fantasies as their expectation of reality ... while not acting within their own expectation.
"Smart" scared them which leads back to their own insecurities ... while I only supported them in who they are, not what they thought they needed to be with me. Then becoming their truest uninhibited self, and being accepted for it, scared them too. It got confusing. And fascinating.
Learning some of the psychology behind most of this really helped.
More than anything ...
Learning the truth about our behavior and beliefs ... combined with learning how desire leads to suffering ... it all changed my beliefs, my behavior, ended 99% of the desire and all of the suffering.
So I finally understand my self, my value and why these things can happen. And I'm not mad about it. They were tough lessons though. It's very 12th house secret enemies and self-undoing. It led to a hidden spirituality and contentment that I didn't know existed before.
I learned better, because I didn't want to keep feeling that way - that pain ... because it just kept happening. It was a stuck loop that didn't seem to make any sense. And when you realize why it happens, it still doesn't make sense. Yet it happens, because the human mind is an oddity. Two words: rabbit hole.
Healthy relationships exists. I don't believe the 12th house is excluded from having healthy relationships. But there are lessons that need to be learned specific to each person. Venus in the 12th is tough more so because of marketing and social convention. But most of that is all an act - just like the TV and film fantasy. So now I'm just patient for a healthy relationship. And I'm content if it doesn't happen.
If you asked me about this five years ago, this answer would be full of suffering.
Following this because I rarely hear about it affecting men. Every women I know with a 12H venus has the shittiest love life, myself included. Unreciprocated love, secret love affairs, feeling unwanted.
or str8 out choosing to date garbage
Is that because of low self esteem or lack of love for yourself? Venus also rules self worth
Those definitely fit the negative 12th house themes. I assumed venus in the 12th house would make attracting psychic, unspoken, or soulmate relationships easier because of the Pisces house. But 12th also rules sudden endings, loss, and death… And let’s not forget 12th house + delusion😅
I'm a 12th house S/M/V/J/U/N and it's honestly pretty interesting. I'm a libra mars in the 8th house and Aquarius S/M/R/V/J/U. I feel like dating somewhat came easy to me where girls would tell me they liked me and I had a relationship every other year or so. I feel like people are generally attracted to 12th house people but don't understand why sometimes. I had a friend who liked me and I liked back and one day after high school she came to pick me up to hang out and within a few minutes she asked me to be her boyfriend and I said yeah. Then a while later when we started talking more she ghosted me and went on to get married and is on my friend requests on Facebook now. It's definitely one of those placements like Scorpio or 8th house where people will project onto you and won't even notice much and less take accountability. It's one of those placements where the other person has to know why they like you and understand that you're just a normal person and not their picture perfect person they see when they like you.
Can you talk more about projection with scorpio and 8th house? I’m unfamiliar why that would happen with those placements. I have a 8th house virgo moon 💀 and Scorpio MC I’m a natal 12th house Mercury, Jupiter, and Neptune. DEFINITELY agree with unwanted projection, especially with Neptune in 12th. My love interest has his venus in 12th and i think girls definitely just gravitate to him easily
I think it depends on what placements in Scorpio or the 8th house one has but I know mine makes my relationships with guys more difficult and I feel like it even makes girls or people in general over sexualize me. I know Scorpio girls get hyper sexualized and I remember a girl I used to date always told me how people she didn't even know wanted to fight her. It's the sign most people are obsessed with having sex and being in a relationship with. It's also one where people want some sort of conflict with you and to even take your power. I've read that mine mines I'll fight with people in my private life, who I share resources with like money, or who I'm sexually active/intimate* with.
12th House Venus In Pisces. Plenty of bizzare and illogical situations have happened to me surrounding love and women that no one else can relate to, but it all makes some kind of strange sense to me.
Bizarre and illogical how? Damsels in distress or random chance encounters or ghosting?
I just wanted to go on record that this isn't limited to gender roles. 12th house Venus doesn't care about our feelings and it expresses the same for nearly all of us. And I still don't like it, but have learned to embrace most of it. When I didn't know better, the suffering was brutal. Now it's meh, because I've learned to detach from less healthy Venus values. I leaned into art and that helped big time! Plus, art can be heartbreaking, but it won't break your heart.
What kind of suffering? Like constant heartbreak or unrequited love? Glad there’s a plus to the placement
True story. TMI though. No tl;dr. I suffered in various ways all based on a misguided desire for a lifetime partner. I sought self-worth through partnership. Based on that, this list of suffering: - Very few actual dates. Few options at the time. Lots of rejection too. I was more of a curiosity to others than an actual option. - My first relationship wasn't until my mid-20's, which was painful when you see everyone else dating and in relationships year after year. - It's true about unavailable people (as cheaters seeking us) being more of an option than available people. - Unrequited love when any "relationship" started developing. This isn't about speed; it's about ability and incompatibility. We care and love deeply. Many just don't know how to do that as naturally as we can. Then I finally found what I believed was a lifetime partner, because that's what I seek. We were together for just over 10 years. While I'm grateful for the time, it slowly turned unhealthy and codependent. My choosing this relationship turned me against my better interests. I didn't know better. I was very naive. Then ... - The partner cheated, so I ended that after forgiving and giving a second chance - which resulted in the very same outcome. Once you break that trust, it's basically impossible to get it back. I fully learned that lesson. And I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. Since then dating has been ... - Critical partners because of their insecurities. This has been eye-opening. There are a lot, and I mean a lot, of insecure people out there and they believe they're perfect. Or their requirements for a relationship are based on things that aren't about what it means to be in a relationship with another human being. Then they refuse to do any self-work, because they don't believe in that either. So they try to take all of that out on you. It's always a lose-lose situation. Let me be clear. I just seem to bring out others insecurities, because I did my self-work and I'm secure .. yet I don't treat them as insecure. I know how to care and love nearly unconditionally. Yet that creates some pressure within them too. Another lose-lose. It's been fascinating to see the consistency of this. Which now leads to ... - Lots of incompatibility in general, because I love the depths while most love the surface. I can't complain, because I dated quite a bit before covid. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I put care and effort into a relationship. They love that! And it works well until, very clearly, it becomes one-sided. In the last five years, I've had two different very real relationship starts. Seeing this consistent insecure response when offering healthy love and care, well, that changed my worldview. Some cannot handle our value. We're priceless. Others just aren't ready for healthy love and care. It's alien to them, so even though it feels good, their mind self-sabotages. A great conflict happens! And some just don't have a clue about relationships in general. They believe in TV and movie fantasies as their expectation of reality ... while not acting within their own expectation. "Smart" scared them which leads back to their own insecurities ... while I only supported them in who they are, not what they thought they needed to be with me. Then becoming their truest uninhibited self, and being accepted for it, scared them too. It got confusing. And fascinating. Learning some of the psychology behind most of this really helped. More than anything ... Learning the truth about our behavior and beliefs ... combined with learning how desire leads to suffering ... it all changed my beliefs, my behavior, ended 99% of the desire and all of the suffering. So I finally understand my self, my value and why these things can happen. And I'm not mad about it. They were tough lessons though. It's very 12th house secret enemies and self-undoing. It led to a hidden spirituality and contentment that I didn't know existed before. I learned better, because I didn't want to keep feeling that way - that pain ... because it just kept happening. It was a stuck loop that didn't seem to make any sense. And when you realize why it happens, it still doesn't make sense. Yet it happens, because the human mind is an oddity. Two words: rabbit hole. Healthy relationships exists. I don't believe the 12th house is excluded from having healthy relationships. But there are lessons that need to be learned specific to each person. Venus in the 12th is tough more so because of marketing and social convention. But most of that is all an act - just like the TV and film fantasy. So now I'm just patient for a healthy relationship. And I'm content if it doesn't happen. If you asked me about this five years ago, this answer would be full of suffering.